Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday


My rule for today: if you want to stay on the mom's good side, do NOT try and eat her leg while she is brushing her teefs. No matter how starving you are.


More questions to answer!! WOO HOO!

Miss Zevo Calamari asks: Thanks for all the whapping tips. My pet human said i am being very rude since i whapped Nubi when he came home from the hospital.What do you think? I really think he deserved it.
Dear Fearless Pooses for Peace Leader Zevo: No, you're not rude. If he smelled funky you have every right to whap him. But don't make it a habit.

Daisy asks: Can I ask you a whapping question? I like to whap my sister, Pixie, but she always tries to whap me back. Is it better to whap and run?
Dear Daisy: Yes, whapping and running is preferred, but, maybe you could let Pixie get in one whap a week to make her feel good. I'm sure she probably doesn't whap really hard, right? If she did, then you can whap her back and run.

Ayla asks: So I haf a question. When whapping soft fuzzy stuff, should it be claws or no claws? With claws, stuff sticks to my paws an thats fun, but Im worried thats more "playin" than "whappin".
Dear Ayla: well, yes, that is more playing than whapping, but remember, whapping first and foremost should be fun!

Angus asks: Your Total Whap-ness:What's the highest object you've ever whapped, and what happened after you whapped it?
Dear Angus: I whapped our squillion Seville off the entetainment center, about 5 1/2 feet off the ground. Mommy was MAD. but Billy recently pulled her off it and now she needs facial reconstructive sugery.

Chey and Gemini ask: This was very good advice on whapping Sammy. Now, is there anything too heavy to avoid whapping? I mean like computer monitors or printers? I have been known to whap at them but they don't go anywhere. Should I stop wasting my time?
Dearest Chey and Gemini: um, no not really. I haf whapped heavy lamps, ceramic heaters, and once even a whole end table!! You need to put a little "oomph" behind it - or maybe tag team it.

Auntie Bee asks: i whapped sarge a really really good one the other night. he said "hey" real loud. what does he mean by this? he was sleeping at the time of course. i would never whap him if he was awake! i'm not stupid!!!
Dear Auntie Bee (we loves you!): I'm sure Sarge was going to say "HEY! That was a great whap" but he fell asleep before he could finish the sentence. Keep up the good whapping!

Tigmut'hep asks: need advise on whapping kittens... I'm purrfectly capable of whapping 'em, it's the getting away with it bit that I totally suck at. :( Any ideas as to how I can get away with more kitten whapping and not getting caught and told off?!
Dear Tig: Oh I feel your pain brother!!! whap and run, just whap and run!!!

Chase ask: Dear SMART meezers (my family excluded),What are the rules with tail whapping? I find that I can flick stuff off of tables and keep that "who me" look thing going but the humans appear to be catching on fast. I think its the noise. How can I make tail whapping quieter?
Dear Chase - its always better to whap stuff onto the carpet for optimum noise reduction. If you must whap onto something harder, make sure to move your tail to the opposite side of your body as fast as possible. Also, curl it around your front feet as you sit there looking all innocent

Captain Jack and Dante ask: Okay whapping question - how hard must one whap to shut that little brat up? We keep whapping and whapping Fagin but he just pays no attention. Perhaps whaps do not have an effect on stupid kittens? Or are we not whapping him often enough?
Dear Captain Jack and Dante: ::SIGH:: our kitten LIKES being whapped. So we just whap harder and more often. It's fun fo us so we don't care.

Eric and Flynn ask: We are furry inchrested in all your whapping tips, but we haf a furry seeryuss kweschun. Mum has big white grass in a big pot in the lounge. She calls it Pampas grass. Well yesterday it wuz hot and she had all the windows and doors open, but it wuz windy and the grasses blew ofurr. We didn't whap them ofurr. We came indoors and we knew sumfing wus diffrunt so we bofe floofed up and stalked them, then we started whapping them. What we want to know is, is it ok to floof up and whap at the same time, cuz mum wuz laffing at us and we don't want her to fink we wuz skeered.
Dear Eric and Flynn - ferst, did you whap your mum for laffing at you? that's just rude. Second, you have every right to floof up and whap when something invisdible knocks something over. After all, you never know when your whapping will make something invisdible turn visdible.


