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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Attenshun Human Female Who Thinks That She Runs My Life and The House: (if that is your REAL name).

Complaint Number 1: The freaking cold air blowy things that are in the sleeping room. Now, we have central cold air blowing out of all the vents. Why does we need to have a room cold air blowy thing and a fan cold air blowy thing too? Haf you noticed that IT'S SNOWING IN THE SLEEPING ROOM? Now you know why I has to sleep unner the covers. SHEESH.

Complaint Number B: The ham sichuachun is just deplorable (I knew that those werd of the day calendars would come in handy one day). There is no ham in the frigerfrator. There is no ham anywhere in this house. This needs to change and it needs to change FAST.

Complaint Number 3: I want to go camping in the highlands. I'm a little tired of the wilderness, so MOVE MY TENT. Please.

Complaint Number C: I want, no, I NEED to play the red dot game. All the time. must. play. red. dot. game. Hey, you gotted it for me, so you has to play with me.

Complaint Number 2: Why can't I have my own credit card? I believe I can be fiscally (thank you again werd of the day calendar) 'asponsible and I can count - as I haf proofed by my numbering of this list. If I hadded my own credit card, I could order a 36 pound smiffield ham from smiffield virginny. I would share it wif you.

That is my list of complaints. Fank you for your attenshun.

Your adoring little Poosie
(see, I'm using the cute name!)

34 cats hollering back:

Tyler said...

Miles or Poosie (he,he, he),
I think your demands are resonable. Keep up the demands and let us know how it goes, please.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

NO HAM! Anywhere! Dat is just not rite. We think since yoo used one of her dumb niknames she shood go rite NOW and get yoo ham. Oh, we use mom's plastik monee thingie to order ourselfs stuff on da innernets. If yoo put it back in da wallet when yoo are dun dey neffur know. Well, not til dey get one of dem Bill things den she yells dat she din't order 50 pounds of makeral and dat we gotta werk off da bill fur it. Oh well, it was wirth it....mmm makeral

Samantha & Tigger said...

Poosie, we think you deserve to get all your demands met. After all you let her call you Poosie!!! (hehehe)
Your Fl furiends,

Gemini said...

Oh Chey just fainted dead away when you said no ham...

michico 小芥 said...

Oah that is very important suggestions, please let us know how will it goes~! I look forward to see that.

Renee said...

Miles: all you need is her credit card number. You can find it on her bill. You do screen all her mail...right? Do that and you'll have the number...then you memorize it and ta dah! You're set for life.

DH thinks that it's aweful that I know our credit card number by heart...better than my ssn.

Tara said...

I think you made a very compelling (great word, huh?) argument. I expect you will get your card (and ham), any minute now.


Tripper the Psyko Stray Cat said...

At leest yoo gots a blog, Miles: things cood be werse!!!!

One-Eyed Jack said...

Huh. Humans. What can you do? My Giant likes it cold enough for polar bears in the sleeping room too, and I don't wanna sleep there, and the other day he had TUNA!! And he didn't even give us any!!! He SAYS it's 'cause nocat came running really fast for it. Well 'course not! We were sleeping! It was after-breakfast nap time!!

But I now have FIVE tents!! So I can come camping next time with you!


Eric and Flynn said...

Well that looks like a perfikkly reezunabull list to us, but shouldn't the ham been rite at the top?

Dragonheart said...

Those are all valid complaints, Miles, except for the cold air one. Be very, very happy that you have a cold air thingie. We don't have one here in Munich (the Germans think it's unhealthy, so we can't buy one, and because we can't cut holes in our walls because we rent, we can't install one if we imported one from elsewhere). When it's really, really hot out, it's horrible, since we have no cold air thingies, just fans.

DEBRA said...


We have to sleep wif the central cold air fing set at 69 degrees! DEN she still puts on TOO blowie fings in the dark room. What is her probblem? Juss cuz I sleep next to her and make her hot. I am tryin to stay warm. So I feel ya buddie!!

::wavin paws:::
Boo, Ping, Jinx and Gracie

Hey Sammys
If Miles get's yur Mommies credit card ah maybe we can all book a cruize or sumfing and go on a baykashun! I cood see us loungin on sum tropical aisleland in da south Pawshiftic drinkin niptinis...doesn't dat sound grate?

Bye to my sweet handsome floofy dark choc-o-lait meezer mancat!

Purrs and Nosekisses
Your adoring little angelcake
~Abby <~~~~ dreamin of being wif Sammy on a tropeekal aisleland

Christine and FAZ said...

