An Open Letter to the lady who calls herself Mother
Re: Morning Skritch Time
Dear Lady who calls herself Mother
What the heck is up with the "I can't stand here and sktrich your butt all day" attitude you haf adopted lately? Get your hiney out of bed earlier to attend to my needs woman! If I don't get my solid 15 minutes of butt skritches (and the kind that make me arch my back and tip over) then I am crabilated all day. If you would like to come home to less whappage, then you know what you haf to do.
Samuel Alfonse Meezer