Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday

MILES

Me ferst! Today is Meezer Rule Wednesday. My rule for today is:

When someone has a big huge pile of coins that they is counting, make shur to stand in the middle of it and kick the coins around. This makes the beans say lots of werds on your bad werd list AND makes them forget how to count.

Oh, by the way mommy, sorry about kicking your coins around. hee hee. (not).


SAMMY

Welcome to the ferst Whapping Wednesday. This is the day that I, Sammy Meezer, king of the whap, will teach all of you my whapping tek-neek.

Todays ferst lesson is how to determine where the best opportunities for whapping are.
In my experience the best place for whapping is in the sleeping room. There are usually tables next to the bed, and on those tables are great whappable things, like cell phones, clocks, glasses that beans use to see and most importantly water glasses. Lots of beans put a cover on the water glass to keep us kitties from drinking out of them during the night, but they are not always whap proof. Also, if your beans think that water bottles are safe, they are sadly mistaken.
In the living room, if you has a fireplace and there is a shelf over it, that usually contains some great whappables. The kind that would make the beans heads explode if they saw you whapping them.
In the kit-chen, stuff on the counters is always good to whap- especially if it has grainy stuff inside - like salt or sugar - you know, stuff that requires the beans to get out mops and rug-sucking monsters.
The bathroom is also a wonderful source of whappables- especially if you has a lady bean who has lots of colored goo that she puts on her face. Or stuff on the sides of the tub.
Your assignment for this week is to walk through your house and make a note of where there are lots of whappables located and make a mental note of it.
Next week: What is whappable and what is not worth it.

43 comments:

The Devil Dog said...

oooh, I think the whappable list could get me in to trouble. Big time. But I will check out the whappables around the house, just in case.

Roxy

Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

This is great!! I have been so unsure about where to find these things and left to only whap from night stands. I think I'm really going to look into the coffee table.

Latte

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

great advice!!! i wonder if sarge would let me whap stuff????

smiles, auntie bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Sammy, that was a wonderful bit of advice and learning. Now... where should I hide the notes?

michico*Adan said...

Oah Yes Sammy~!
I got to take notes right away!!
I think I need your suggestion very badly~!

Chairman Mao said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I love love love it! I loves whappin, yes I do, I loves whappin, yes I do! I agree with you on alla the kounts! And I'll add anothur place -- office desks! There are all kindsa great whappable things on office desks. Cordless mousies. Coffee stirrurs stickin outta mugs. Keys sometimes. It makes the bean sspaz when they can't finds their keys. And pens! Pens are fun to whap and if you whap 'em enuff they'll go under furnichur where the beans can't find them!

Kittyhugs and purrs from MaoMao!

Marilyn MonREOW said...

*giggling*, I love your post! Sounds like you fellows have a lot of fun. I seldom whap, but I must confess to a rather distressing tendency (to the beans), when I have a hairball -- I like to barf on electronics. I barfed into the stereo receiver this past summer, and because of that, I can't lay on it anymore. And just the other day, I barfed up a hairball on Daddy's computer keyboard.

Uh oh! (*smile*)

Purrs and snuggles from Marilyn!

Marilyn MonREOW said...

Oh, I just remembered something I do love to whap -- coffee stirrers! Like MaoMao. All us Ballicai love the things!

DK & The Fluffies said...

I wish DKM had piles of coin for me to thump over. ~Fiona Bun

Tara said...

Those are great whappables! Kavan especially likes the sleeping room. Mom as a headboard with a slidy door that closes, and she has to put her water and glasses there, or Kavan whaps them on the floor!

Tara

Renee said...

I bet you didn't know that wolfies could whap too. Well Lilly can...she just whaps with her tail. Anything on the coffee table...gets whapped off.

She's not really tall enough to get to the other whappables, but she dreams of it...I'm sure.

Dragonheart & Merlin said...

That is a great rule, Miles. :)

Sammy, thank you for the whapping lesson. Sadly, our humans keep the doors to the kitchen and bathroom closed, and only keep books next to the bed - they have learned to put their eyeglasses away in their cases, and they never have drinking glasses there.

Gandalf & Grayson said...

Well, maybe she won't let you get so low on crunchies ever again, hmm? Ah, revenge is crunchy. Purrs =^..^=

Parker said...

~scribbles notes down ~ Got it! - I'll be doing my homework this week!

goldenshade said...

Thanks for coming over!! I do love to whap!!! I'll start a list. One great place is anywhere around wee ones. See, you whap something, one wee one blames the other for touching it...they can't find it...there are tears and fits. Really, hours and hours of good, clean kitty fun.

DEBRA said...

Sammy

I whapped the heck out of the small but loud sucking monster machine. Yesterday Mom found a bit of ahhhh residue I left on the wall next to the litter box and she decided after cleaning that off to use this small hand held LOUD sucking monster to get up all the little bits of litter that we all so carefully put down. I didn't like it and I attacked it. I thought it was going to GET Momma so I hadda to protect her. Yu wood've been proud of me!

***wavin paws***
Hiya Miles!
Boo, Ping, Jinx and Gracie

***blowin kisses***
Bye to my sweet sassy handsome whapping king Sammy!

Purrs and Nosekisses
Your adoring little angel gurl
~Abby

Scout said...

