Sunday, August 31, 2014

Happy Purrfday Billy!!

THE MOM LADY PERSON

Happy Purrfday my sweet baby boy!!! Let's have a dance party - it can last until Tuesday!!!!! There's lots of places to sleep and eat and lots of music!!!!!

 

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Monday, August 25, 2014

meezers on tuesday

SAMMY

My life has become unbearable.    There are 2 aliens staying overnight for 2 days this week.   




Someone please save me

Friday, August 22, 2014

we has a bad sad




Good bye sweet Sparkle - we will miss you!!  We will meet you one day at the Bridge.......

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

slap the chick-hen

MILES

I found a new game to play - "slap the chick-hen".  i got eleventy nine pieces of chick-hen by slapping it off of the mom's fork, or slapping it off of her plate, or out of her hand while she was trying to give some to Billy.   BWAHAHAHAHAHA.  i am the master chick-hen slapper. 

Monday, August 18, 2014

Meezer Monday game of cats miles report

KING MOFFREY

BILLAN PAIN!!! GET YOUR ORINCH MENISS BUTT OFUR HERE.  


Billan - what do you want Miles? I'm trying to sleep?

KM - WHAT DO I WANT? FERST MINE NAME IS KING MOFFREY.  AND FIFTH, YOU ATE MINE FRENCH TOAST!!! 

Billan -  OH MY BAST!! are you STILL whining about that? you SPIT your mouthful of french toast IN MINE FACE.  it was GROSS.  it efen grossed out the mom lady person! THEN YOU STOMPED YOUR PAW IN THE MAPLY SYRUP and got it all ofur the mom lady person and she hadded to change her clothes.  

KM - WELL IF YOU HADDED JUST WAITED TILL I CHEWED 3 MORE TIMES I WOULD HAF BEEN DONE AND YOU COULD HAF HAD THE REST OF THE FRENCH TOAST.  but NO you hadded to come up to the plate and PUT YOUR ORINCH MENISS TONGUE on what was left on the plate and that got me mad and i tried to tell you to stop but i spit mine food on you instead of swallowing it.  

so you know what this means, right? 

Billan - no what? 

 KM - OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!!!

Billan - holy carp Miles, go take a nap or something.  I'm not taking mine head off. 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Our Writing Process

MILES

We has been tagged by Chey and Gemini and Ichiro to answer some qweschuns about our writing process.  

Qweschun 1.  What are you working on.  
                              Well for me personally it's a hairball.  For Billy, well he thinks he's chasing a fly, but really it's just a spot on the wall, but I doesn't want to make him feel bad 'acause he's blind in one eye.  Nicky is working on the neighbor to get some more foods (he stands on a table and swats at the neighbor) and Sammy, well I think he's working on some psychotherapy.  But maybe the qweschun is really about what we are working on writing.  Well, us, nothing.  But the mom has always had the idea to write a children's book starring ME!!!!! Captain Poosie!!!! wait, that's just WRONG.  It sounds like I should be some sort of turd-thing with a cape.  ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.  But she does want to write a book starring ME.  Because I'm her favorite.  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  PPPBBBFFFFTTTT to the rest of you kittehs in the house.  


Qweschun F.  Why do you write what you do.  
                         Well, I believe that my thoughts are stoo-pen-dus and you all should share in them with me.  Sammy thinks that you all could learn from his psychosis.  Billy and Nicky just want to be furriends wif everyone.  Now, truly, we cannot be shur that the mom is akshually typing what we tell her to, or maybe she's just typing some drivel from her own psychotic brain.  But none of you would want to read that horror story, so we believe that she is typing what we tell her to.  


Qweschun 5.  How does your writing process work.  
                           Well, ferst we get the mom all liquored up with vodka, then we sit on her lap while she stares at us and then we take over her brain and she types what we tell her to.  
Really.  

It's true.  


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  


No, we don't force feed her vodka.  Although the jell-o shots are almost gone so maybe she has been........... oh Nicky, is THAT why you spin around all the time? YOU'VE been the one in the jell-o shots? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  That's just not right.  

Ok, back to the qweschun - how does our writing process work.  Well, obviously the mom's brain is damaged and she hears voices that she thinks come from us.  and she types what she hears.  we hear there is medication for that, but we won't let her get any.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  

Seriously, we just tell her what is going on in our lives while she is at her "jahb" and she types it out. When she werks from home she gets a good idea of what goes on around here so she's pretty accurate. 