Let me know how you get on. I think this is a fair list and I hope all your complaints are addressed in a timely and reasonable fashion.

Waving from space. FAZ

Honey P. Sunshine said...

one werd for the cold blowy thing.....SUNBATHING .....

Muddy said...

Good luck with the list. Can't imagine NO HAM!!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

nice letter miles! i fink your requests are furry resonable too! specelly the ham one. i like ham too. do you like cake like me? and you are on my sidebar today and sammy too. cuties...

smiles, auntie bee

Big Piney Woods Cats said...

Great list there and you really have a handle on numbers. You know what you want and have made yourself clear. It remains to be seen if the demands are met. If it was here, it would be filed in File 13, whatever that is.

Your Bestest Furriend)

Jimmy Joe said...

You have asked so nicely I don't see how the Lady could ignore your requests. Do you at least have some turkey to tide you over until she gets her act in gear and gets you ham?
Your buddy, Jimmy Joe

Victor Tabbycat said...

Miles, you made furry good points an yur a furry good counter. Dare I tell you, we had ham last night? Mom an Dad bof shared wif me an I efun cleaned the servin dish when they wasn't lookin.

I was always ascared that if I went to the complaint department, sum angry bean would tell ME all their complaints!

Daisy said...

Very valid complaints, Miles. But you made a little mistake with the numbering. The Number 2 is supposed to come before the Complaint Number C.

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

She is definitely falling down on the job. How could you run out of ham?? Doesn't she know that's like being a human & running out of toilet paper?
Our mom is liking things cool too. Something to do with her advanced age.

DK & The Fluffies said...

Dang woman - get it in gear!

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

NO HAM?!?! That's just WRONG! This morning the Lady served up some food, a kind I like. I said "meow, meow, meow" so she put fishie flakes on top of it, which I also like. I then said "meow, meow, meow, meow, MEOW!", at which point she broke out the ham. After a couple slices, I went to eat my stinky goodness with fishie flakes. ::sigh:: Doesn't she know how to serve a meal properly by now? Anyway, your situation would certainly be cured by a credit card. If your mom doesn't keep the house well-stocked with necessities, she'd appreciate it if you would help out. I know she would.

The Furry Kids said...

Those are all very valid complaints. We have never had ham before, but it sounds like it's a bad, bad thing to run out.

Earl Grey

HRH Yao-Lin said...

hehehehehe excellent letter, hope the human takes heed. The ham situation is deplorable indeed! Shocking! x

Cats~Goats~Quotes said...

Excellent complaints!
The Red Dot Game is a necessity, why don't they understand that?

~ Napoleon

Forty Paws said...

Wowee. Your sleepin room sounds way too cold. We like it warm. Hopefully she will listen to your demands, but beans sometimes turn a deaf ear on us, ya know?

Uh, maybe you could go on strike fur yur ham?

Luf, Us

Caesar and Princess said...

It is fr-r-r-reeeeezing cold here too, especially at night when they are snoring.

I am very sad to hear that you have such horrible conditions though at your place.
Maybbe you could email the aspca or somthing, or that cat police.

<3 purrrrrr-rrrrrs, Princessss

caspersmom said...

What I want to know Miles did it pay off filing your complaints. Seems to me the human female of the house gets her way all the time. Did it work for you?? Oh by the way we have that cooold air too. I have to move sometimes to get out of it's way.

Yes, it's a lot easier for me to post from the bed. Got everything laid out before me. I can dictate to my human female from there.

Oh by the way Sammy, I think your new look being a blue Mancat is very becoming.


Parker said...

Parker <----- faints...Thunk...
This is unacceptable!

Beau Beau & Angie said...

Poosie is what Mom calls does fings dat turn into little balls of material on human clothes dat dey has to pick off. We hopes she duzn't haf to pick yoo off from doze complaints efun tho dey am way serious speshully not haffing any ham in da howse. How can dat be? Schmaybe she canna make da conneckshun of no ham + nite time = Miles running ofur da human head.

DaisyMae Maus said...

Those are some furry reasonable requests, Miles. I think that your momma will handle all of the aforementioned forth with!

Lemme know when the ham arrives at your house so that I can teleport over for a slice (or ten).


Blue cat man said...

We at Krasota Castle agree. We prefers chiken to ham, but are not fussy. visit our blog at

We're especially fond of "Meezer Rules" and "Easy like Sunday", which we've respectfully emulated.

Henry Helton said...

I hate air conditioners! I think they are unnecessary.

French Toast Alert