Monday, August 31, 2009

an interruption to Dancing with Billy Tuesday

Hey efurryone! Thursday starts the Hams of the Werld Tour 2009. We is all teleporting to Auntie Deb’s house and then we is taking the WEINER MOBILE to Smith-fields ham place and chowing down!!! Then we will all climb back in the weiner mobile and go to where Mr Hendrix lives and take a sight seeing tour of “Porkopolis” on Friday! Then back in the weiner mobile to get to Skittles’ house on Monday for yoga and a ham fest! Tuesday it’s off to London and the Smith-field meat market and a visit to our furriends that live across the pond!

Victor Tabbycat and Miles Meezer will be your tour guides.

There will be opportunity to purchase hand made nip hams to raise money for sick and financially strapped kitties. We hopes to raise a lot of money! And we hopes to haf a LOT of kitties and woofies and buns on the tour wif us!!!

Meezer Monday Miles Report


Here is the Meezer Monday Miles Report

The BIG NOOS! Report: Mine bud Victor and me camed up wif a idea for a cat blogosphere road trip!! This Thursday is going to be the HAMS OF THE WERLD tour!!!! We is going to all meet at Auntie Deb and the Taylor Catsssss house and then teleport ofur to Smith-field Ham and haf a tour and eat some hams, and then go to LONDON to go to the Smith-field Meat Market! And we 'acided to sell some stuffs for a fund raiser! HAMS OF THE WERLD TOUR sherts! We is werking on a logo (if'n you wants to submit ideas or help wif grafiks we would 'presheate it). We is also trying to figure out where to sell the stuff so that we would get the mostest money for sick kitties. we doesn't want to haf to pay lots of fees or haf most of the cost go to the store. We will haf more informashun tomorrow.

The EWWWWW report: So, Saturday night the mom hadded to go out to get some headache pills and when she gotted home she saw a HUGE spider in the car! It hadded black and brown striped legs and a big white bubble/bump on its back. Then it disappeared. She cried and screamed and emptied out the car and looked efurrywhere and could not find it. she looked saturday night and Sunday. on Sunday when she opened the back door, there was a cob web so she thinks it's still there somewhere. so she tored the car apart again and it could not find it. she's scairt to drive the car.

The Foods report: Well, we hadded bacon, ribs, chick-hen and eggs. (Sammy's food report: AND CORN LEAVES!!!!)

and now here is the weird corn leaf eating weirdo Sammy with the Alien Report: HOLY BAST!! It was like a alien CONVENSHUN outside this morning! Lots of noise and they was all out there hollering to each other. I think something BIG is brewing. Back to you lardo.

Uh, yeah. you keep looking out the door whacko.

The What Did Billy Do To Get in Trouble This Weekend Report: - let's see, again with the running out side. that's getting old dude. other than that he was pretty good this week.

Today is Billy's OFFISHUL purrfday - so HAPPY PURRFDAY little dude!!!!

That is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today

Sunday, August 30, 2009

1pm is party time!!!

1pm is the time that you can all party wif ME!!!!!!!

Here is where you go: the password is sweetfeets!!!!

ME will haf all kinds of foods, (shrimps, lobsters, crabs, hams, porks, cows, begetables for mine begetable-tarians) and drinks (milk for the youngins, bloo toona gizzys, meowgaritas, niptinis, niparitas, and lots of other stuffs). And lots and lots of stuffs to play wif and on!!!! WOOOO HOOOOOOO

Friday, August 28, 2009

Finally Friday


ME is hafing mine 2nd purrfday chatzy pawty on Sunday. YAY!!! ME invites ALL OF EFURRYONE to come and PLAYPLAYPLAY and DANCEDANCEDANCE and PARTYPARTYPARTY wif ME.

ME will post the chatzy link on Sunday.

Pawty starts at 1pm Eastern Daylight Time.



Thursday, August 27, 2009

You've GOT to be kidding


What does you mean that you losted my brush?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I needs my brush. FIND IT.

No, I cannot help you look. I'm feeling dizzy and faint. I think I needs to lay down and take a nap.

this is furry disturbin.

Oh, and NO I did NOT whap it somewhere.

(at least I doesn't think I did)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wednesday Rant


Deer The Mom

what does you mean that I am to "big" to lay on your chest while you is werking on your laptop? I haf done this since I was a bitty baby, and I haf not changed. I think that your chest has shrinked alot.

