Tuesday, March 25, 2014

For Sale

SAMMY

One slightly used human.  Will sell to a good (or fair) home, cheap. 

Advantages: 

Has thumbs can open stinky goodness
gives good belly rubs

DisAdvantages

Does NOT open stinky goodness despite having thumbs
Snorks when she sleeps
complains about "all these cats" laying on top of her all night
Will sit on you if you stand on the human litterbox seat
will barf on you if you stand on the human litterbox seat
will put all the toys away while you are thinking about what to play with (even if it takes you 2 hours to decide)
does not like to share her dinner 
complains about all the "cat hair" on her clothes
complains when "some stinky orinch" cat farts on her

We would really just like a human that WILL open stinky goodness cans and not give us that "the v-e-t says you're all too fat and cannot have stinky goodness" lecture. 

13 comments:

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

are you interviewing for a new person sammie pie?

smiles, auntie bee
xoxoxoxoxo

Random Felines said...

we would offer you ours in trade, but it sounds like neither of us would get an upgrade

Winston said...

You needs to be more agressive. I knock my fud plate & tins over when I am not getting fed quick enuf. I get 'the look' but I alsos gets fed quicker.

The Swiss Cats said...

We have the same in stock... Purrs

William said...

If I didn't know better, I'd say we have the same exact mom!!

The Island Cats said...

Shoot, we got one of those too.

meowmeowmans said...

Sounds like a straight up trade between you kittehs and us...

Shaggy and Scout said...

We think our mom came from the same model year.

Derby, Ducky said...

Move to our house guys!

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Vidock, Violette said...

You had better make sure you have a fair replacement in place and fully trained before you sell this one…

Purrs,
The Chans

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Iza, and Marley) said...

Gave it some thought, but we will pass on the offer.

Flynn said...

I think I will keep the one I've got. She has never barfed on me or sat on me. If I tell her the stinky goodness she has just given me tastes like poop she will open another can for me. She did take me to the evil vet on Monday though so that goes against her.

Two French Bulldogs said...

I am thinking of putting mine on Craig's List
Lily & Edward

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