Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Wednesday Rant

SAMMY

For Sale: One slightly used seal point siamese cat.  Ugly. Male. Overweight.  Hips like a girl.  cries like a girl when he is attacked.  Yaks up all foods unless they are gluten and dye free.   Total Mamma's boy.  Needs several hours a day of ego stroking and kissy face time.  Requires at least 100 pounds of ham a week.  Or, well, a few slices here and there.  Will put his paws in your food if you do not eat at the table.  Will try and slap food off your fork.  Answers only to Miles or Poosie.  Don't even think of renaming him.  Asking $0.02 OBO.  Leave message for Sam.  Only serious offers will be considered. 

ok, really, we'll take any offer. 

MILES

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.  Sammy stole my Wednesday Rant post.  HEY! STOP PETTING HIM!!! STOP IT!! HE'S MEAN!!! MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM COME ON! STOP IT. 

Free to a good home: One mean human. Female. Old.  Untrainable.  Stupid.  Insane.  Always sick.  No idea why anyone would want to have her. 

28 comments:

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I'd list all of woo on eBay!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra & Khousin Merdie

Cheysuli and gemini said...

I'll offer on the cat. I can trade you a puffy little tabby?

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh you meezer boys!!!

smiles, auntie bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sweet Praline said...

You Meezers don't realize how good you have it!

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Yuu-Chan said...

Miles, they clearly don't deserve you!

The Paw Relations said...

Can we throw our mum in the sweeten the deal?

Karen Jo said...

Sammy, Miles, cut it out. You both know that you have the best home in the whole wide world. Love and scritches to both of you.

Furkidsmom said...

We'll add our woofies if you think it would help!


Sniffie and the Florida Furkids

Maggie May said...

MOL!!! Have you tried craigslist?

Eric and Flynn said...

Would you consider a straight swap for a big ginger lard butt?
Flynn.

The Island Cats said...

If you want, we'll give you Zoey and we'll take Miles! May not be a fair trade 'cuz that girl is a she devil!

Wally & Ernie

momsbusy said...

i would love to relieve sammy of his misery of having to put up with everyone (humans included) by whisking him away to our house. we have aliens here for him to observe and other cats w/ peculiar habits. i will start my offer w/ 5 bags of temptations and a package of sliced ham. i'll throw in a couple of catnip toys too. ;^)

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Hey, momsbusy has thrown in a sweet offer. We would suggest you take it but we think you should each consider your options. You'd miss each other if you were separated. And we love you all, so we hope you won't sell each other.

Ariel said...

Ariel's mom-I'll trade you one sassy girl torti with a rebel attitude.Who never comes when she's called.Who breaks all nick knacks.Who bites all ankles of strangers.

Ariel... Mom what are you writing?

Mom... Nothing Sweetie go relax.

Ariel...(Whispering)Useless I oughta
sell her.

Amy and The House of Cats said...

Wow it sounds like it is a rough day over there! We hope things get better - it is really tough to sell a used cat who needs 100 lbs of ham a week - that is a lot of ham!

chezcat1970 said...

Mama says she'll take Miles, but you can't have any of her kitties! Thanks mom, we think!

Busby and Raymond said...

We'll take Miles if you throw in the human for free.

TK said...

Sammy, be nice to your brother!
Pssst- Miles, ummm if you give mommy away who will open the gushie food, and the hams and the other noms? I'm just saying...
TK

Jacqueline said...

You silly boys; you would miss each other terribly!!...And your Mom, who would take care of you, love on you, give you Ham?????...We think it's time for some cuddling apologies all around...xo...Calle, Halle, Sukki

The Kool~Kittie~Krew said...

MOL!!! You guys are so silly. We hear Craig's List is a big hit these days...just sayin'

Junior and Orion said...

You two behave! Sheesh!!! You got a good thing going, enjoy it silly guys.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Yoo guys better stop it! Yoor brofurs fur gosh sakes, what would yoo do wifout each other and yoor mom! Who would open da stinky goodness, who would rub ears and make yoo feel good. Please stop, yoor making Sadie cry...

Gandalf, Grayson, Whitey and Gracie said...

Sammy... have you considered the 'big picture'? If the MLP is gone, who will give you foods and scoops your poops? Or help you blog?

ABBY said...

Boyz boyz boyz can't we all git along?

purrs and nosekisses to my sweet handsome floofy cocoapuffs meezerman
your adorin tiny tuxie princess
Abby

The Meowers from Missouri said...

we likes yer new blog background, an' in honor of st paddy's day, we finks you shuld all take a few swigs o' mither's milk an' mellow out!

Derby, Ducky said...

No I don't think I would buy Miles. Or trade the runt for him. I am slowly getting him trained.

Derby

William said...

I GOT IT!! We should start a new TV show--CAT SWAP! I think Caroline would trade Russell for Miles in a heartbeat!

Ayla and Iza, said...

I am interviewin replacements fer yla. She cant keep up wif me. A male meezer would be acceptable...

Iza

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