Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Grownded for life

BILLY SWEETFEETS NORTON GINGERSNAP

ME is sorry mom lady person!! ME just wanted to see what snow feeled like again.  ME came back inside.  ok, after you hadded to chase me a little bit.  Come on, it was FUN FUN FUN!!! 

Please don't grownd me for life.  


Again. 

It's not like there was a foot of snow out there.  

MOL


Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Terrible Tuesday

MILES

Want to know why it's a terrible Tuesday?  Because the mom had HAM yesserday and "forgot" to save us some bites before she put some gross mouse-turd stuff all over it, and then said it was "too spicy" for us to eat.  This is my "I am very not happy with you" face


Thursday, December 24, 2015

The night before the meezers christmas - by the mom (or Miles posing as the mom)

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a Meezer was stirring, not even an Orinch Meniss
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there. (no not YOU Nicky, St Santy Paws)

The kitties were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of french toast (and other assorted treats) danced in their heads.
And the mom (that's me) in my tank top and shorts
Had just settled myself for a long winter's snork. (Miles I do not snork)

When down in the basement there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairs I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and tripped on the rug

The light  on the rug of the hallway below
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But three little meezers and a lot of crafting gear .

They were cutting some fabric so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment - wait, what are they doing to Nick?.
Faster and faster they cut and they glued,
And they whistled, and hollered, and called him some names!

"Now Nicky! now, Fuzzy! now, Snicky and Snacky!
Oh, Tilty! Oh, Crabby! oh Spinny oh Wonky!
Sit still you rug rat! Come on we have to finish!

And then they ran - like I had given them spinach (ok Miles are you happy I got that line in?)

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little ........ hoof? (how did they get on the roof?).
As I drew back my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney little St Nicholas came with a bound. (where did we get a chimney?)

He was dressed all in fleece, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. (where did that come from?)
A bundle of somethig he had flung on his back,
And it looked like canned tuna just stuffed in the pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
I noticed my makeup was all over the floor,
And was that a beard on his chin? oh good lord

Ok that wasn't a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
I think that was a bone from last night's roast beef
They had stuffed a pillow in his suit, strapped to his belly
Oh great, they smeared it with a ton of strawberry jelly

He started up towards the stairs with Miles in tow
He called out "SAMMY!!" are you done with that bow? .
Sammy came down the hall with a package in tow ,
And all of them started towards the stairs -they might see me - oh no!

I ran down the hall and jumped back into bed,
They came in the room and jumped on my head.
Santy Paws is here they hollered and hugged me tight
"We got you a present - you do like stinky goodness, right?" 



Merry Chrissymouse to all of our furriends - we love you all!!

Monday, December 21, 2015

The mom is getting coal

MILES

She maded French Toast for grammie and did NOT bring any home for me. She is totally getting coal from Santa Claws


Friday, December 18, 2015

The most popular thing heard at Casa De Meezer this week

SAMMY 

I have been hearing the same thing over and over this week and now I know that somecat is going to get a LOT of coal in their stockings. 

"For Bast's Sake Nicholas, get out of the tree"

MOL.  

This is why we haf not had a chrissymouse tree.  

For full disclosure sake, I haf also heard this

"Billy, STOP drinking the tree water" 

And this: 

"Miles, it's just a tree, it's not stalking you and it's not a serial killer, so you can just hush". 

And finally this: 

"Sammy, you are the bestest boy ever".  

MILES

Um, one of those things is a lie.  

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Is it mine turn?

BILLY SWEETFEETS NORTON GINGERSNAP

Is it mine turn to write a letter to Santy Paws? ME hopes so!!

Deer Santy Paws

It's ME - Billy.  The mom lady person says that ME is the bestest of all orinch meniss kitties in this howse - so ME KNOWS that ME has been very very very very very very good this year! 

ME doesn't want much for chrissymouse - ME has mine brofurs that ME loves, and ME has a woofie that ME loves, but ME is werried about him 'acause ME thinks he will be going to the Rainbow Bridge soon. ME has a mom lady person that ME loves too - even though she does not think so.  But ME has been doing better in showing her that ME loves her - like climbing up her legs and laying on her face and stuff like that.  ME thinks that she loves that - she usually hollers mine name really loud. ME has heard that when a lady hollers your name really loud she loves you a LOT!! 
ME would like only one thing for chrissymouse - ME would LOVE to dance with you Santy Paws!!! 

