Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The Night before a Meezer Chrissymouse

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the TV with care,
In hopes that St. Santy Paws soon would be there;

The Meezers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of mischief danced around in their heads;
And the mom in her tank top and, loaded on booze
Had just settled down for a long winter's snooze.

When down in the living room there arose such a clatter,
The mom sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairs she stumbled and bumbled,
“oh. Holy ()*^&*(*( not again this year” she mumbled.

The hall light shone bright as in an interrogation room
we were all worried about the impending doom!
When, what to the mom’s wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and three tiny cat-deer,

With a little old driver, so tilty and slick,
I knew in a moment it must be that ()&**(^^*^ Nick.
The mom gathered her thoughts, fell down the stairs,
with a bump and a thump and a few pulled out hairs;

"Now, Miles! now, Billy! now, Sammy stop slacking!
On, Meezers on Orinch Meniss, and stop all that clacking!
To the top of the couch! to the shelf on the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

This dry leaves line is so very obtuse,
but it does rhyme with our calling the mother a moose,
So up to the buffet they clamored and flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St Fuzzypants too.

And then, in a crashing she heard from the hall
The kicking and scratching of each little paw.
As she got to her feet and looked all around ,
Down from the buffet they all fell with a bound.

Sammy was crying and Miles was screaming,
This was ruining all of their Chrissymouse scheming;
A bundle of toys they were looking to pillage,
And then set to ransacking the Chrissymouse village.

We started to move, like nothing had happened
But then we noticed that Sammy was flattened,
She saw it too and she ran to his side,
And picked him up and then she cried

Sammy looked at his brothers and gave them a wink!
And then looked at the mom, who’s breath really did stink
She was crying and blubbering, and squishing poor Sammy
who was not enjoying this because mom’s hands were all clammy;

The rest of the kitties started yelling and crying
They put on a show like poor Sammy was dying
The hollering! The crying! The wailing and bawling!
They sure put on a show that was kind of appalling.

Sammy lifted his head and whispered to her
I’m ok Mamma, and then started to purrr;
The mom kissed his head and put him back down ,
Stood up and gave each of them a bit of a frown;

“you naughty meezers, you’re my heart and soul,
but if you try it again, Santa will leave you some coal.
Then we heard her sigh and turn out the light,
"Merry Chrissymouse my Meezers, go to bed and good night."


Max said...


Angel Prancer Pie said...


Great job, kittehz. (and Mom)

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Iza, and Marley) said...

Pretty good stuff!!!

Georgia and Julie said...

Now we're ready for Christmas!!!
Thanks :)
Purrs Georgia and Julie,
Treasure and JJ

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Vidock, Violette said...

You are a true bunch of DRAMA QUEENS, you lot!!!

Sniggering Purrs,
The Chans

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

Great story, better than the original Night Before Christmas.

Two French Bulldogs said...

Fantastic. We better be good
Lily & Edward



Jans Funny Farm said...

Ah, your annual Christmas poem. :)

Happy Gotcha Day, Nick.

Flynn said...

Wonderful! It gets better every year.

Simba said...

I love it!

Beau Beau & Angie said...

Dat wuz gurreat! Yoo make Chrissymouse fun.

The Island Cats said...

That's our favorite by far!

meowmeowmans said...

Brilliant. The Meezers version of this poem is the BEST! :)

Derby, Ducky said...

Way awesome guys!

Ellen in Oregon said...

We love reading your awesome Chrisymouse poem. It is one of the best things about the holidays. We wish all the Meezers a wonderful Chrisymouse & a purrfect New Year!

Robyn Harton said...

I am in AWE of any cats who can get obtuse into a poem. Awesome as always. *chin scritches*
Mom Robyn

Alasandra, The Cats and Dogs said...

Happy Belated Gotcha Day to Nicholas.

We are totally blown away by your "The Night before a Meezer Chrissymouse", it was terrific.

Meowers from Missouri said...

Mommer has finely got off her @$$ to help us bisit around a little bit, an' yers is the first bloggie we made her go to! this is champion ryming, an' we votes you poets of the year!!!

loves to you guys an' the woman!

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MILES It's been a while since we posted.  We doesn't know how much longer we will be keeping this blog.  I has cancer and Sammy ha...