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Monday, October 05, 2015

Ok, so I's NOT wasting away.  I gotted CHICK-HEN!!!!! And I didn't efen haf to steal it.  Oh, and the mom, I's sorry I bited your fingers getting that ferst piece you held up for me - I was so 'acited I didn't know what I was doing.  And Billy, well, he had not had chick-hen in so long he didn't know how to operate his own mouf.  He forgotted how to open it.  MOL.  

Thursday, October 01, 2015

Here are some things heard around our house this week: 

Get your butt out of my face, I'm trying to sleep
Get your butt ouf of Billy's face
Get your face out of Nicky's butt
Get out of the bathtub
Get off the toilet
Really, get your butt out of my face
Stop slapping my head
Who's my poosie woosie? (that would be NOT ME)
Don't put your paw in the fan
Stop stabbing me with your claws 
guess who's getting a man-a-cure
you DO have food in your dish
go ahead and put your paws in my ice cream, i'm going to eat it anyway
ok, stop licking the other side of my ice cream sandwich
get out of my cereal
stop whapping stuff off the table
get off the table 
get off the dresser
stop jumping on me, i'm trying to sleep
do all of you have to sit on my lap while i eat? 

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Deer Diary

Day Elebenty Five of the "starve Miles" campaign by that ebil "the mom" person.  While she SAYS that she is giving us the same amount of foods in our dish, there is a marked decrease in edible foods from her plate.  This is concerning and a bit terrifying. The Orinch Meniss and I are fading fast.  Orinch Meniss has been seen to lay down in the middle of a room while he walks through it, and just stare that the ebil "the mom" person.  She just looks at him and laugs the ebil maniacal laugh of the insane.  I have tried to make my pathetic look even more pathetic - if i make mine eyes any bigger they will be bigger than mine head, and that might scare her.  I have given up hope of ever getting a bite of something edible from her plate ever again.  Most of what is on her plate now is begetables or pasta.  I even brought mineself down to her level and stole a piece of pasta.  It did not have sauce or butter on it. It was nasty. The Orinch Meniss said that the "zit" last week with the tomato sauce was good.  I could not bring mineself to even sniff it.  The ebil "the mom" person called it "ziti".  I am not about to eat anything that sounds that gistusting.  

I find that I am eating more of that awful, dry, kibble stuff that is mounded up in our big bowl. It is supposed to taste like some sort of dead animal, but I can't figure out which one. The psycho Sammy and that little rat Nicky are all "OH BUT IT'S SO GOOD!! NOM NOM NOM".  They need to stop because the ebil "the mom" person says that they are getting FAT like ME. If the mom does not start eating some form of real, live, dead animal this week, I am afraid that I will have to either sell her, or put mineself up for sale to some human with a heart.  

Note from the ebil "the mom" person:  I am not starving you Miles. You have plenty to eat in your bowl that is healthy for you and delicious. I am just choosing to eat a little healthier to see if that will help some of my medical issues.  Believe me, I miss the real live dead cow and the real live dairy products too. 

Hey you, ebil "the mom" person - GET OUT OF MINE DIARY! Sheesh, nosy human. 

Monday, September 28, 2015

Deer Diary

I have continued to seek out ways to get more food from the mom. Previously I have wandered around the house hollering at things like the fridgerfrator, bath tub, cabinets, tables, tv and couch, thinking that the mom would give me foods to shut me up.  This has failed.  This past week I have taken to wandering around behind her, following her all over the house and putting on mine bestest pathetic look - and pathetic meow. I open mine mouth and no sound comes out.  All I get in response to this is "Oh sweet pea, what's wrong? are you ok? oh sweetie pie". But NO FOODS.  

The die-t that she has us on is slowly sapping all of our strength from us - we can barely make it across a room without passing out.  

I have to try and figure out how to get more food of that horrible woman. 
Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Mine breathing is getting a little better- ME is breathing again wif mine mouf closed, but the mom lady person says it's still "labored".  But, that could just be the way ME breathes, she says Gramma Trixie used to breathe like this too.  Maybe it's an orinch meniss thing.  She says mine eye is the next thing that needs to be taken care of.  The nice v-e-t did not want to do too much to me at one time, so ME would not get stressed out.  ME says ME is fine just the way ME is. But the mom lady person says that mine bad blind eye may be very bad for me.  Oh well, ME will just do whatever the mom lady person wants.  

In the meantime, ME is back to trying to escape from here.  

Monday, September 21, 2015

well crappity crap crap crap, it's been like elebenty squillion sleeps since I was last allowed to post.  

I hopes you all had a great time on your flying mystery condo trip.  Looks like you all went some great places. 

Here is mine report for the day: 

The Foods Report:  Well, the mom has this whole "DIET" thing going on again 'acause she says all of us except Nicky are FAT.  So, I got exactly 2 bites of bacon, 1 bite of steak and NO LICKS OF ICE CREAM last week.  I'm dying here. 

The orinch-meniss report:  Well, he seems to be doing somewhat OK,  he is breathing with his mouth closed again, but the mom says that he seems to be breathing hard still.  But he has not wheezed so that is good.  Maybe the plucking will be the only thing he has to have done.  Although, I was thinking that if he had to have more surgery, they would like cut his head in half and put it back together with a zipper - then he could be a zipper head.  That would be kind of fun.  The mom says I'm mean.  Really it was Sammy's thought.  

Speaking of Sammy, here is Mr Psyho-Murderer with his psycho report:   ::AHEM:: well  the aliens were not out much in the real hots the last few weeks, but they are coming out again now.  I am still disturbed that the one next door ate his family and then moved to another state. ::shudder::  Back to you rice pudding thighs

Well, that's about it for the Meezer Monday report.  
Saturday, September 19, 2015

Well group 3 found a new trick - floating heads!!! They had a BLAST in the desert - you know, that giant sandbox!!! MOL

Group 4 meanwhile, found an interesting place - does anyone know where they are? they are trying not to get too wet - except Tommy, he loves the water.  although this may be a little cold.  Do you think they will find polar bears or penguins where they are.
 This has been a pawsome trip!!! I am so glad you all came along!!!

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Group 2 has found a landing spot.  It looks a little familiar to me..........

Does anyone know where they are? 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

well well well, look at where this group landed!! We all set our magical condos on "random" and landed all different places!! Where are these kitties? Looks like fun! 

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The kitteh hood of the flying condo has flung its way around the world - east and west and north and south! See the conclusion of our trip tomorrow, Thursday and Friday!!!  You won't BELIEVE what you see!