How about THIS: 


Monday, December 14, 2015

It's Monday and I'm feeling

MILES

It's Monday and I's feeling like I should write mine letter to Santy Claws.  

Deer Santy Claws

Do you think I has been a good boy this year? If so, then I would like some ham, turkey, bacon, chick-hen and cow all wrapped up in a nice big sammich.  Don't werry, it won't go bad, I will eat it fast.  

If I has not been a good boy, here are the reasons: 

1.  Nicky jumps on me and makes me scream like a little girl

2.  Sammy punches me and makes me scream like a little girl

3.  I do NOT scream like a little girl

4.  The mom does not follow me when I go into another room so I has to holler at her.  A LOT. 

5.  Is it really wrong that I sinff mine brother's, um, boo-tay and then try and kiss the mom? She says it's gross.  I say I has to make shur that mine brothers are who they say they are.  

6.  I do get impatient when I's waiting for the mom to finish eating her dinner and give me some - so I does smack the plate or try and pull the foods out of her hand.  But it's her fault - she does not give me foods ferst. If she would give me mine foods ferst, none of that would happen. 

7.  I did sneak a bite of something called an en-cha-la-da last night.  Flames did NOT shoot out of mine butt. The mom is a liar.  And I told her, but apparently that was WRONG.  

8. Sometimes I gets sad or upset when I read or hear about any animal being abandoned or abused, and I holler about it. The mom does not unnerstand and hollers at me to stop hollering at her. 

To sum it all up Santy Paws, I am woefully misunnerstood and I think that I has been a good boy, but sometimes I get confuzzled on the whole "good and bad" thing.  I does try though.  That counts for something, right? 

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Deer Santa Claws

SAMMY

Deer Santa Claws

I has been a good boy this year - the mom keeps telling me this, so it must be true.  No matter what that whiney brat Nicky says, I do not wander around all day telling him that I am "top cat" and that "the mom loves me the most" (even though she does, she says that I'm her favorite meezer with the dark blue eyes).  I may wander around telling them that the aliens are coming though. (BTW - the alien that lives 'ahind us has cancer, so say some purrs for Dutchess).  But overall, I am the good boy.  I don't want much for chrissymouse, maybe a nip cigar and a nip nanner, and for all kitties in shelters to find their forefur homes, and all kitties living outside to find warmth for the winter, and someone to love them.  And a tractor.  Maybe like this one: 



Or this one: 


If you really feel like it though, I would LOVE this one: 



Love

Your buddy Samuel Alfonse Meezer

Sunday, December 06, 2015

Meezer Monday

SAMMY

It's Meezer Monday and I just want to report this 

Previously, I have not liked any people foods except begetables.  

But, tonight I eated CHICK-HEN. From the mom's filthy hands. Well I ate two bites.  She gived me more but was not paying attention until she got up - I had spit all the other bites back out onto the cowch next to her and there was a pile if kind of horked up chick-hen.  MOL

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

Deer Santy Paws

NICHOLAS SANTAPANTS

Deer Santy Paws

Is it too early to write to you? I hopes not.  I think that I might have been kind of good this year, but I am werried that maybe I was not.  It's not like I run outside like mine Orinch Meniss brother, or wander around and scream at things all day and night like another brother, or shove mine tongue up mommy's nose like another brother (oops, maybe I did that once but it was nasty).  I think that I may have been bad because I do chase mine oldest brother around the house all the time and jump on him.  I don't know why except that he keeps wandering around either telling us he is the "top cat" and that mommy loves him most, or that the aliens are coming.  Both of those are crazy talk, and we think that he might need a little "help".  So I chase him and bite him.  
Santy Paws, what can I do to get on the "good kitties" list? Mine other brofurs say I'm going to get coal for chrissymouse.  What is coal? Can I play with it? Can I eat it? Why do bad kitties get coal? Anyway, I would like to get on the good kitty list, so let me know what I can do. 

Love from your adoring admirer

Nicholas FuzzyPants Meezer

I think I'm getting closer

MILES I think that I'm getting close to home!! I just hope mine plane stops and lets me off - otherwise I'll overshoot the house a...