Twas the Night before Meezer Christmas Poem
All the Meezers were stirring, er, all through the house.
The stockings were flung on the floor without care,
Some Meezers had been looking for presents in there.
The Orinch Meniss was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of outdoors danced in his head.
And the mom in her tank top and ugly pink shorts,
Had just settled her brains for a long winter’s snork.
When down in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
She sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairs she didn't fly like a flash,
More like a turtle, she's not very fast.
The tree lights shone on the carpet below
An eerie white color and the mom said OH NO.
She hollered very loudly what's going on down there?
Three little voices said "nothing mommy dear"
She saw meezer shadows, running around in the light,
she thought to herself, it's the f*&^^%ing middle of the night!!
More rapid than beagles they started their game,
Then she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Miles! now, Sammy! now, Nicholas FuzzyPants!
Come on Poosie! Come on, Squishy! Gosh Darn it Nickypants!
To the top of the buffet! up on the wall!
don't make me come down there or there's trouble for all!"
As wild snowflakes in hurricane type winds fly,
ah, there's nothing to rhyme with this phrase by the by.
So back to the kitchen they ran pretty quick ,
except that they tripped poor little Nick.
And then it happened, she heard a little cry
oh now what are they doing to that poor little guy.
She looked around for a robe or some socks on the ground,
then the Orinch Meniss came out with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
uh, he's a cat, seriously, isn't that how he should look?
He looked down the stairs and was taken aback,
He hollered in horror OH MY GOSH WHAT THE FRACK?
His eyes-didn't twinkle, his dimples weren't merry!
His cheeks cheeks puffed out and he turned red like a berry!
His mouth, how it spouted a string of bad werds
His little chin quivered, "how could they, those terds"
He ran down the stairs two or three at a time,
His little ears steaming, hollering the whole time.
He ran to the kitchen, and stopped on a dime,
His little belly, it still jiggled for quite a long time!
He was crabby and whiney and hollered alot,
You were supposed to wake me up so I could stir the big pot!
Each little meezer hugged him and said,
you looked so cute and happy all tucked into bed.
The Orinch Meniss forgave them and went straight to his werk,
And stirred the big pot, then turned with a jerk.
He wrinkled up his nose and said kind of curtly,
This surely will make her all gassy and blurpy!
The smell it did waft all the way up the stairs,
The mom plugged her nose and said "ah, well who cares"
They mean it with love I think, and that's all right,
"Merry Christmas my boys, and have a good night!"