Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday

MILES

'afore I post my meezer rule, I has a purr request to make:
Daddy has a really really ‘portant jobbie innerview at 4pm today for a really really ‘portant posishun!! It’s somefing that he has nefur done ‘afore but he finks he can do a really really good job at it. So we need to purr all day today!!!
UPDATE:: it's 4pm and we is purring and purraying hard for you daddy. we hopes that the jobbie is somefing that you likes and if it is that they likes you!!

Now for me meezer rule:
When you haf goop-itis in your eye, avoiding looking at your mom will only get it noticed faster.

SAMMY

Whapping Q&A:

From The Meowers: next to each other, we finds pens to be the most whappable things, acause they go spinnin' off the table an' then we can jump down an' hockey-whap them all ofur the floor. but sometimes the dambrowndog traps 'em an' eats 'em while we're playing. how does we convince her to give 'em back wifout getting ourselves damaged?
Well meowers, this requires teamwork. Someone needs to go into another room and whap something heavy or china onto the floor to make a loud noise to distract the woofie and then she will forget all about them.

From my protoge Pepi: Sammy the Whapmeister,Can you tell us the special tricks of whapping siblings and getting away fast so they can't whap you back?Purrrrrrs,your student Pepi
Pepi, this just takes practice, practice practice. Try doing wind sprints up and down the stairs twice a day for a week and then try the whap and run.

From my buddy Latte: I have a question. Is whapping and running and the coming back to whap and run again OK? I find with nightstand whapping sometimes I have to leave and then come back to whap when the Toy Man is almost asleep again.
Latte, the serial whap is the best kind of whap!! especially when the beans put all the stuff back that you just whapped and then you come back and whap it all over again.

From Prince Tybalt: Is it acceptable to whap back at your mommy when she tells you not to do something you want to do? I have been trying this out recently . . . for example, I was trying to steal one of her socks to chew a nice hole into it, and she told me no and took it away . . . and I WHAPPED her!I is that ok?
Tybalt: ABSOLUTELY!!!! how else are we going to train the beans?

From HRH Yao-lin: Dearest Sammy and MilesReference: Whapping. I have been following your Whapping lessons for some weeks now and I must say they are an INVALUABLE source of education! Regarding what is deemed to be acceptable whapping - my human recently went to the optician and purchased her first pair of glasses to the tune of £140! (That's almost $300). My question is this: What is the best way to whap the glasses from her fat face? I have actually whapped them (whilst she was reading) once or twice. Sadly, this was to no avail and it is driving me crazy. I want to give her a nervous breakdown by smashing her precious glasses to bits. Please help! Kind regardsHRH Yao-Lin xx
Yao-lin, this requires some serious stealth whapping. Haf you considered whapping her glasses from the table or nightstand? Aim for the wall and they should shatter nicely. If you must whap them from her face, you need to sneak your paw up under the lens and do a very quick flick and get them off in a single motion. Very advanced, but being a meezer of your stature, it should be no problem.

I will keep answering questions till they are done. I love this!