Monday, April 21, 2008

Meezer Monday Miles Report - OH. MY.CAT Edishun

MILES

OH. MY. CAT. What a wild weekend here at chez Meezer. Let's get started:

1. The WHAT THE (insert werd from my bad werd list)?? report
Saturday morning mommy wented down to the dungeon to do some laundry and she started SCREAMING!! so, 'acourse we all hadded to go 'vestigate, even though Sammy is the only one allowed in the dungeon ('acause he talks to "the One Who Came Before" down there were only Sammy can see him) and HOLY (another werd from the bad werd list). There was water EVERYWHERE!!! I mean EVERYWHERE!!! So mommy called the landlord who called the repairbean who called Mommy and said "well, I'll be ofur Sunday to see what's wrong". More bad werds. Mommy started mopping and sweeping (and we doesn't haf a "sumppump" on our side of the townhouse, it's next door, and Miss Bonnie was not home!!). Mopping and sweeping and mopping and sweeping and screaming about boxes and stuff being ruint. She finally gotted the water down to a level where it was not ofur her shoes (about a squillion hours later) (ok, or 4 hours), and she wented upstairs. She wented down a hour later the water was back up ofur her shoes!! She finally finded out where the water was coming from - the hot water thingy springed a leak from the top and was pouring ofur the side. So, she turned the water off to the hot water heater and IT WAS STILL POURING OUT THE TOP! So she hadded to turn ALL the water off in the house. And she called the landlord again who called the repair bean who said he would be ofur in 3 hours (he lives a hour away). She telled him what was wrong and HE DIDN'T BRING ANOFUR WATER HEATER WIF HIM! (ok, blame the landlord for that, he wanted to know if a 18 year old water heater was still unner somefing called a "warranty" mommy laffed and laffed!) But the repair bean fixed the pipes so that we could haf water Saturday night and he was here early Sunday morning wif a brand new water heater. She FINALLY gotted the water all sweeped away and now she has to lug ruint stuff out to the trash this week. Oh well, she saided that she needed to get rid of stuff if we invoke the M-werd, so this forced her to do it. WHEW.

2. The Stranger report by Sammy
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! AAACCCKKKKKKK!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Mommy, I is sorry that I maded you scream my name for 2 hours after the repair bean lefted, and then again for anofur 2 hours after you gotted home from your errands. I didn't mean to make you cry and scream and think I excaped from the hosue and was losted. I cannot tell you where I was hiding 'acuase then you would know to look there in the fuchur. But, I will try and come out sooner so that you doesn't cry all ofur me and get my furs wet when I finally come out.

3. The "Mystery is Solved" report - By Miles
Ok, now we know why Billy is wet all the time. For those of you who guessed that he swims in the human litterbox, you was mostly right.
He stands in it.
Yes, you read that right. He STANDS in the human litter box.
All four feets sometimes.
Ok, Mommy does not close the lids on all of the human litterboxes because of somefing that happend to our furriends Knightly, Lizzie and Firenze 2 years ago (their mommy wented on bay-kshun to Africa and the pet sitter nefur showed up and they didn't eat for 2 weeks! forchunately, their mommy lefted the human litterbox lids open so that they hadded water). So mommy is now completely paranoid that if somefing bad happens to her and she cannot make it home for days on end that we will still haf water if we drink all the water in the FOUR (yes FOUR) water bowls we haf around the house. ::SIGH:: - welcome to our werld. She's completely insane.

4. The FOODS report
Ok, foods for the last week included: ham, steak, venison burger (OH. MY. CAT. that was DEE-LISH-US. Who knew that vishus deers tasted so good??), eggs, and cheese. and BACON.
Billy would like to add that Brussels Sprouts is good foods. Sammy, the begetable lover won't even touch them. Mommy would like to report that you should NEFUR let your kitty eat brussels sprouts. The poots is werse than broccoli. I would like to report that Billy is the strangest kitten in the whole werld.

That is the Meezer Monday Miles Report for today. I needs a nap.

48 comments:

William said...

Oh. My. Bast! I think your poor mom needs a vacation now!!!

P.S. I think Bill's nuts.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh man your poor mommie! be sweet boys this week, okay?

smiles, auntie bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Derby said...