And please stop groaning when I stand on your chest. It makes me feel bad.

Yours trooly
Miles Meezer

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Sing along with Billy SweetFeets


This one is great for singing and pretty good for dancing. At least my mom lady person was up and grooving and hollering (oh she says singing - could have fooled me).

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report


Here is the Meezer Monday Miles Report for today

The Foods Report - chick-hen, bbq pork (wifout the bbq sauce) and peach cobbler (wif ice cream)

The What Did Billy Do to Get In Trouble This Week Report - let's see: front door escapes - at least 15. Back Door escapes: about 10. Toe bites - oh at least 20. Head whapping - a few times. tossing stuff in the bubble box - well, that's not getting in trouble - he and the mom lady person play games so he can splash her and she can splash him.

The Alien Report - but our resident whack job Sammy: Thank you lard-o. Well, the girl bean is STILL missing from 'ahind our house. The mom says she's staying wif her grampie all summer on his farm, but I still think that bouncy alien ate her. I haf also not seen the ginger cats that live there either. (note from the mom: They usually go walking with her when she walks the d........ er, alien, but it's been too hot for them to go out). Back to you porkpot.

er, thanks lame brain.

The grampie report: Grampie is "holding his own". Um, I don't think I want to know what he's holding. He has a nurse come see him and grammie and he's starting to get moving again so hopefully he will start feeling better soon. The mom says he has to haf oxygen all the time now. well DUH. we ALL haf to haf oxygen the mom! Sheesh . how stoopid is you??

That is the meezer monday miles report for today.

Oh, wait we haf one more report

The Billy SweetFeets 2nd purrfday party report - we will be hafing a purrfday party starting at 1pm EDT on Sunday August 30, one day 'afore the orange menace's purrfday. It will be a chatzy party. We hopes you can all attend.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Finally Friday


I really really really think that the alien 'ahind our house ate the girlbean that lives there. we has not seen her all summer! She used to come out and play wif her alien and the alien next door, but she hasn't. I's furry scairt efurrytime our the mom goes ofur there to get bounced on by that alien. I haf nefur seen a alien bounce like that eifur - it just stands on it's back legs and bounces up and down and up and down and up and down for hours on end (the mom: maybe 2 or 3 minutes at a time).

In ofur noos, we had loud boomies last night but our the mom would not wake up, so I had to lay on her face to get her to wake up. When she waked up the boomies stopped. it was kind of like majik. Now I has to 'amember to lay on her face efurrytime there's boomies.

Oh, and I scored a great whap last night too, I managed to whap a magazine off my big windowsill in the human litterbox room - right into the human soaking box where the mom was soaking in the bubbles. SCORE!!!!!!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thursday Thirteen


ME is doing Thirteen Things ME loves to do

*. Bite Miles' tail
2. Play in the place where nekkid beans sit in water
6. RUN OUTSIDE (ME loves to haf the Mom Lady Person chase me and holler)
B. play wif woofies
3. sleep in MY ham-mick
t. chase Sammy and Miles out of the tents
7. Play wif my star chaser
@. go in the cabinets whenefur the Mom Lady Person opens them.
p. Sit 'ahind the mom lady person on the cowch and slap her head wif my tail
5. go runrunrun and then JUMP and hang on the curtain on the big slidy door.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Whapping and Whiner Wednesday


um, HEY! The Mom!!! Whiner?? it's 'posed to be RANTING Wednesday!! i RANT, i doesn't WHINE. So now I will rant about the lack of consider-a-shun around here. How come you nefur consult me when you make the shopping list? If you did, you would not come home wif 8 pounds of broccoli (so what if Sammy and Billy like it, I doesn't) or 5 pouns of onions. also, if you had consulted wif me, we would not haf a garden wif hot peppers and kyukumbers or tomatoes, we would haf a pig in the back yard. oh, AND we would not haf a air condishuner AND a fan in the sleeping room at night. yeah yeah yeah, you've been hot hot hot all your life. We has FUR and we is freezing all night! Sheesh!!! and Oh, we're all sorry about laffin and laffin at you this morning when you walked into the wall and stubbed all of your toes. HAHAHAHA. oh, sorry.


