Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the TV with care,
In hopes that St. Santy Paws soon would be there;
The Meezers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of mischief danced around in their heads;
And the mom in her tank top and, loaded on booze
Had just settled down for a long winter's snooze.
When down in the living room there arose such a clatter,
The mom sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairs she stumbled and bumbled,
“oh. Holy ()*^&*(*( not again this year” she mumbled.
The hall light shone bright as in an interrogation room
we were all worried about the impending doom!
When, what to the mom’s wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and three tiny cat-deer,
With a little old driver, so tilty and slick,
I knew in a moment it must be that ()&**(^^*^ Nick.
The mom gathered her thoughts, fell down the stairs,
with a bump and a thump and a few pulled out hairs;
"Now, Miles! now, Billy! now, Sammy stop slacking!
On, Meezers on Orinch Meniss, and stop all that clacking!
To the top of the couch! to the shelf on the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
This dry leaves line is so very obtuse,
but it does rhyme with our calling the mother a moose,
So up to the buffet they clamored and flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St Fuzzypants too.
And then, in a crashing she heard from the hall
The kicking and scratching of each little paw.
As she got to her feet and looked all around ,
Down from the buffet they all fell with a bound.
Sammy was crying and Miles was screaming,
This was ruining all of their Chrissymouse scheming;
A bundle of toys they were looking to pillage,
And then set to ransacking the Chrissymouse village.
But then we noticed that Sammy was flattened,
She saw it too and she ran to his side,
And picked him up and then she cried
Sammy looked at his brothers and gave them a wink!
And then looked at the mom, who’s breath really did stink
She was crying and blubbering, and squishing poor Sammy
who was not enjoying this because mom’s hands were all clammy;
The rest of the kitties started yelling and crying
They put on a show like poor Sammy was dying
The hollering! The crying! The wailing and bawling!
They sure put on a show that was kind of appalling.
Sammy lifted his head and whispered to her
I’m ok Mamma, and then started to purrr;
The mom kissed his head and put him back down ,
Stood up and gave each of them a bit of a frown;
“you naughty meezers, you’re my heart and soul,
but if you try it again, Santa will leave you some coal.
Then we heard her sigh and turn out the light,
"Merry Chrissymouse my Meezers, go to bed and good night."