Junior said...

Miles~Isn't there a saying something like "don't eat the leg that feeds you"?

Sammy-I have been forced to start whapping! And I have a bit of an advantage over Orion...I have claws....I hpoe it is okay that I have been using them.


Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

great lessons. i am learning SO much from y'all! poor sarge won't know what whapped him! ha ha ha ha ha

smiles, auntie bee

pee ess: i loves you too!!!

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Yoo ARE da Whapanator! Dude, yesterday we, me and Sadie, were playing slappy paws. Yoo know, whapping each others paws really fast, and she clipped me wif a claw! Seriously, I was bleading from my big mancat paw! She sez it was an aksident. Is it pawsibul to "aksidently" claw yoor brofurs paw while playing slappy paws? Or did she do it on purpose?

Renee said...

I'm enjoying learning all the whapping tips. I'll be sure to pass them to any kitty I meet.

I'm so glad I didn't get a $600 sucky monster too, cuz of course I would have returned it for the money...I'm not quite as blonde as I look. ;)
I think I've got DH pretty well trained and I know that DD is trained well...she tries to warn him before he messes up too badly.

Camie's Kitties said...

Miles, That is a great rule! Tiki will bite Mom sometimes when she is testing his blood, but not often.

Sammy. We always learn so much from you. We have a question. What should you do when you are whapping something really good (see our Monday's post - an insulin needle) and your Mom takes it away?

Tiki, Tavi, Cody and Camie

Camie's Kitties said...

PS - she took it away because she said it might be dangerous. Does that make a difference?

T, T, C & C

Dragonheart & Merlin said...

That's a good rule, Miles.

Sammy, thanks again for answering all those whapping questions.

We have another question: Our humans recently removed all the whappable objects off the top of one of the shelving units in the living room (after we whapped something into the garbage that shouldn't have been garbage). How can we convince them to put some whappable stuff back up there?

DEBRA said...

Wow Sammy
I am learnin soooo much from these weekly whappin sessions, but I still need some helps wif whappin and runnin. I tried whappin Ping dis mornin while he was upside down and he nearly landed a paw on me. I gotta knoo how to avoid gettin whapped back. Pleeeeaaasssee help..

**wavin paws**
Bye Billy
Bye Miles

***blowin kisses**
Bye to my sweet handsome floofy cocoa puffs whapmaster!

Purrs and nosekisses
Your adoring little angel princess

Tigmut'hep said...

My weekly whapping of kittens has gone well using the "whap and run" technique, so I was trying my paw at bigger and better things to whap and came accross my housemate Ramses... The thing is he keeps reminding me of the fact that he managed to whap the old microwave off the kitchen counter and that weighed about 50lbs! He's more an Arnold Schwarzenkitty in the muscle department, so this is a bit worrying to me as I don't weigh as much as the old microwave (even though I'm making a real effort to do so) and certainly don't have that sort of muscle power - not the energy to workout constantly like he does to get it... Ah I doomed to have to look and not whap, or is there another way of dealing with this most formidable of opponents?

Yours in quiet desperation...
Tigmut'hep (a meezer in a black cats body)

Parker said...

I am learning so much from you! This week I am going to practice my Whap and Run on Rudy!
Thanks guys!

Eric and Flynn said...

We are furry inchrested in all your whapping tips, but we haf a furry seeryuss kweschun. Mum has big white grass in a big pot in the lounge. She calls it Pampas grass. Well yesterday it wuz hot and she had all the windows and doors open, but it wuz windy and the grasses blew ofurr. We didn't whap them ofurr. We came indoors and we knew sumfing wus diffrunt so we bofe floofed up and stalked them, then we started whapping them. What we want to know is, is it ok to floof up and whap at the same time, cuz mum wuz laffing at us and we don't want her to fink we wuz skeered.

The Furry Kids said...

Miles, that is an excellent rule!

Sammy, I can't tell you how invaluable these lessons are.


Anonymous said...

Seville needs facial reconstructive sugery... hehehe.

