Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Deer Diary

MILES

Deer Diary

Day Elebenty Five of the "starve Miles" campaign by that ebil "the mom" person.  While she SAYS that she is giving us the same amount of foods in our dish, there is a marked decrease in edible foods from her plate.  This is concerning and a bit terrifying. The Orinch Meniss and I are fading fast.  Orinch Meniss has been seen to lay down in the middle of a room while he walks through it, and just stare that the ebil "the mom" person.  She just looks at him and laugs the ebil maniacal laugh of the insane.  I have tried to make my pathetic look even more pathetic - if i make mine eyes any bigger they will be bigger than mine head, and that might scare her.  I have given up hope of ever getting a bite of something edible from her plate ever again.  Most of what is on her plate now is begetables or pasta.  I even brought mineself down to her level and stole a piece of pasta.  It did not have sauce or butter on it. It was nasty. The Orinch Meniss said that the "zit" last week with the tomato sauce was good.  I could not bring mineself to even sniff it.  The ebil "the mom" person called it "ziti".  I am not about to eat anything that sounds that gistusting.  

I find that I am eating more of that awful, dry, kibble stuff that is mounded up in our big bowl. It is supposed to taste like some sort of dead animal, but I can't figure out which one. The psycho Sammy and that little rat Nicky are all "OH BUT IT'S SO GOOD!! NOM NOM NOM".  They need to stop because the ebil "the mom" person says that they are getting FAT like ME. If the mom does not start eating some form of real, live, dead animal this week, I am afraid that I will have to either sell her, or put mineself up for sale to some human with a heart.  

Note from the ebil "the mom" person:  I am not starving you Miles. You have plenty to eat in your bowl that is healthy for you and delicious. I am just choosing to eat a little healthier to see if that will help some of my medical issues.  Believe me, I miss the real live dead cow and the real live dairy products too. 

Hey you, ebil "the mom" person - GET OUT OF MINE DIARY! Sheesh, nosy human. 

9 comments:

Jans Funny Farm said...

Nooooo! First she starves you, then she reads and writes in your diary. This healthy eating must be effecting her mind. We feel your pain. We really do, Miles.

The Whiskeratti said...

Sighs. Moms are just MEAN sometimes, aren't they ?

Two French Bulldogs said...

Are t they so greedy never sharing
Snorts,
Lily & Edward

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

You poor kitties have to suffer for her choices, it isn't right.

TK and Pip said...

Poor babies! My mom has me on,a die-it too. Just keep up with the sad eyes. .. that's what I do.
Your pal, TK

TK and Pip said...

Poor babies! My mom has me on,a die-it too. Just keep up with the sad eyes. .. that's what I do.
Your pal, TK

The Florida Furkids said...

Oh noes.....that's awful. We hope you can find some real live dead MEATS soon.

The Florida Furkids

da tabbies o trout towne said...

guys....reel live dead fish... bee it fake like ina can oh toona ore fresh catch iz healthee.....tell yur mom purrson thiz N may bee her will fallz for thiz trix ~~ ♥♥

Robyn Harton said...

Ijust saw a black flash go by toting a real live dead chicken. Probably Sanjee on the way. Maybe Pepi. Hang in ther guys!

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