Goodness what a wacky, wild and weird weekend. Sorry your mum had to use words from the bad word list, but it was needed! Purrs to your mum that she have a quieter week.

Renee said...

Oh my goodness I should say so! That was some wild weekend! I have to say that an old water heater getting broken is much much much worse than a broken dryer. so glad your (and mine) are fixed.

hey we could toss Billy with his wet paws in the dryer now that it's all fixed. ;)

DK & The Fluffies said...

Brussels Sprouts rock binkie hard! ~Fiona Bun

Cheysuli and gemini said...

OH my what a weekend. I hope that you all have a better weekend. Gemini is taking notes on that hiding place Sammy. It is her thing to be the best hider there is.

Max said...

:::insert wild laughing about Bill's foot bath choice:::

I remember when Knighly and Lizzie and Firenze had that horrible, awful 2 weeks and I still want to kick their pet sitter in the pechangas. That's one reason my people won't go anywhere longer than overnight and if they ever decide to they're gonna ask the Younger Human to watch us, because family has your back, and if not, they know you'll just hunt them down and rip their pechangas clean OFF.

Glad Sammy didn't escape. That woulda been... stressful

Tara said...

All I can say is...WOW...

I need a nap just reading it.

Tara

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

WE. DON'T. KNOW. WHERE. TO. START.

Your poor Mommy needs a rest!

Can't help laughing about Bill's choice of a place to stand! HAHAHA!

Tigmut'hep said...

I keeps telling you lot it's peas and corn you wanna eat! They's so yummy and good... :) What's even better is that none of the other cats around here like 'em so they'z mine all mine! :)

As for Billy paddling in the human litterbox well he's a kitten and they is born without a brain, so what do you expect! Just pity me as I have 4 of the brainless loons around here right now! ;)

Parker said...

Good grief!!! Your Mommy needs a vacation from weekends!
As for standing in the human litterbox??? EEEWWWWWWW Billy, Billy, Billy...

Pumpkin said...

Um, I don't fink yore teeching Bill that he's supposed to only POKE the water wiff his paws, NOT taking a BAFF in it!

Millie said...

Wow. And I complain that my Mom hogs my blog and talks about quilts. I guess I should relax and be glad nothing THAT exciting happens here.

Mom, on the other paw, was laughing and crying like a lunatic the whole time she read this. I think your Mom needs a vacation.

And Billy, well, he's a kitten. Let's hope he outgrows the standing in the human litterbox.

Kaz's Cats said...

Wow, what a weekend! We think that your Mommy needs to get back to her nice, calm workplace, where there aren't any floods...As for Billy, well could someone (Sammy, Miles, anycat...) let him know that cats aren't supposed to like standing in water.

Hope you kitties ended up snuggling lots with your Mom after all that drama,

Purrs

Gypsy & Tasha

DEBRA said...

Oh gudness graceshuz ya'll hadda BBBBaaaadddd weeekends...yur poor Mommie. We is glad all yur waters were fixed but we knoos dat wuz not gud. Oh Sammy dat wuz furry bad to scairt yur Mommie like dat. I knoos my Momma wood haf a hart attacks if'n she coodn't find me. She goes nutz when she can't find me in 2 minutes. Efen if I is sittin rite in front of her nose and she can't see me. Billy sittin in da hooman litterbox? baaaahahahahaha..dat's a gud one kiddo.

**wavin paws***
Bye Miles -- grate reeport
Bye Billy

***blowin kisses***
Bye to my sweet handsome floofy sooper secrit hidin cocoa puffs master

Purrs and Nosekisses
Your adoring little baby angel
~Abby

Dragonheart & Merlin said...

Wow, what a horrible experience with the water. Your poor, poor mom.

Billy is very silly to stand in the human litterbox. Our humans always keep the lids down, and the doors to the human litterbox rooms closed, because they don't want anything to happen to us in there.

Vishus deer is very yummy, isn't it? Now you see why we both love eating it so much. We don't think vishus deer are very vishus, since we eat them all the time!

Eric and Flynn said...

