OH. MY. CAT. What a wild weekend here at chez Meezer. Let's get started:
1. The WHAT THE (insert werd from my bad werd list)?? report
Saturday morning mommy wented down to the dungeon to do some laundry and she started SCREAMING!! so, 'acourse we all hadded to go 'vestigate, even though Sammy is the only one allowed in the dungeon ('acause he talks to "the One Who Came Before" down there were only Sammy can see him) and HOLY (another werd from the bad werd list). There was water EVERYWHERE!!! I mean EVERYWHERE!!! So mommy called the landlord who called the repairbean who called Mommy and said "well, I'll be ofur Sunday to see what's wrong". More bad werds. Mommy started mopping and sweeping (and we doesn't haf a "sumppump" on our side of the townhouse, it's next door, and Miss Bonnie was not home!!). Mopping and sweeping and mopping and sweeping and screaming about boxes and stuff being ruint. She finally gotted the water down to a level where it was not ofur her shoes (about a squillion hours later) (ok, or 4 hours), and she wented upstairs. She wented down a hour later the water was back up ofur her shoes!! She finally finded out where the water was coming from - the hot water thingy springed a leak from the top and was pouring ofur the side. So, she turned the water off to the hot water heater and IT WAS STILL POURING OUT THE TOP! So she hadded to turn ALL the water off in the house. And she called the landlord again who called the repair bean who said he would be ofur in 3 hours (he lives a hour away). She telled him what was wrong and HE DIDN'T BRING ANOFUR WATER HEATER WIF HIM! (ok, blame the landlord for that, he wanted to know if a 18 year old water heater was still unner somefing called a "warranty" mommy laffed and laffed!) But the repair bean fixed the pipes so that we could haf water Saturday night and he was here early Sunday morning wif a brand new water heater. She FINALLY gotted the water all sweeped away and now she has to lug ruint stuff out to the trash this week. Oh well, she saided that she needed to get rid of stuff if we invoke the M-werd, so this forced her to do it. WHEW.
2. The Stranger report by Sammy
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! AAACCCKKKKKKK!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Mommy, I is sorry that I maded you scream my name for 2 hours after the repair bean lefted, and then again for anofur 2 hours after you gotted home from your errands. I didn't mean to make you cry and scream and think I excaped from the hosue and was losted. I cannot tell you where I was hiding 'acuase then you would know to look there in the fuchur. But, I will try and come out sooner so that you doesn't cry all ofur me and get my furs wet when I finally come out.
3. The "Mystery is Solved" report - By Miles
Ok, now we know why Billy is wet all the time. For those of you who guessed that he swims in the human litterbox, you was mostly right.
He stands in it.
Yes, you read that right. He STANDS in the human litter box.
4. The FOODS report
Ok, foods for the last week included: ham, steak, venison burger (OH. MY. CAT. that was DEE-LISH-US. Who knew that vishus deers tasted so good??), eggs, and cheese. and BACON.
Billy would like to add that Brussels Sprouts is good foods. Sammy, the begetable lover won't even touch them. Mommy would like to report that you should NEFUR let your kitty eat brussels sprouts. The poots is werse than broccoli. I would like to report that Billy is the strangest kitten in the whole werld.
That is the Meezer Monday Miles Report for today. I needs a nap.