Monday, December 26, 2011

Meezer Monday Miles Report


Here is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today:

The Foods Report - PRIME RIB for chrissymouse dinner!!!

The What did Billy do report - he ranned out in the muddy backyard and then HADDED TO HAF A BAF. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The What did Nicky do report-  he moved out of the christmas tree finally.

The whack whack job report from whacko Sammy - I was just sitting there looking out the slidy door window thinking that it's been kind of quiet and then WHAM!! Some little alien comes running up to the door hollering and running in circles.  I haf NO idea what he wanted but I ranned to the bedroom and ranned unner the bed.  Cause if the mother ship was coming to get him I did not want to be in the way.  Back to you butter butt.

Well, the mom is going to FLORIDA with grammie to visit daddy.  SOOOO we may not be around too much this week.  OH, and our the mom, who has been a techie for like ever, DELETED ALL OUR PIKSHURS of our secret paws.  so we will have to post them later.  What a dope.

Friday, December 23, 2011

the night before a meezer christmas

It's nicky's gotcha day too!!!! Happy Gotcha Day!!!

Twas the Night before Meezer Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
All the Meezers were stirring, er, all through the house.
The stockings were flung on the floor without care,
Some Meezers had been looking for presents in there.

The Orinch Meniss was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of outdoors danced in his head.
And the mom in her tank top and ugly pink shorts,
Had just settled her brains for a long winter’s snork.

When down in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
She sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairs she didn't fly like a flash,
More like a turtle, she's not very fast.

The tree lights shone on the carpet below
An eerie white color and the mom said OH NO.
She hollered very loudly what's going on down there?
Three little voices said "nothing mommy dear"

She saw meezer shadows, running around in the light,
she thought to herself, it's the f*&^^%ing middle of the night!!
More rapid than beagles they started their game,
Then she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Miles! now, Sammy! now, Nicholas FuzzyPants!
Come on Poosie! Come on, Squishy! Gosh Darn it Nickypants!
To the top of the buffet! up on the wall!
don't make me come down there or there's trouble for all!"

As wild snowflakes in hurricane type winds fly,
ah, there's nothing to rhyme with this phrase by the by.
So back to the kitchen they ran pretty quick ,
except that they tripped poor little Nick.

And then it happened, she heard a little cry
oh now what are they doing to that poor little guy.
She looked around for a robe or some socks on the ground,
then the Orinch Meniss came out with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
uh, he's a cat, seriously, isn't that how he should look?
He looked down the stairs and was taken aback,
He hollered in horror OH MY GOSH WHAT THE FRACK?

His eyes-didn't twinkle, his dimples weren't merry!
His cheeks cheeks puffed out and he turned red like a berry!
His mouth, how it spouted a string of bad werds
His little chin quivered, "how could they, those terds"

He ran down the stairs two or three at a time,
His little ears steaming, hollering the whole time.
He ran to the kitchen, and stopped on a dime,
His little belly, it still jiggled for quite a long time!

He was crabby and whiney and hollered alot,
You were supposed to wake me up so I could stir the big pot!
Each little meezer hugged him and said,
you looked so cute and happy all tucked into bed.

The Orinch Meniss forgave them and went straight to his werk,
And stirred the big pot, then turned with a jerk.
He wrinkled up his nose and said kind of curtly,
This surely will make her all gassy and blurpy!

The smell it did waft all the way up the stairs,
The mom plugged her nose and said "ah, well who cares"
They mean it with love I think, and that's all right,
"Merry Christmas my boys, and have a good night!"

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

It's almost Christmas...............

NICHOLAS FUZZYPANTS:  -ooooooooooooo sparkly!!!

You are Multicolored Lights

Your holidays are a time for cheer and excitement.

You love so much about the holidays, and everyone perks up a little from your happiness.

You try to be grateful for what you have this time of the year.

Even if things have been tough, you can't help but be joyful.
Blogthings: We're Not Shrinks, But We Play Them On the Internet

MILES - what kind of WHAT am I? Crappy christmas gift? I'm CRAPPY?  SAMMY I's gonna get you for this.  

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost.

You make a good puppet.
Blogthings: We're Not Shrinks, But We Play Them On the Internet

BILLY SWEETFEETS - ME is the mostest awesomest song EFUR

Your Christmas Song Is "The Twelve Days of a Redneck Christmas"

Twelve-pack of Bud

Eleven Wrastling tickets

Ten o' Copenhagen

Nine years probation

Eight table dancers

Seven packs of Redman

Six cans of Spam

Five flannel shirts

Four big mud tires

Three shotgun shells

Two hunting dogs

... And some parts to a Mustang GT.

You don't think that 27 strings of Christmas lights are tacky

And you swear that eggnog from last year is still good!

You Are Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

You are a natural leader, though sometimes you are reluctant to step up to a leadership role.

