Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday


'afore I post my meezer rule, I has a purr request to make:
Daddy has a really really ‘portant jobbie innerview at 4pm today for a really really ‘portant posishun!! It’s somefing that he has nefur done ‘afore but he finks he can do a really really good job at it. So we need to purr all day today!!!
UPDATE:: it's 4pm and we is purring and purraying hard for you daddy. we hopes that the jobbie is somefing that you likes and if it is that they likes you!!

Now for me meezer rule:
When you haf goop-itis in your eye, avoiding looking at your mom will only get it noticed faster.


Whapping Q&A:

From The Meowers: next to each other, we finds pens to be the most whappable things, acause they go spinnin' off the table an' then we can jump down an' hockey-whap them all ofur the floor. but sometimes the dambrowndog traps 'em an' eats 'em while we're playing. how does we convince her to give 'em back wifout getting ourselves damaged?
Well meowers, this requires teamwork. Someone needs to go into another room and whap something heavy or china onto the floor to make a loud noise to distract the woofie and then she will forget all about them.

From my protoge Pepi: Sammy the Whapmeister,Can you tell us the special tricks of whapping siblings and getting away fast so they can't whap you back?Purrrrrrs,your student Pepi
Pepi, this just takes practice, practice practice. Try doing wind sprints up and down the stairs twice a day for a week and then try the whap and run.

From my buddy Latte: I have a question. Is whapping and running and the coming back to whap and run again OK? I find with nightstand whapping sometimes I have to leave and then come back to whap when the Toy Man is almost asleep again.
Latte, the serial whap is the best kind of whap!! especially when the beans put all the stuff back that you just whapped and then you come back and whap it all over again.

From Prince Tybalt: Is it acceptable to whap back at your mommy when she tells you not to do something you want to do? I have been trying this out recently . . . for example, I was trying to steal one of her socks to chew a nice hole into it, and she told me no and took it away . . . and I WHAPPED her!I is that ok?
Tybalt: ABSOLUTELY!!!! how else are we going to train the beans?

From HRH Yao-lin: Dearest Sammy and MilesReference: Whapping. I have been following your Whapping lessons for some weeks now and I must say they are an INVALUABLE source of education! Regarding what is deemed to be acceptable whapping - my human recently went to the optician and purchased her first pair of glasses to the tune of £140! (That's almost $300). My question is this: What is the best way to whap the glasses from her fat face? I have actually whapped them (whilst she was reading) once or twice. Sadly, this was to no avail and it is driving me crazy. I want to give her a nervous breakdown by smashing her precious glasses to bits. Please help! Kind regardsHRH Yao-Lin xx
Yao-lin, this requires some serious stealth whapping. Haf you considered whapping her glasses from the table or nightstand? Aim for the wall and they should shatter nicely. If you must whap them from her face, you need to sneak your paw up under the lens and do a very quick flick and get them off in a single motion. Very advanced, but being a meezer of your stature, it should be no problem.

I will keep answering questions till they are done. I love this!


Angus Mhor said...

I AM PURRING FOR YOUR DAD! I hope he gets this job and he'll do really great and you'll get more temptations! and he'll be so tired when he gets home, you can whap anything you want, and he'll never notice! Hahaha!

Your Total Whap-ness:

What's the highest object you've ever whapped, and what happened after you whapped it?

Tiger Lily said...

We are purraying hard for your Daddy! We know how important it is to get a really good job to bring in those green papers!! Please let us know the results.

Your friends,
Jemima, Zeke, Sushi, Tiger Lily and Ruckus

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Oh good luck to your male person! I hope he gets the job!!!!

This was very good advice on whapping Sammy. Now, is there anything too heavy to avoid whapping? I mean like computer monitors or printers? I have been known to whap at them but they don't go anywhere. Should I stop wasting my time?

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i will purr for your dad. and i whapped sarge a really really good one the other night. he said "hey" real loud. what does he mean by this? he was sleeping at the time of course. i would never whap him if he was awake! i'm not stupid!!!

smiles, auntie bee

Camie's Kitties said...

We will be purring for your daddy!

