Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Winning Wednesday


Yep, I'm WINNING.  Whiney, hollering Miles gotted knocked off the cowch by mine mighty left paw of whap.  I rool, Miles drools.  


For scream-o-ween I will be THE INCREDIBLE HULK.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Meezer Monday Miles Report


It's scream-o-ween week and I has been practicing mine screaming all weekend.  I has screamed at the following things: 

1. The stove
2.  The fridgerfrator
3.  The bath tub
4.  The litter box
5.  The human litterbox
6.  The cowch
7.  The mom
8.  The bed
9.  The air

This has made the mom go a little bit nuts.  She will holler mine name and I will come running to her, stare at her, and then leave the room and start screaming again.  

This has also resulted in me getting the following things: 

1. chick-hen
2. bacon
3.  eggs
4  yogurt
5.  squash (I loves squash)

So, I think mine plan is werking. 

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

It's 'tocktober


In honor of mine OrinchCat Hero AngelDerby, who's purrfday was yesterday (we miss you lots Derby!) and who started 'tocktober, here is some 'tocks and a 'tocks song

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

I just want to NAP


Woman, sheesh.  I really just want to NAP.  I know that I stay up on the bed a lot lately, but I'm sleepy.  I'm a CAT for goodness sake.  We tend to SLEEP for like 22 hours a day. Get over it.  And stop interrupting mine naps.  A growing boy needs his sleeps.  

Monday, October 19, 2015

I's movin out


Recommended at the price
Insatiable in appetitie

::SIGH:: - the mom is really off her rocker.  Or her meds.  I's not shur which.  Although I am in-say-sha-ble in appetite. That's because I'M STARVING

THE MOM:  - No Miles, you are not starving.  You have plenty of food to eat

MILES:  Lissen up "the Mom" (if that is your real name) - things around here used to be pawsome.  I could steal get all the foods I wanted from your plate.  I could take foods out of one end of your sammich while you were eating the other end (oh yes, that happened).  But then you got the weird idea that I, Me, MOI, your sweet poosie, am FAT

THE MOM:  Miles, you are not a little kitten anymore.  You cannot crawl up on my chest and lay down like you used to.  You are a big boy now and you kind of crush me when you try that.

MILES:  ::SNIFF SNIFF::  Now I's crushed.  I loves you and that's why I want to lay on your chest.  But if you say I's too fat, well then, I guess it's time for me to move on.  

::packs toys in a kerchief and ties it to a pole:: 

BYE The Mom.  I hopes that you can forgive yourself that you crushed a little kitteh's heart for trying to love you. 

::goes to the door and sits:: 

THE MOM:   Well? 

MILES:  Um, in order to move out, does I really haf to GO OUTSIDE?  

THE MOM:  Well, that's how it generally works. 

MILES:  So, the mom, how about a com-pro-mise?   You give me all the foods I want again and I will not sit on your chest and crush you.  

THE MOM:  Um, how about this: I will give you SOME of the foods you want, and you can sit on my LAP.  


Thursday, October 15, 2015

Bad Bad Billy Sweetfeets



Baddest kitteh in the whole dang house
Badder than old King Kong
Meaner than a junk yard woofie

The mom lady person would like efurryone to know that ME IS BAD. 

Really, it's the MOM LADY PERSON who is all confuzzled. 

ME hears her hollering and hollering and hollering for ME one day.  SHE is all "BILLY, COME HERE RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE &*(&*^&**(& (she saided those werds!!).  ME wented to look for her and ME did not see her anywhere in the house.  So ME wented back to bed.  Then ME heard her crying and hollering and hollering again.  So ME wented to look for HER.  Sheesh, she must be losted or something and needs ME to find her! so ME wented to the front door and she was out there hollering for me.  So ME just sat in the door waiting for her to see me.  And she did.  And she ranned up onto the porch and HOLLERED AT ME FOR BEING INSIDE.  

ME is now confuzzled.  ME was there all the time.  Why didn't she look INSIDE for ME? ME was just laying around sleeping.  WHAT DID ME DO WRONG?? 

Well, she camed in and picked me up (ME LOVES that) and she tolded ME that ME was BAD for not answering her.  but ME did! She just was not paying attenshun.  

It all werked out though, ME gotted kissies and hugs and stuff.  So ME is not mad at the mom lady person. But ME could be.  It was not fair. 

Now for your singing and dancing pleasure: 

Monday, October 12, 2015

Bah da bah da da da bah da bah da da da


Monday Monday, can't trust that day, 
Monday Monday, sometimes the foods just run away

Oh Monday morning you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh Monday brekfest, how could you leave before I could eat thee

HEY THE MOM!! THE FOODS DISH IS M.T.  (wait, that's the mom's initials, oh holy crappity crap crap crap, everything just became so clear to me - the mom is M.T and mine foods dish is M.T - THE FOODS DISH IS MINE THE MOM? AHHHHH I think I need to go back to sleep).  

Monday, October 05, 2015

wasting away again in chickaritaville


Ok, so I's NOT wasting away.  I gotted CHICK-HEN!!!!! And I didn't efen haf to steal it.  Oh, and the mom, I's sorry I bited your fingers getting that ferst piece you held up for me - I was so 'acited I didn't know what I was doing.  And Billy, well, he had not had chick-hen in so long he didn't know how to operate his own mouf.  He forgotted how to open it.  MOL.  


Thursday, October 01, 2015

Things heard at casa de meezer


Here are some things heard around our house this week: 

Get your butt out of my face, I'm trying to sleep
Get your butt ouf of Billy's face
Get your face out of Nicky's butt
Get out of the bathtub
Get off the toilet
Really, get your butt out of my face
Stop slapping my head
Who's my poosie woosie? (that would be NOT ME)
Don't put your paw in the fan
Stop stabbing me with your claws 
guess who's getting a man-a-cure
you DO have food in your dish
go ahead and put your paws in my ice cream, i'm going to eat it anyway
ok, stop licking the other side of my ice cream sandwich
get out of my cereal
stop whapping stuff off the table
get off the table 
get off the dresser
stop jumping on me, i'm trying to sleep
do all of you have to sit on my lap while i eat? 

Update on us

SAMMY I had a v-e-t appointment last week and the v-e-t is kind of werried 'acause i might haf another skin cancer starting.  she will...