You see the world more clearly than most people, and often, you are the only one who can guide others.

People may doubt your talents at first. You tend to be underrated and underappreciated.

But once others see what you are truly capable of, they feel like fools for ever having doubted you.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

It's almost Christmas


It's time for the annual singing of Hammy Smells!!!! Sing along wif me (to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Dashing frough the house
on my four furry feet
mommy's at the cold box
getting me a treat

On my feets I run
For a treat that is YUM YUM
I can't wait to get it
into my tum-tum


Hammy Smells
Hammy Smells
Hammy Smells so fine
and the taste
oh my gosh
it is so deeeeeeeeee-vine

City Ham
Country Ham
dices cubes and slices
salty good
piggy good
tastes better than mices

Monday, December 19, 2011

Meezer Monday Miles Report


Here is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today

The Foods Report - ribs, eggs and sausage. 

The What Did Billy do report - well Billy is grownded twice for life and then another 100 years after that.  He must haf pushed the door open when it was not latched tight when the mom was bringing stuffs in, and it was about 20 minutes 'afore she noticed he was gone.  She wented outside crying and calling his name and he stepped out of the bushes and jumped in her arms.  His feets was cold.  But he was happy he gotted out.  Santy paws should not bring him anyfing. 

The what did Nicky do report - he was living in the tree for a while.  We may or may not get to put dekorashuns on it. 

The whacko whack job report by yogurt head:  Well Miles, I does not haf a lot to report this week,  I've been ignoring the aliens this week and concentrating on being good so that I get lots of presents.  So there poopy head. 

::SIGH:: - name calling is being Bad Sammy. 

That is the Meezer Monday miles report for today

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Mine Letter to Santa

Deer Sandy Claws

Hello, it's me.  I've tried to be a good boy this year, and I've tried to be nicer to mine brofurs and the mom and all, but it's hard. The mom is impossible to train and mine brofurs just nefur lissen.  What is I 'posed to do Sandy Claws?? Sammy says I's getting coal in mine stocking this year 'acause I've been so bad.  I hope not.  But if I do, could you maybe bring me a personal furnace so that I could put that coal to good use? You knows how cold I gets in the winter, so a personal furnace would be nice.  

I would also like it if you could try and find homes for all of the poodins and woofies and others that need homes.  That would be great.  

But mostly, I think that I would like to haf time wif mine the mom.  I does love her, and I loves to pet her face and give her kissies, but that little grey meezer rat is always cutting in on me, and he's so little and cute and i think that the mom loves him more than me.  

Also, lastly, I would like to haf mine own pig.  

Your friend and kind of good boy
Miles Phillippe Meezer

Wednesday, December 14, 2011



HANG ON - WHAT DOES YOU WANT MOM LADY PERSON? Oh, I's sorry for hollering.  But as mine hero Louis says CAPS LOCK IS HOW ME FEELS INSIDE ALL THE TIME!!!  But ok, ME will not holler anymore

So Santy Paws, where was we? Oh, yeah, what ME wants for Catmas.

ME would like for efurry kitty to find a mom lady person like ME did.  All ME had to do was holler and ME gotted a mom lady person and a home.  ME wishes that would happen for all kitties and woofies living on their own.

Sekond, ME would like mine own woofie.  Maybe Maxx can move in wif us? Or maybe ME will get a puppie. 

Thurd, ME would like mine own fleece blankie.  ME LOVES FLEECE BLANKIES!!!!

That is all Santy Paws.  ME hopes you has a nice day



Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Mine Chrissymouse Letter

Deer Santy Paws

Hi Santy Paws!! It's me! You should know me, I's named after you! I was mine mommy chrissymouse present 2 years ago.  Sammy saided I should write you a letter to tell you what I want for Chrissymouse.  But I really doesn't know.  I has efurryfing I need! I has a mommy, and I has foods, and I has toys, and I has a warm bed and I has brofurs . So I guess that mine chrissymouse wish is that all ofur kitties and woofies and homeless furries get to haf mommies and daddies and foods and warm beds, and toys and brofurs and sisfurs. 
I know what I would really really like,  to haf mine head not tilty and mine eyes not jittery, but I knows you can't give me that and mommy says that we all haf crosses to bear, and mine tilty head is mine.  And i doesn't mind it, I runs and plays and stuff ok so efen though it would be nice to see things wifout mine eyes being all jittery and looking at things sometimes almost upside down, i gets along just fine. 

BUT, if you REALLY want to give me somefing, I guess I would like to haf a roll of that plastik yellow caution / police tape (the non sticky kind).  I has a really good idea for what to use it on........................

