Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday


My rule for today: don't sleep with your tongue sticking out if you really don't like your mommy flapping it with her finger and going "PPBPBPBPBPBPBPB" and "PPPBBBBBFFFTTTT" and laffin and laffin. How hoo-mil-ee-ating.


OH BOY!!! I was so 'acited last week to get your questions and I am going to answer some of them today!! I will answer more next week.

Here we go!!

From Auntie Bee (we loves you Auntie Bee!!): well my qwestion is this: when i whap sarge in the middle of the night and he wakes up am i supposed to act all innocent like? that is what i have been doing so far. i think he is getting wise. any ideas?
Auntie Bee: Yes, you is 'posed to act innocent like. If you tell him you was flapping your arms around because a mosquito was buzzing around your head, he will believe it and go back to sleep.

From Cecil: I fink I need more whapping techniques. I noticed I have just been going for the bitey lately and not been using my whapping skills. Do you have any new techniques?
Cecil, it's hard to give up the bitey, isn't it? Perhaps you could alternate using the bitey and whapping. Or, you would do a fake bitey and finish with a strong whap. That always confuses people. They will tell you to not bite it, but then while they are saying that, reach out your paw and WHAP

From Tiki, Tavi, Cody and Camie: I thought anything was fair game as far as whapping is concerned. Is that not so?
TTC&C: Everything is fair game, but you haf to unnerstand what can and can't be whapped in plain sight. It just saves you the trouble of trying to ignore the yelling when you whap something they consider "valuable"

From Parker: What's the rule for freshly planted flowers in a pot on the deck? Just the petals or the entire plant? Should I include the dirt? Please advise
Parker: oh the entire plant!! unless of course you like eating the petals (flowers, yummmmmmmm). Dirt should be included for that extra annoyance factor

From BeauBeau and Angie: Does one whap and then move, or is a whap in place technique preferable?
BeauBeau and Angie: It all depends on how much is in front of you. If the whappables are all in a group then whap in place, if they are in a line or spread out, whap and move.

From Dragonheart and Merlin: Sammy, what's the best way to avoid being attacked by the nasty water bottle when whapping?
Guys: I doesn't get the nasty water bottle, but everyone in a while I does get a wad of paper thrown at me (like THAT would deter me). My advice is to maintain a low profile while whapping to reduce the target area - crouch and whap my friends, crouch and whap.

The last question for the week is from my lovely girlfriend Abby (****blowin kissies****) SammyI tried to whap Boo last night but Momma stopped me in mid-paw (I was on her lap when I tried this man-knew-ver). I need to find a way to whap Boo without Mom stopping me.
Abby my sweet princess, It sounds like you need more speed behind your whap. I am willing to give you private tutoring sessions.

There are lots more wonderful questions to answer - and I may answer some of them this Friday as well, if mommy lets me.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tuesdays wif Bill


It's MEEEEEE! Today me has lots to talk about. Me has poll on blog - help me 'acide what to call the lady. The Lady locks me in my cage at night so she is The Warden Lady. (MILES: I needs to 'splain - Billy is a wild man and needs to give us a break at night, so he sleeps in his pen with his bed, blanky, litterbox, water and stinky goodness. it's not like he's in jail)
The Lady gives me foods so she is The Food Lady.
The Lady wipes my goopy eye all the time so she is The Eye Wiper Lady
The others say she is my mommy, so maybe she's The Mom Lady.
You help me 'acide.

Fings me hears around the house:
Billy, don't eat your brother's face
Billy, get out of the oven, it's hot you little (bad werd from the bad werd list). (SAMMY: And yet he CONTINUES to try and climb in the hot oven every time it's opened).
Billy, get out of the dishwasher
Billy, don't sit in my lettuce plants (MILES: Mommy grows lettuce by the kit-chen window. Billy sits in it)
Billy, get out the the fridgerfrator
Billy, get out of the cabinet
Billy, get out of the dryer
Billy, get out of the human litterbox (ME LIKES standing in it)
Billy, must you stand on me when I'm trying to take a baf?
Billy, why did you pee on the bed? (ME is in BIG BIG TROUBLE for that one, me has done it 4 times)
Billy, leave some foods for Sammy and Miles
Billy can't you sit still for 1 second?
Billy, will you ever love me? (me loves you lady, me is just not ready for kissies)

Monday, April 28, 2008

Meezer Monday Miles Report


Here is the Meezer Monday Miles Report:

The Mom Report: Mom is tired. Mom complains about being tired. Mom says she wants to sleep later than 5am on the weekends. She feeds us at 5:15am during the week, why can't she feed us at 5:15am on the weekends? Our stomachs doesn't know it's the weekend. Sheesh.

The Billy Report: Billy eats my foods. Billy imitates efurryfing I does. Like when I stand up on my back feets in the kit-chen and ask for bites of foods. Billy does it too. And then he tries to steal my bites of foods. Sheesh

The Sammy Report: Sammy was hiding again yesterday. For like eleventy eight hours. (mom says 4). Mommy finally finded his hiding spot in the corner unner the bed in Billy's room. Now Sammy is NOT HAPPY. He likes making mommy scream his name. Sheesh.

The Foods Report. NO HAM. enough said. SHEESH

The Blogging Schedule Report: Mommy says that we will now haf a blogging schedule 'acuase Billy is trying to muscle in on our blog.
Monday: Meezer Monday Miles Report
Tuesday: Tuesdays with Billy
Wednesday: Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday by Miles and Sam
Thursday: Meme or Award Day if we has any or Thursday 13 by Sam
Finally Friday: We will all rotate a Finally Friday post

SHEESH. We all needs our own blogs.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Finally Friday


We gotted tagged for 6 werd meme again from the blue cats (MILES: er, Bill, they're Russian Blue cats from Krasota Castle). ME has more to say!!!