So, I gotted way up on the china cabinet and whapped the stuff off of there the other day. oh it was PAWSOME!!!! and the mom was just a few feets away sitting there in her drunken,,,,,,,,,,, er............ tired stooper. She flew off the cowch and started yelling and then looked up and was shocked! She said somefing about me being too fat to get up there, but sheesh, I'm the LIGHTEST cat in the house. The china cabinet makes a great place to hide.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report


::looking through notebook and day planner:: Oh HI! Welcome to the Meezer Monday Miles report. Here is the report for today:

The Foods Report: Well, according to The Mom, it's "too freaking hot to eat". Which just goes to prove that she is BLOODY INSANE. How is that even possible? I did manage to snag some sir-loin by continually slapping it with my paw while it was on her plate. This tek-neeke does not really work well for all foods as I managed to slap some beet juice at one point and it tasted nasty.

The What Has Billy Done To Get in Trouble This Week Report: Lets see, there was the fan and cat tree being knocked over one day, and the wet paw prints all over the bathroom another day, and the freaking sneaking out the door eleventy five squillion times. He really really makes The Mom mad when he does that. She unnerstands that he was feral and lifed outside for 6 months, but he's not feral anymore and he is WAAAAAAAAAAY too trusting and he could get really hert. He doesn't want to hear this - he LOVES all woofies and kitties and beans and doesn't unnerstand that there are woofies that doesn't like kitties, and kitties that doesn't like other kitties and beans that could be mean beans. 'asides, he KNOWS that he's only 'llowed outside wif his harniss.

The Alien Report - by resident whack job Sammy: Thank you fatty fatty two by four. The alien report for this week - 'parently aliens are affected by the hots too as they has not been out so much. The alien 'ahind us continues to bounce all the time when she is out. I think she ate the younger bean in her house as we have not seen the girl bean since school ended.
Back to you lardo.

Thank you Sammy you loona-tik.

The Grampie report: well the grampie camed home from the bean hospital on Friday. He cannot take the medi-k-shuns that maded his heart werk right 'acuase then it started doing damage to his heart. We doesn't know what the next steps are at this point, so please say a purrayer for our grampie.

The "it will be Billy's 2nd purrfday at the end of the monf" report. We is going to haf a party on the 30th, the day 'afore Billy's purrfday. It will be a chatzy party so stay tuned for details.

This concludes the Meezer Monday Miles Report.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Finally Friday


It's finally FRIDAY and this weekend we will be............. uh, hold on, the Mom Lady Person is yapping in my ear.

What does you want Mom Lady Person? ME is trying to blog!!!!

What? Did ME know about what? How the fan gotted tipped ofur? How our cat tree play thing gotted tipped ofur?

um. NO. ME doesn't know anyfing about that. Ask Sammy. He's the one that whaps stuff.

Oh, you DID ask Sammy and he saided to ask ME? Why that no good lying sneaky little meezer, he's just trying to get ME in t-r-o-u-b-l-e. He's mean and sneaky and a liar.

Oh, Hai Sammy! No, ME was not talking about YOU being sneaky and a liar. ME was talking about MILES being like that.

Oh, Hai Miles! No, ME was not talking about YOU being sneaky and a liar. ME was saying that The Mom Lady Person is stirring up trouble and trying to get us all to be mad at each other. She's nasty and a liar.

What? The fan and the cat tree play thing? oh yeah, 'amember when ME used the litterbox and then ran around the house hollering ME POOPED AND IT STINKS right 'afore the Mom Lady Person gotted home? ME prolly knocked those things ofur then. 'amember when the Mom Lady Person camed in the house and gagged from the smell coming from upstairs? that was funny right? yeah, it was. ME was laffin and laffin. ME forgotted about the fan and cat tree play thing.

What MLP? Crap, you hearded me? Sorry!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO put me down!! ME is big boy!!! STOPPPPPPPPPPPPP. NOOOOOOOOOO............ oooooooo ceiling fan cords! ::reaches out to whap cords:: ME loves these!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thankful Thursday


Today we are thankful that so far Grampie's treatment is werking!!!!!

We is also thankful to haf knowed Charlie Taylor - who wented to the Bridge yesterday. We cannot say goodbye to you friend, so we will just say
Until we meet at the Bridge.......................