You must all be eggsawstid after your weekend.
Hehe we fink Billy must be nuts standing in the human litterbox. Even though we both love water, we haf never done that.

Gandalf & Grayson said...

Wowie, that's a lot of weekend! We're glad you got a new water heater and cleared stuff out. Mom should take a lesson and clean stuff out before the water heater breaks. It's the only appliance that hasn't been replaced since she bought this house.

Billy, you are a little bit strange! We do not like wet paws!

TT said...

Dat's alot to happen in only a few short squillion days. I hopes that things have calmed downs enough for you's all.

Mickey said...

Jeepers!!! That was a wild weekend! I an glad it was fixed cause you don't want to take swimming lessons!! Well,maybe Bill does :o
Beans just don't understand that when we hide we will NOT come out or let them see where we are;) We just watch them look for us,heehee
Mom lafed and ;affed when she saw the words brussels sprouts !! She knew what was comming! Good thing its warm so you can open the windows! Yup,Bill will make a great Mancat!!!
Purrs Mickey

Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

Man oh man oh man! Your mommy really did have a sucky weekend. Sounds like our daddy's theory of bad things happening was at work ... "If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all". Hope the week is less stressful for mommy!
Purrs and headbutts,
Sabrina, Sam and Simon

FrecklesandDeb said...

We don't know where to begin either! You had a really bad weekend. Your poor mom -- all that water. Hope you are good to her this week!

On the other hand, sounds like you had some good food! Maybe it wasn't so bad afterall!

Christine and FAZ said...

That things about the human litter boxes is a good idea, I use ours even if the humans are around. I think the water tastes rich and fruity. FAZ

Chance said...

I styl donna gets it. Wats in da human litterbox dat mayks da Billy wet? Iz not uhlowd ta efur see in da human boxie cuz Mommie alwayz closes its. I tawt it had litters in its lyk myn duz. She sed she uzes sumfing called bweeeech (wif I tawt waz her litter bwand) dat iz no gud fur kittehs an woofies ta gets in to. Gess Iz gonna hasta twy harder ta fygur its owt.

Christine and FAZ said...

Quaking all over. FAZ

Princess said...

What a week-end

Rocky, Angie & S'more said...

Holy smokes, you guys! That was quite a weekend. We hopes your Mommy can relax a bit this week.

Our Mommy keeps the human litterbox lids down 'acause she's afraid we will drown! Mommy is sooooooo weird sometimes.......(actually ALL the time!).

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

What a horrible weekend for your momma. But we are glad she is putting a positive spin on getting rid of the ruined stuff.
Silly Billy. Pretty soon he won't be able to fit in the human litterbox, so that will solve itself!
We remember the Africa debacle too, and our mom leaves the lid on the downstairs potty open all the time too, for that very reason!
Here's hoping for a peaceful week!

Riley & Tiki said...

What an awful day! We hope you have a better week!

The Furry Kids said...

Your poor mom! We hope nothing too important got water damage.

Sammy, I understand about strangers. They are just so strange. I don't like it.

EG likes to play in the toilet, too. hee hee But that's our secret ok? hee hee

Love,
Tazo

Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

OMC!!!!!!!!! You guys have had a crazy weekend indeed!!! I'm so sorry your Mommy had to bail out the house, my humans had to do that last year and it SUCKED. Maybe one of our THREE extra wasted water heaters in our basement might go away. The Toy Man is lazy and won't get rid of them. Anyhow- standing in the litterbox???!! Wow! I think you should just let the faucet drip that's how we get lots of water and its really fresh. The Toy Man is crazy about making sure we don't fall in the toilet bowl so its always closed. I say leaky faucets rock!!

Latte
(I missed you guys!!!)

HotMBC said...

Oh gosh. Yep, yoo all needs a baycayshun now. Wanna come ofur to our house???
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs n nosekissies,
yore girlfriendcat Sanjee

Daisy said...

What a wild and crazy weekend you all had! We have had a flood before and it was No Fun. I'm glad you got your water heater fixed already.

Bill is one silly-billy to stand in the human litterbox! AND to eat brussels sprouts. Yuck!

Junior said...

Wow! That is some weekend you had!

Sammy-don't scare your Mom like that.