Monday, December 12, 2011

Meezer Monday Miles Report


Here is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today

The foods report- FRENCH TOAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The What did Billy do report - WHO CARES!! I GOTTED FRENCH TOAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The What did Nicky do report - WHO CARES!! I GOTTED FRENCH TOAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The whacko whack job report from mush brain Sammy - well, ok, the ghosts is rumbling down in the dungeon and the aliens are going crazy outside, and to top it all off, Miles has been running around hollering about friggin french toast for 2 days now.  I has a mygrane and I's about to slap him in a box and ship him somewhere far far away.  But I can't find the phone number for the man in the bloo shorts (and it's cold here, so are the men in the long bloo pants the same guys as the ones in the bloo shorts?).  SHUT UP MILES!!!!  (WHO CARES SAMMY! I GOTTED FRENCH TOAST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  Please, someone, I's BEGGING YOU, please take him away!! I has not sleeped in 2 days.   


That is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today

::scuffle scuffle scuffle::  ::come on Miles, lay down like a good boy, don't werry, i'll cut some air holes in here for you::

::dial dial dial:: hello? is this the man in the long bloo pants?  yes, can you come and pick up a priority box for me? yes, it's going far far away.  Um, I doesn't know how far, I has elebenty twelve dollars, how far will that go? oh, to the end of the street. hmmmmmm, well, that's ok, that's far enough for now.  Great, I'll see you later today.  Thanks.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Mine Chrissymouse letter

Deer Sandy Paws

I haf been a furry good boy this year Sandy Paws.  Not like SOME of the ofur cats in this house.  If I has done anyfing wrong or anyfing like that, it's prolly not mine fault.  SOME of the other cats like to blame efurryfing on me.  Anyway, here is what I would like for Chrissymouse

1.  Ear plugs
2.  a one ton bag of mine favorite crunchy foods - not that crap that some ofur cat has to eat so he won't barf
3.  I wish that all mine sick furriends would be well
4.  I wish that all homeless kitties and woofies will find homes
5.  I wish that the mom would STOP sitting on me in the human litterbox room. 
6.  I wish that the beans would all stop fighting and that efurryone in the werld would be nice to each other. 
7.  A telescope to look for, well, you know
8.  And EMF detektor
9  A visit from either Paranormal State or Ghost Hunters or Ghost Adentureres to check out the dungeon

Sincerely, uh, yours truly, uhhhhhh Love

Sammy Meezer

Wednesday, December 07, 2011



I's NOT WHINEY!!! I just wanted some pro-feshunally cooked french toast to compare it to the mom's.  The mom is a wonderful cook and I think that hers would be better than some chef's but needed to make sure.  I mean look at mine face!! I's innocent!!!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Oh please make it STOP


Deer The Mom

For Bast's Sake - PLEASE make that whiney snivelly boy some freaking FRENCH TOAST!! He has NOT shut up for DAYS about you hafing french toast and not bringing any home to him.  I's BEGGING you - PLEASE make some for dinner or something tonight!!! I can't take much more of this.  If he doesn't shut up I's going to do somefing DRASTIC.  Like find an alien to eat HIM.  Or you know shove him in a box and mail him somewhere. 

Monday, December 05, 2011

Meezer Monday Miles Report


Here is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today:

The Foods Report - well the mom hadded french toast - at a RESTAURANT and DID NOT BRING ANY HOME TO ME.  Meanie. That's like 53 different kinds of wrong.

The What did Billy to report - well Billy ranned up 'ahind Sammy and BITED HIM ON THE BUTT and then Sammy jumped up to the moon and he's stuck there wif the aliens.

The What did Nicky do report - Nicky was good this week.  He didn't whap auntie ellen's stuff.  but he did bite the mom's legs a couple of times.  She does not like that.

Now here is the report from our moon alien Sammy - ::SIGH:: i's NOT on the moon you crazy cream puff.  I was in the kitchen eating the plant.  uh, wait, looking out the window.  The mom still will NOT let me in the dungeon to talk to the ghosts.  I think that she's still moving them around down there.  I think that's what's making them upset.  Also, the aliens outside have been really talkative and I doesn't like that - but maybe the mothership will finally listen to them and come and take them all away.    back to you lard butt. 

The mom's aunt wented to heaven this week to be with grampie and the mom's uncles, so the mom has a sad again.  It's been a furry bad 3 months - ferst her cousin wented to heaven from cancer and she very young, then grampie and now her aunt.  But we knows that they are all together looking over the fambly so that's comforting. 

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Great, NOW what will I do for fun?


Well, the mom FINALLY wented out and buyed the RIGHT crunchy foods.  So now I doesn't have to slap her in the face when she's asleep to let her know how annoyed I am.  So now what should I do for fun in the middle of the night? Suggestions?

Lies about Miles, and things Miles won't do.......... maybe

MILES 1.  I IS NOT FAT  - I'm undertall Q.  I IS NOT A PIGGY - I just like to eat all mine foods really fast, then barf 18.  I DID...