I thought I was good at whapping, but now that I have an assignment I will follow it and see what else I can get into. I have found getting on the shelves where there are things Mommy calls “collectables and breakables” usually gets me bunches of attention! I can’t help it, they make a really great noise when they whiz through the air!

Purrs,
Scout

Tazo said...

This is a very informative post! Miles, I am definitely going to try this. And Sammy, I am in awe. We have a little add-on to the water bottle whapping. We whap it off the counter and then Titus takes it and chews the cap off. hee hee Dawgs come in handy sometimes. :)

Love,
Tazo

Tybalt said...

I always learn so much from you, Sammy and Miles! Which is why I have given you an award. Come by my blog to pick it up!

Also, I plan to take my homework very seriously. I have already noted the whappables next to the bed and over the fireplace, but I plan to extend my investigation into the dining room and on top of the tv stand in the living room.

Queen Snickers or Empress said...

I am a board whapper, I don't give it much enthusiasms. My son Punkin on the other hand sounds like you! He does it especially to show his displeasure at his bean mommy, like whapping (and snapping)the ceramic golfer off her collectible houses when her would not let him sit on the printer in her office. hehe He now sits on the printer. He has her well trained. ~Queen Snickers

Daisy said...

I think this is going to greatly improve my whapping skills. I will get started on the first assignment right away!

The Fluffy Tribe said...

we like to whap moms ringing clock off the table by her bed. ~the Fluffy TRibe

Big Piney Woods Cats said...

I love to whap Patches. If I work it just right, I get her on the head real good, and then she shakes it, and tries to whap me back. Usually I am way too fast.

Hi to our bestest furriends!!

Precious

HRH Yao-Lin said...

hehe excellent, love the whapping lesson - I shall reslish wandering about my hovel looking for things to ruin! x

Ariel said...

Lol...You two are so adorable. I love to whap stuff :)

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Oh oh, Miles, da last time mom counted coins and we knocked dem all over she said dat we were not getting any treats because she couldn't buy them wifout da coins! Sammy, we have been threw our house with yoor lesson in mind and we can't beleeve da whappables dat we were missing! Holy crap are we ready to whap! hahahaha

China Cat said...

Great rule, Miles! And Sammy, I really appreciate finding out all the whappable places. Usually I am always getting caught whapping Willow! Maybe I can whap something else today!

Purrrrrs, China Cat

topcatrules said...

NOOOO!!!!! Don't tell Trixie is Whapping Wednesday - she's in enough tropuble!

Oh, I forgot, it's OK, it's Thursday morning 9am here in Australia. :)

From Tigger the FBI Cat

http://tiggerthefbicat.blogspot.com

Java's Coffee House said...

Mommy says I'm not much of a whapper unless it's whapping her feminimene products off the counters. But thanks to your whapping instructions, I am going to become a whapping machine!


headbutts,
Java

Angus said...

Yeah, the bathroom-I'm on it!

Rocky, Angie & S'more said...

Hi Guys,
Us two Himalayans (Rocky and Angie) love to whap stuff! These are real good ideas, and we will be busy taking notes for next week! Our little Tortie, S'more, is not really a whapper. Her forte is barfin'!

Love,
Rocky, Angie, & Smore xo

TT said...

I have learneds some new things! Now if I's can get the courage to do those whaps!!

Miz Allie Cat said...

I will check out all the wappable stuff arounds my house too. meows...

Team Tabby said...

You guys have a long list of whappable things - I must show it to Mindy, she thinks the only thing whappable around here is ME!

Moe

Karl & Ruis said...

We will have to do a Whapping Wednesday as soon as we are back - that sounds like fun!!!
Make sure to come by tomorrow for our tea party for Miss Peach's 15th birthday on board the cruise ship in Antarctica!
Karl and Ruis

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

this is gonna be fun! we're little, but we've alreddy learned how fun whappin' can be. Midnight whaps stuff when she wants sumbuddy ta get up an feed her. you-shully noisy stuff. we're gonna go make notes.
Rascal & Riley

FrecklesandDeb said...

Miles, I think the coin scattering is a brilliant idea. I'll keep careful watch to see if Deb ever counts coins.

Sammy, Thanks for the great whapping list. I haven't figured out if I am capable of whapping yet, but will sure have lots of stuff to practice with!

Freckles

Forty Paws said...

Oh yeah. Maw & Paw haf so much crappity crap crap efurrywer dat whappin ist shur to bee a fulltyme sport.

Luf, Us

Junior said...

Wow! I didn't realize there were so many great things to whap! I will have to check out my home!

Mickey said...

Boy,I can't believe I read this yesterday and didn't comment :)
Just from reading lots of blogs,I think you will have lots of kitties wanting lessons.heehee
Can't wait till next week!!!
Purrs Mickey

Hot(M)BC said...

O Great Whapmeister, I'm doing my homework. (Mom's sniffin and snortin but I'm doin my homework.)
Purrrrrs,
your bud Pepi

MoMo said...

Is this the sequel to the great whapping game at Dr Tweety's party? I love whapping and will definitely come around next Wednesday to see what the experienced whappers have to say.

The Furry Bambinos said...

Wow! What a great post!! We will do our homework so that we are ready to whap!!

Padre, Panda Bear, and Meerkat

Meezer Monday

MILES Yeah, it's Meezer Monday.  EVERY MONDAY IS MEEZER MONDAY and that woman just does not care.  She doesn't feed me good food...