I hope you all snuggled your Mom and purred really good for her...I am sure she needed it!

Bill-you are funny!

Cecil the Cougar: said...

OH, what a weekend! Sammy you should not hid from Mommie she will have a heart attacks! This is similar to what happens when we sees a vishus deer looking at us and drooling! And Billy you are so silly! Standing in the human litter box is very very very silly!

Cecilia, The 2Bs & Madness said...

Wow, you guys certainly had an exciting weekend. We think Billy is hilarious.

The Furry Bambinos said...

Your poor Mom! That doesn't count as having a weekend. It sounds like efurryone was furry stressed by the whole ordeal.

Heh. Seems like poetic justice though that you like the vishus deer food so much!

Padre, Panda Bear, and Meerkat

Kellie The Orange Cat said...

Wow, you had one crazy weekend! I hope your week improves.

Billy is so funny! I can't believe he stands in the human litter box, that is really funny!

Victor Tabbycat said...

OF COURSE an 18-year old water heater is under warranty. Right!

Tabbymom here: We rented and had water heater trouble, so they came and fixed it. Then it broke again and when I called, landlady said "No way, that's a new water heater. I had them replace it last time". No, it had grease pencil on it saying elements replaced 10 years before! It turns out, she called HomeOwner 1 to pay for a water heater but installed it in HomeOwner 2's house. Now she had to get HomeOwner 2 to pay for a new water heater for HomeOwner 1's house. She wasn't a very good landlady.

Victor Tabbycat said...

PS Billy. Is. Weird.

The Devil Dog said...

Wow! That was one wild weekend. Mom is glad that it was not her, bu then again, that happened to her years ago. So mom knows all about what your mom went through. As for broccoli poots, it must be a cat thing. I DO NOT poot after eating broccoli. I have that on good authority.

Roxy

Hope your next couple of days are quiet and boring. And tell Bill to stay out of the human litterbox! Silly cat.

Jimmy Joe said...

Oh, wow. Your poor momma. Lots of water in the basement makes Beans get very stressed, I know. I hope she gets an easy week after that. I think you're right, buddies, your brother Bill might be the weirdest cat in the whole wide world. I hope he stays downwind.
Your buddy, Jimmy Joe

DaisyMae Maus said...

Oh ... water heaters can be so tempermental. When ours broke, it flooded the yard 'cuz ours is half in Mom's closet an' half outside (we don't have a basement). Mom had to pay for all of the repairs an' stuff 'cuz we don't have a "landlord" (or any other kingly types for that matter).

Billy is nuts to eat Brussels sprouts. Those are stinky. Eeeewww. Mom dislikes 'em so much that we never have 'em in our house.

An' Sammy ... NO MORE HIDING!

DMM

Camie's Kitties said...

Goodness Gracious. What a wild weekend. We hope you have a much better week ahead. We had a flood in our house last year. We had a pipe break in our floor that ended up climbing into the wall and making it all stinky in there. Our house was torn apart for weeks.

As for Billy and the water and the Brussel Sprouts - we have no idea what to say about that - he is just weird (but cute).

Tiki, Tavi, Cody and Camie

Jan's Funny Farm said...

All we can say is, what a nightmare of a weekend. We hope everything is dried out and your mom has buried her bad words in one of the litter boxes. We're glad Sammy is not lost, only temporarily misplaced. (We do that to Jan too.) And Bill, whatever are you doing in the human litterbox? Ugh!

Tesla said...

wat a gud report. i like reading it. One tim dad bean left da seat up, and i went to jump on it to jump to da sink, and den, mommeh walked in and i was stucked wif meh feetz all stretched tryin not to fall in...

I was so scared...

now, i jus jump right to sink...

Forty Paws said...

Holy Crapola! We haf nefer herd ov a kitten quite so strange as yur Billy!!! Wowee!

Sorry to heer all dat bad stuff happened to yur Mommy dis last weekend! We send her hugs & purrs.

Luf, Us

Maureen said...

What a wild weekend!

3. - That's why you stay away from a wet kitten!

How is Sammy doing?

SAMMY You all know that I has cancer on mine tummy, and that the mom is struggling to find a way to make it better for me.  After many tal...