Mom gets the goop in our eyes all the time. She has a built in sensor.

Sammy, thanks for the answers to the questions. We are learning lots.

Tiki, Tavi, Cody and Camie

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

We'z all gonna purr really hard fur yoor dad! Was dat steak dat Billy was trying to steal, we know he was purrtending to smell it but we know dat it's sniff, sniff, nom.

The Devil Dog said...

We will pug snort for your dad and send him our positive energy.
Whatever Bill was looking at looks really good.

Roxy & Lucky

DK & The Fluffies said...

We will say some serious purrayers! Oh and we love the Meezer rule!

PB & J said...

Oh we are purring and purring - good luck Meezer Dad!

Excellent rule by the way - how do they know about the goops when you don't even look at them?!

Mickey said...

Giant BIG purrs for your Dad!!!!!
Sammy ,you gave great advice to Pepi ! I want to try whapping Tillie ,heeheehee

Purrs Georgia

Samantha & Tigger said...

That is wonderful news Sammy, Miles, Billy and Mom & Dad !! We will purr, purrr and purrrrrrrr until we hear otherwise!!
Your FL furiends,

MoMo said...

I am purring and purring really hard for your Daddy. I hope he gets the jobbie!

Chairman Mao said...

I love yur whappin Q & A! You fellers are downright edukashunamul! hehehe

Us Ballicai are purrin and purrin that yur Daddy gets the jobbie. And we've got alla our pawsies crossed, too!

Kittyhugs and purrs from MaoMao!

Southbay Girl said...

We are sending loads of purrs to your dad! good luck dad!!

kodak, Winton and 3 Perf

Renee said...

I never know what day it is when I visit you. Your bloggie says that you posted this at 12am and that some people commented at 1:38 am. at my house it is 12:48 am now, so I'm guessing that you must be living somewhere east of me.

You cats are up late.
I am totally glad that I don't have a cat right now. LOL!

Adan*Michico said...

I believe your dad's interview will be going well~!
I will pray for all of you!!

Parker said...

Oh, you have all of our good purrs and wishes for your Daddy today! I bet he does great!

jenianddean said...

Good luck ... we're sending purrs your way!

Tigmut'hep said...

I shall purr for your Dad, but need advise on whapping kittens... I'm purrfectly capable of whapping 'em, it's the getting away with it bit that I totally suck at. :( Any ideas as to how I can get away with more kitten whapping and not getting caught and told off?!


Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

We are purring really, really hard that your daddy gets the job, guys! It would be neat for him to get to do something different ... momma has worked at her job for 26 years so it can be really mundane at times!
Purrs and headbutts,
Sabrina, Sam and Simon

Dragonheart & Merlin said...

Miles, that's a great rule. Is your eye goopy again? We hope that is heals quickly, if it is.

Sammy, thank you again for your words of whapping wisdom!

We will purr hard for your dad!

TT said...

We's will purr for the Daddy. Good Luck's to him!!

I enjoys reading the Whapping Q&A it's greats learning stuff.

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

Miles: You are right about the eye goops....don't look 'em in the eye and maybe they won't notice

Sammy: You are the WHAPMASTER! Great answers!

Billy: Kisses from Auntie Deb, who loves you and your sweet feets, even if they are wet!!

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

Sorry, that was us..."comment deleted"...blogger ate our first comment!

Tybalt said...

Miles, I am PURRING extra hard for your daddy! I hope all our purrs help him get the job. *paws crossed*

Sammy, thanks so much for answering my question! I shall hone my whapping skills to make sure I keep my mommy in line.

HotMBC said...

We're all purring for your Daddy lots and lots!!! And we'll cross our paws!!! I'm heading ofur to purr wif yoo but the resta the Hotties will purr from here.
Grate rool too. If yoo tries to not be notissed, it gets yoo notissed. How weerd is that?
Purrrrrrrrs n nosekissies,
yore girlfriendcat Sanjee

Pee Ess. Wow Sammy, yoo knows lots about whapping!

HotMBC said...

