Tuesday, July 17, 2007

ARRGGGHH

SAMMY

Ok "Mother" - if that is your real name. We haf had this talk 'afore. But 'parently, you seem to have swiss cheese for a brain, so we need to go through this AGAIN.

1. When you are going into the human litterbox room, I ALWAYS jump on onto the human litterbox after you put the lid up, to get to the windowsill. Yes, I can jump from the floor, and do it all the time when you is not there. WHY does you NOT LOOK and insist on sitting your jinormous tooshie on me and making me splash into the human litterbox (STOP LAFFIN AND LAFFIN! I'm TIRED of being wet. NO, I will not stop this behavior).

2. When you feed me stinky goodness, you MUST pick me up and kiss me on the head or I am not able to eat it. Cripes. It's only been 3 stinking years and you can't 'amember this?

3. I will ALWAYS run down to the dungeon when you open the door. I wait for it all day and am furry alert to your steps down the hall. I HAF to go talk to The One Who Came Before in the corner of the dungeon where his couch is. Eifurr you need to deal wif it, or stop watcing "The Blair Witch Project" movie. (if you haf seen the end of that movie, you know what it's like to watch me in the corner, I'm LOUD and freaky.)

4. I will snuggle wif you in snuggling posishun ON MY SCHEDULE, NOT YOURS. If I do not feeling like snuggling in snuggling posishun, I will lay across your head or face. Deal. Wif. It.

5. Whapping is my nature. If you doesn't want anyfing whapped into your head (including the rather large clock radio that takes me most of the night to silently move to the edge of the table) then don't put anyfing on the table. No light. No clock radio. No glasses (if you need to see when you get up, just keep them on your face when you sleep. Too bad if it herts when I lay on your face). No remotes for the TV. no phones. No table clof. Akshually, no table, 'cause if there was nofing on it, I would knock it ofurr.

6. DO NOT CALL ME "PEG-LEG PETE". I love butt skritchies. I stand on my tippytoes when you skritch the right spot at the base of my tail. It does NOT look like I haf peg-legs when I stand this way.

7. I like hanging ofurr the balcony and looking into the lifing room. stop yelling at me to stop.

8. Yes, I haf to eat the fev-vers out of your pillows.

9. Yes, when I eat too many of them, I haf to barf up a pile of fev-vers in the hallway.

10. I still love you - but you're getting on MY LAST NERVE.


DOES YOU UNNERSTAND?

33 comments:

William said...

Sammy, I'd comment on this but after #1, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Zoey and the furballs (the Zoo Crew) said...

Geez, beans are a lot of work!

Tara said...

You got to keep on them!
I look over our balcony into the family room all the time, and Mom yellin' is no good....

Tara

Munchkin, Missy and Monte said...

Our Mom is going to wake everyone up if she keeps laffing.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Dey is hard to trane isn't dey! Mom stop laffing, dis is sereeus stuff! Sheesh, beans...

小芥 michico said...

It is not a easy job - being our momma~!
So, ... anyway, I think you are nice, your mommy won't be so much worry about you.

Kimo & Sabi said...

When we watches da Supernanny show, they writes out da rules and posts them on da frige. somethin' to consider.

Dragonheart said...

Oh Sammy, I'm sorry your human mom doesn't understand your behaviour and your needs.

And I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at #1! :)

Parker said...

Those humans never seen to get it, do they? I hope you don't get wet again for a long time!

Beau Beau & Angie said...

All dose fings could prolly be made into a meme.
I fink you said it loud enuf so that I'm sure yur Mom unnerstands now and will do your bidding. You must repurt back and let us know.

DEBRA said...

Oh no Sammy you're not...you're really not gettin wet? WET? Yesterday Momma nearly fell ofur herself when she put da lid up and I pulled myself up to the top of lid and looked in. I a'cided I diddant like da looks of dat water so I diddant jump in, does I look like I am stoopid? No. What wuz she finkin? I don't knoos whare dey get der brains. I fink yu have made yurself furry plane. No misudderstandin should happen now.


