Not a Meezer was stirring, not even an Orinch Meniss
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there. (no not YOU Nicky, St Santy Paws)
The kitties were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of french toast (and other assorted treats) danced in their heads.
And the mom (that's me) in my tank top and shorts
Had just settled myself for a long winter's snork. (Miles I do not snork)
When down in the basement there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairs I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and tripped on the rug
The light on the rug of the hallway below
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But three little meezers and a lot of crafting gear .
They were cutting some fabric so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment - wait, what are they doing to Nick?.
Faster and faster they cut and they glued,
And they whistled, and hollered, and called him some names!
"Now Nicky! now, Fuzzy! now, Snicky and Snacky!
Oh, Tilty! Oh, Crabby! oh Spinny oh Wonky!
Sit still you rug rat! Come on we have to finish!
And then they ran - like I had given them spinach (ok Miles are you happy I got that line in?)
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little ........ hoof? (how did they get on the roof?).
As I drew back my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney little St Nicholas came with a bound. (where did we get a chimney?)
He was dressed all in fleece, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. (where did that come from?)
A bundle of somethig he had flung on his back,
And it looked like canned tuna just stuffed in the pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
I noticed my makeup was all over the floor,
And was that a beard on his chin? oh good lord
Ok that wasn't a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
I think that was a bone from last night's roast beef
They had stuffed a pillow in his suit, strapped to his belly
Oh great, they smeared it with a ton of strawberry jelly
He started up towards the stairs with Miles in tow
He called out "SAMMY!!" are you done with that bow? .
Sammy came down the hall with a package in tow ,
And all of them started towards the stairs -they might see me - oh no!
I ran down the hall and jumped back into bed,
They came in the room and jumped on my head.
Santy Paws is here they hollered and hugged me tight
"We got you a present - you do like stinky goodness, right?"