Aw man, officially your protege. :) ::scuffs paw:: Fanks, sensei.
I'll do winder sprints up the stairs for sure. Fanks Whapmeister!
Oh, and what Sanjee said about purring for your Dad too.
your protege Pepi

FrecklesandDeb said...

These are wonderful whapping tips. You know so much about whapping. You should write a book!

Riley & Tiki said...

Lots of purrs for your Daddy.

Captain Jack and Sir Dante said...

We will purr and purr for your Daddy today!! - Captain Jack and Dante


Okay whapping question - how hard must one whap to shut that little brat up? We keep whapping and whapping Fagin but he just pays no attention. Perhaps whaps do not have an effect on stupid kittens? Or are we not whapping him often enough?

Spooker said...

Sending purrs for your Daddy!!!!

No whammies, no whammies, no whammies, whap!

Auntie Spooker

Java's Coffee House said...

I just loves reading all your whapping advices, I only whap on occasion and my favorite kind of whapping is when mommy puts it right back up on the table again and I whapp it off again. I likes whapping earrings and other jewelry the bestest.


Jimmy Joe said...

I'm sending lots of good luck purrs to your daddy, buddies. Sammy, once again you have proven that you are the Whap Master.
Your buddy, Jimmy Joe

Junior said...


Good luck Meezer Dad!

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Oh, we do hope your dad gets the important position he wants. We will purr for him to get the job.

Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

Purr! Good luck to your Dad!!

These whapping questions really are helping me understand better.

Chase has a question:

Dear SMART meezers (my family excluded),
What are the rules with tail whapping? I find that I can flick stuff off of tables and keep that "who me" look thing going but the humans appear to be catching on fast. I think its the noise. How can I make tail whapping quieter?

Anonymous said...

Sammy, you are a terrific source of information about the who, what, when, where and why of whapping.

Miles, all us Good Cats join you in purring for your human daddy.

Scooby, Shaggy & Scout said...

Good luck to you daddy!!!!!!!
Miles, sorry about your eye and having to get more goop. That puts a bummer on the day, doesn't it?

Willow said...

I always get the goop-itis in my left eye and my Food Lady always sees it and de-goops me.

I will send steady strong purrs over to your Daddy all day! Good luck to him get that job that he wants!

Purrrrrrrrs, Willow

China Cat said...

I am going to purr all day for your Daddy! If he thinks he can do that job really well, then they should hire him to do it!

My Lap Lady never has to de-goop me because I always clean my eyes myself!

Purrrrrrrs, China Cat

Mr. Echo said...

We hope your Daddy gets the jobbie he wants and then uses the munneys to buy you lots of treets.

Whapping queery: I've whapped some toys under the food cooker. What can I whap under thare to get the toys out? Ot is this another job my peeple are forgetting?

Chance said...

BIG GIANT PUUUURRRRRSSSSSSSS fur yur Daddy! Good Luck wif yur innervue.

The Cat Realm said...

Hahahahahahahahahahah - your whapping advice combined with Yao-Lin's just being Yao-Lin almost gave me a heart attack laughing so much! HAhahahahahahahahahaha THANK YOU!!!!
Now we will all PUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR for your Dad!!!!

Radcliff, Allie, Luna, & Ozzie said...

We all have our paws crossed for your Daddy.

Kellie The Orange Cat said...

I am purring for your Dad.

Your whapping lessons are invaluable! As an only cat I can only whap my Mum, which makes my whapping opportunities not that great.

The Furry Kids said...

We are sending lots of purrs and purrayers for your dad at his interview!!!

Anonymous said...

We are purring and praying for Meezer Dad! It is already after 4, but it sure can't hurt!

Great whapping Q & A, Sammy. We never realized there was such an Art to Whapping! You've taken it to new heights!!

DaisyMae Maus said...

We are all purrin' for your dad-dood! Good luck to him!

Princess said...

I am four hours late... but i hope your daddy got the jobbie.

Camie's Kitties said...

How'd it go??? We've been purring hard all day.

Tiki, tavi, Cody and Camie

it's been a while

MILES It's been a while since we posted.  We doesn't know how much longer we will be keeping this blog.  I has cancer and Sammy ha...