Miles, we have a serious whapping consequence. When we whap our Mom, at first it looks like she's giving us an 'OK' hand gesture, but suddenly her finger pops us in our noses! What's up with that?

Scout said...

Everytime I think i know all there is to know about whapping, someone asks a question that makes me realize I am still a student of the fine art.

HotMBC said...

Oh gosh Miles, yeah beans don't like their legs bein eaten. If yoo's hungry, we has sum deviled ham in the cabinet. And Pepi's good at openin cabinets. Come on ofur!
Purrrrrs n nosekissies,
yore girlfriendcat Sanjee

HotMBC said...

Great whapping advice as usual Sammy. You da whapping man!

I have a question though.
How far is the right distance to whap food out of the bowl when you don't like it much or just want to whap? Just a few inches? Across the room? Into the next county? (Whereever that is.)

your protege Pepi

Katie & Da Katz said...

Ize whaps and runs...

Bootsie whaps, meows and runs.

Daisy just whaps... and likes ta sit on evfurry kitty.

No kitty lets hur do dat cept Bootsie.

Cheysuli and gemini said...

There is just so much to absorb. You might need to collate this into an ebook Sammy so that we can all refer back to it when we need it.

Queen Snickers and Empress said...

That was a vary good rule, I will try and tell Renna but I don't know if she will listen.
Speaking of Renna, Oh Great Whapping Master: we have a whapping question, when your whapping a baby woofie to keep her out of your food how do you keep her from jumping up and biting your ears? ~Queen Snickers and Empress

PB & J said...

Whap and run is my favorites - but I have a follow up question Professor McWhappington. How far do you have to run? Sometimes I run too far and can't get in another whap - sometimes I don't run far enough and get whapped - is there a perfect distance?


Daisy said...

Thanks for the most excellent whapping tips!

I was also wondering, is it okay to whap something that is filled up with something else? For example, a wine glass filled up with red wine?

Evergreen loves Kilroy said...

Dat was such good whapping advice!! Now I know how to approach those doggies... WHAP and RUN!

Lucky Charmz said...

Those are furry excellent answers ... You guys sure do know a whole lot 'bout whapping! I wonder what would happen if I whapped DaisyMae? Hmmm ...


Mickey said...

Sammy,you give the best advice!! I like the 'whapping with yer claws out' hahahaha
You can tell Tigmut'hep to whap in the dark,Being black,he can't be seen!!! Hahahahahaha!!!
Purrs Mickey( a black cat ;)

Princess said...

Excellent rule! I completely agree.

These are superb answers to those tricky quite diverse questions! You two are on the ball


Eric and Flynn said...

Fanks furr annsering our kweschun and putting our minds at rest about it being ok to floof up and whap at the same time. We will remember your advice in future, and whap mum next time she laffs at us.

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

Sammy, you give such great whapping advice!

Hi Miles!!!

Hi Billy my sweetfeets! How are you doing? Still keeping those feets dry? Kisses from Auntie Deb!

Alexi said...

We just discovered the whapping sessions. What do you do when you want to get down from a high place and you've no choice but to jump on your bean and he/she/it screams?

William said...

I think your mom needs to know the rule: all parts of moms are eat-able.


ML said...

KC said...
excellent advice.
Mine lil sisfur, Faith Boomerang, has quite a large tail. It is extra-extra-floofy. Mine Mommie ML calls it a "power tail". Today F-Boo accidentally pushed a full can of Diet Coke off the desk. That's pretty heavy, too. You don't think she wuz really whapping, do you?

The Fluffy Tribe said...

whapping question: I whap Ko Ko hard repeatedly until he cries. Mom says this is not nice. I disagree. Could you please mediate. ~SHadow of the Fluffy Tribe

Angus Mhor said...

Dear Sammy,
You are a God! I worship at your feet, Your Total Whapness. How can I become your acolyte?

Paduwon Angus

Angus Mhor said...

Pee Ess:

e-Way not erthy-Way, e-Way not erthy-Way.

Paduwon Angus

it's been a while

MILES It's been a while since we posted.  We doesn't know how much longer we will be keeping this blog.  I has cancer and Sammy ha...