So, we don't know who has been or who has not been tagged, but we would like to hear from ALL of you - we will be checking your blogs so consider yourselves TAGGED!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

humans are just weird

SAMMY

I just don't get it.  Why would the mom VOLUNTARIALLY take some medicines that make her *poop* out her ever living insides? Sheesh.  Please someone get me out of this house.  There's no place to escape the moaning and,well, frankly, the smell.  I tried to get into the joint Human/Kitty litterbox room but I almost gagged and I had to leave.  The mom said "well now you know how I feel whenever I have to come in here and scoop".  Well, that's OK.  But this, well, this is just un-ak-sep-table.  

I think I will stick mine self in a box and call the man in the bloo shorts.  Or the man in the brown shorts.  whichever one can get here faster.   

Monday, August 11, 2014

Monday Monday

BILLY SWEETFEETS

blah blah, blah blah blah blah
blah blah, blah blah blah bah

Monday Monday

blah blah, blah blah blah

 

Friday, August 08, 2014

It's the weekend

SAMMY

ahhhhhhhh time to alax in the sleepy room all weekend.  nothing to do.  just alax. 

(the mom) - um Sam, you don't leave the sleepy room Monday - Friday either.  

Sam: well, you get up early and then we has to follow you around to make shur you don't kill yourself falling over something or down the stairs get dressed and stuff ok.  Then we has to snoopervise you making coffee.  Then after you leave we has to eat our brekkies and then I has to do morning alien patrol and THEN I can get back to the sleepy room.  That takes like, eleventy seven hours.  I'm tired! I need the weekend to rest up!  

 

Thursday, August 07, 2014

So

MILES

So, the mom gotted the needle out of her leg. She is doing ok.  Her toenail is not throbbing anymore and might someday grow back.  Her ear is still plugged, so she may haf to haf her ear drum punctured but she keeps saying "i'll give it another week".  I doesn't blame her,  I would not want someone stabbing me in the ear hole either.  

Soooooooooo, now that you haf kind of returned to being a HUMAN again, how about some ham? The ice cream was a good start, but my nutritional re-kwire-ments are still lacking a bit and I needs some ham to balance them out.  See i'm asking nicely and smiling for you. 

 

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

OH MY BAST I did somefing HORRIBLE

NICHOLAS BADBOYPANTS

Deer mommy

I is sooooo vary sorry that I herted you so much.  I just wanted a little love in the morning to start mine day.  I did not realize that you were stabbing yourself in the leg wif your stabby die-a-bee-tus pen thing.  I is sorry that i felled ofur onto your hand and it moved and the needle broked off in your leg.  I know that you has been going through a lot of rough things lately - you still haf air bubbles in your ear drum and can't hear anyfing from the plane ride, and then you go to the physical torchur lady to help the pain in your back, and then the other day you smacked your foot into the wall and an entire toe nail came off and that bled all ofur the floor for a long time.  And now I broked off your die-a-bee-tus needle in your leg.  I is soooooooooo sorry.  Please don't make me move out.  I really did not mean to be bad and hert you. 

Monday, August 04, 2014

Orinch Meniss Monday BILLY report

BILLY SWEETFEETS

Mondays will now be known as ORINCH MENISS MONDAY.  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  

ME gived Miles some HAM and asked if ME could take ofur blogging on Mondays and he saided "mppfffhfff hmmpppphhhh mfffpphhfffff!!!!!"" Which ME assomes (uh oh, I spelt a werd from the bad werd list) means "sure Billy go ahead, you are furry smart and  would do a wonderful job following in the tradition of excellent blogging on Monday."  Eifur that or "no frikkin way".  I cannot be sure which one.  Um, wait, I hear somefing in the kit-chen............
uh oh, um GOTTA GO!! Miles finished his ham and he's MAD..............



HAPPY ORINCH MENISS MONDAY

Friday, August 01, 2014

Nicky Friday

NICHOLAS BITEYPANTS

Ok mommy, I's sorry I bited you again last night while you was sleeping.  It's just that your belly is sooooo soft and squishy and it needs biting!!! I can't help it!   Just like I can't help slapping your head when I'm on the back of the cowch.  It's just THERE and it NEEDS slapping.  'Asides, how can you NOT LOVE this face!!

Oh wait, that's BILLY

 Um, you prolly love Miles' face too, right?
 Hang on, we're getting closer.  Sammy has a cute face too I guess.
 THERE!  THIS FACE!!! HOW CAN YOU BE MAD AT THIS FACE??
 

I think I'm getting closer

MILES I think that I'm getting close to home!! I just hope mine plane stops and lets me off - otherwise I'll overshoot the house a...