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

hello, the mom?


um hello? the mom? ::taps head:: - look, you're making strange loud noises sitting there with your chin in your chest. what the heck is wrong wif you? ::taps head:: HELLO???? ARE YOU IN THERE???? um the mom!!!!!!!!!! Look, if you're just going to sit there wif your chin in your chest and foods on your plate on your lap I'm just going to help myself to, ok??

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Dancing Tuesday with Bill SweetFeets

BILLY SweetFeets

ME is dedicating this to our grampie. He is going into the hospital today to take some medikshuns to try and make his heart beat right. the other fing they didded to him did not werk. This is his favorite kind of musik and ME likes this dancing. ME and grampie haf lots in common ::nods head::

Monday, August 10, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report


HEY! Someone turn off the farkin weather radio! It's been bleeping all farkin day!!! SHEESH!! I can SEE that it's raining and I can HEAR the boomies. AHHHHH

Oh, HAI! Welcome to the Meezer Monday Miles Report for today

The Weather report - so, we had such a big boomie today that the mom thought somefing 'asploded outside. We hadded LOTS of rain Sunday. and LOTS of boomies. And the HOTS.

The Foods Report - thank you all for your concern that our the mom is a horrible the mom and trying to starve us. Really, I heard her tell the orange menace that he's too fat and needs to lose weight. I think she's trying to kill us. BUT, I gotted some chick-hen and some pork. and Sammy gotted his crunchies.

The What Did Bill do to get in trouble this week report: Lets see, he escaped about eleventy nine squillion times. The Mom now calls him Who-dee-knee. I haf NO idea why. Oh, and he almost broked the mom's new glasses the ferst day she hadded them.

The Alien Report. by Sammy "Whacko" Meezer - the junior alien was next door almost all week. He doesn't haf to wear a collar and leash. The big alien next door does. OH, and one of the aliens on the other side of us runned away wif a leash attached and the mom saided that the alien warden finded him about 1/4 mile away stuck in the swamp. he hadded to haf been stuck there for about 2 days. He's a furry nasty alien but we feeled bad for him 'acuase he must haf been really scairt for all that time. and his mom and dad were 500 miles away on bay-k-shun. He was a bad alien and ran away from the alien sitter. There's a job I doesn't want - alien sitter. And the alien 'ahind us spented most of the week bouncing. up and down. up and down. up and down. all day long. I think it's some sort of alien ritual dance.
Back to you pork-pot.

Uh, thank you loony toons.

That it the meezer monday miles report for today.

::SIGH:: - more bad weather? HEY! THE MOM!!! Watch out for flooding when you're driving to werk!!!!

Friday, August 07, 2009



HEY!!! THE MOM!!!!! Yeah, YOU! THE MOM!!!!! I was just in the foods cabinet poking around and you DO know it's EMPTY right? I mean, there's NO crunchy foods in there. Yeah, I knows that I haf a big bowl of it for today, but after that........ ::shudder::

HEY! Orange menace!! Yeah YOU! Get away from my crunchies!!! Those haf to last at least 3 sleeps until the Mom gets home wif more!!!!

Yeah you're right - just go pass out from hunger somewhere!!! I think I will too.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Wednesday Rant



An Open Letter to The Mom

Deer The Mom

Where's the beef? or chick-hen? or pig?or bacon? or HAM? I'd efen settle for a piece of bologna! How come you is eating begetables all the time? Come on, I'm STARVING!!!!!!

Either you start serving MEAT or I will be slapping you in the face efurry 30 seconds while you sleep.

Miles "Poosie-man" Meezer

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Dancing Tuesday With Billy SweetFeets

BILLY SweetFeets

Oh oh oh oh oh. This dance is FUN FUN FUN!! Stomping feets, twirling around and ME wants the REALLY COOL SHOES!!!

Monday, August 03, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report


I NEED A 'BAMALANCE!!!! Our The Mom TRIED TO KILL ME. She slammed my tail in a door!!! SHE WAS TRYING TO KILL ME.


Sheesh Drama Queen, calm down. She did NOT try and kill you. Why was your tail sticking in the door when you KNOWED that she was closing it?


Look whacko, attempted cat-acide is attempted cat-aside and she should be arrested!!!


Uh, if she goes to jail, who will FEED your fat butt?


Uh, good point. I think that I'll just ignore her.

Update on us

SAMMY I had a v-e-t appointment last week and the v-e-t is kind of werried 'acause i might haf another skin cancer starting.  she will...