:::wavin paws:::
Bye Miles!
Boo, Ping, Jinx and Gracie

Bye to my handsome sweet whappin floofy mancat Sammys!

Purrs and Nosekisses
Your devoted tiny baby girl
~Abby

Jimmy Joe said...

That is a good, clear list of instructions, Sammy. I hope that her swiss-cheese holes remember all of that.
Your buddy, JJ

Emma's Kat said...

LOL! Sammy, you are too funny. I know, I know, us beans are the funny ones. ;)

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

I'm so sorry your mom is getting so annoying. I really really really don't understand why they can't just accept that they have to live on our terms.

Latte

Victor Tabbycat said...

What did you say, Sammy? Mom's laffin her tail off!
Wait, you don't eat until after kisses? Heck, I hardly wait fur the bowl to hit the floor!
Beans are thick. You do haf to repete these obvious rules often.

Gemini said...

Oh I completely understand!

Cats~Goats~Quotes said...

Those are some gud rules.
Sumtimes beans are hard to train.

~Noah

Daisy said...

Very simple rules. Why do you think she has so much trouble understanding them?

The Feline Sextet said...

We's glad to hear we's not the only ones having trouble keeping our beans trained, what do they think they is?! WE are the kitties and we are da bosses! We likes da idea of printing da rules out and putting them up as a reminder!
T.F.S.

The Furry Kids said...

Those are all very reasonable requests. I don't see what the problem is.

Earl Grey

Shilgiah the Cat said...

No use expecting them to remember all the reasonable requests/rules you have clearly stated over and over. Humans need to have thing reinterated multiple times and still may not clearly undertand.

I've found that it's best to just laugh at them a lot and tell stupid people jokes to your sibling. It really helps to keep a sense of humor. I don't think the humans mean to be stupid they are just a little dense sometimes.

HRH Yao-Lin said...

hahahahaha oh my we are laffin at laffin - not at you, of course, just at the obvious stupidity of your human. honestly, I do empathise! I LOVE number 3 - that is soo funny, I can just imagine you being all creepy and talking to ghosts in the corner he he xx

DK & The Fluffies said...

We're with squilliam - hahahahahahahahahaha

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Well, you gave our mom a much needed laff but we think you mom has some serious mind defect and you may need to take action.

Henry Helton said...

You give it to her, Sammy. Lay down the law. It's your house.

Tyler said...

Sammy, do you think she forgets or is she forgetting on purpose. The later is very very serious because if she's not listening on purpose you have to give her a consequence. For example, you might make her fall into the waters of the human littlerbox. I'm sure then she'd "remember".

Caesar and Princess said...

Sammy, this was very very funnnny.
You need to scream really really loud when you see the ginormus butt coming down on you

Humans are very slow to learn, some never do.


Caesar :oD

Derby said...

Some beans are so hard to train. I bet you she will forget again.

Hot(M)BC said...

Uh oh. Mommy is laffin and laffin now. Help!






Purrrrrrrrs n nosekisses to my boyfriendcat Miles! -- Sanjee

DaisyMae Maus said...

Wow, Sammy! It sounds like your momma is a ssss-llloooooowwwwww - leeearrrnnnnnnerrrrr ... Maybe you should write it down for her an' put it onto the 'frigerator and the litterbox room mirror???

DMM

Donny and Marie and Casey said...

I'm sorry you have to go thru this with your mommy - AGAIN.

I sometimes feel I'm like a broken record myself with my mommy....

~Casey

Renee said...

Funny, I see you and Miles both demanding that your Mom change her ways to suit you...but your Mom is a little bit older than you two and even more set in her ways.

What have you and Miles given up or changed about yourselves for your mom? HUH?

Have you ever decided that the table should not be your special laying spot? NO, I don't think so. Have you ever not whapped the remote into your Mom's head? Still No.

I think if you really want your mom to change, you have to make the first step.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

yeesh sammy, you'd fink she'd get it by now, huh? want me to talk wif her?

smiles, auntie bee

Meezer Monday

MILES Yeah, it's Meezer Monday.  EVERY MONDAY IS MEEZER MONDAY and that woman just does not care.  She doesn't feed me good food...