1) Write your own six word memoir.
2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links.
5) Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.
6) Have fun!!

Brofurs. Snuggles. TOYS. Biteytoes. Life's good. oh! Chinese Food!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Another MEME


Our good furriend Jimmy Joe (who only lives about 80 miles from us!!) tagged us for a great meme!!! we is all gonna play!

1) Write your own six word memoir.
2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links.
5) Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.
6) Have fun!!

OK so here we go:

Whap. Whap. Whap. Love you mommy.

Look cute. Get ham. Feel Loved.

More love than I knew possible

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday

::SIGH:: here is my rule for today: STAY AWAY FROM THE WET KITTEN. You never know where he's been (except in this house were we all pretty much know where he's been, which is enough reason to stay away from him).


How are all of you doing with your whapping? I would like to take today to get feedback from all of you! Are the whapping lessons good? Do you learn things that you didn't know before? Please ask questions about whapping - techniques, how to determine what's whappable, acceptable whapping of the beans, anything you can think of. I will answer your questions next week!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Meme Tuesday


We has been tagged for this Meme! Billy was tagged by Sabrina, Sam and Simon and I was tagged by my friend Tigmut'hep, and I'm tagging Sammy!

1. Wif my beautiful eyes I can see
MILES: Billy standing in the human litterbox ::SIGH::
SAMMY: ALIENS!! ok, I can see fev-vers outside the slidy door!

2. Wif my soft nose I can smell
SAMMY: Billy ::SIGH::

3. Wif my velvet paws I can touch:
MILES: Mommy's face - I love touching Mommy's face
SAMMY: Mommy's hair - I love mommy's hair

4. Wif my sharp ears I can hear:
BILLY: The foods being put in the dish
MILES: The ham package being opened
SAMMY: The voices in my head. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. LALALALA I can't hear you!! hahahahahaha.

5. Wif my sandpaper tongue I can taste:
MILES: STEAK!! (I bet you thought I was gonna say HAM!)
SAMMY: Cat Grass!!!! and Corn Stalks!!!! YUM

This was fun!! If you haf not played yet, you should so we is tagging THE WHOLE CAT BLOGOSPHERE!!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Meezer Monday Miles Report - OH. MY.CAT Edishun


OH. MY. CAT. What a wild weekend here at chez Meezer. Let's get started:

1. The WHAT THE (insert werd from my bad werd list)?? report
Saturday morning mommy wented down to the dungeon to do some laundry and she started SCREAMING!! so, 'acourse we all hadded to go 'vestigate, even though Sammy is the only one allowed in the dungeon ('acause he talks to "the One Who Came Before" down there were only Sammy can see him) and HOLY (another werd from the bad werd list). There was water EVERYWHERE!!! I mean EVERYWHERE!!! So mommy called the landlord who called the repairbean who called Mommy and said "well, I'll be ofur Sunday to see what's wrong". More bad werds. Mommy started mopping and sweeping (and we doesn't haf a "sumppump" on our side of the townhouse, it's next door, and Miss Bonnie was not home!!). Mopping and sweeping and mopping and sweeping and screaming about boxes and stuff being ruint. She finally gotted the water down to a level where it was not ofur her shoes (about a squillion hours later) (ok, or 4 hours), and she wented upstairs. She wented down a hour later the water was back up ofur her shoes!! She finally finded out where the water was coming from - the hot water thingy springed a leak from the top and was pouring ofur the side. So, she turned the water off to the hot water heater and IT WAS STILL POURING OUT THE TOP! So she hadded to turn ALL the water off in the house. And she called the landlord again who called the repair bean who said he would be ofur in 3 hours (he lives a hour away). She telled him what was wrong and HE DIDN'T BRING ANOFUR WATER HEATER WIF HIM! (ok, blame the landlord for that, he wanted to know if a 18 year old water heater was still unner somefing called a "warranty" mommy laffed and laffed!) But the repair bean fixed the pipes so that we could haf water Saturday night and he was here early Sunday morning wif a brand new water heater. She FINALLY gotted the water all sweeped away and now she has to lug ruint stuff out to the trash this week. Oh well, she saided that she needed to get rid of stuff if we invoke the M-werd, so this forced her to do it. WHEW.

2. The Stranger report by Sammy
Mommy, I is sorry that I maded you scream my name for 2 hours after the repair bean lefted, and then again for anofur 2 hours after you gotted home from your errands. I didn't mean to make you cry and scream and think I excaped from the hosue and was losted. I cannot tell you where I was hiding 'acuase then you would know to look there in the fuchur. But, I will try and come out sooner so that you doesn't cry all ofur me and get my furs wet when I finally come out.

3. The "Mystery is Solved" report - By Miles
Ok, now we know why Billy is wet all the time. For those of you who guessed that he swims in the human litterbox, you was mostly right.
He stands in it.
Yes, you read that right. He STANDS in the human litter box.
All four feets sometimes.
Ok, Mommy does not close the lids on all of the human litterboxes because of somefing that happend to our furriends Knightly, Lizzie and Firenze 2 years ago (their mommy wented on bay-kshun to Africa and the pet sitter nefur showed up and they didn't eat for 2 weeks! forchunately, their mommy lefted the human litterbox lids open so that they hadded water). So mommy is now completely paranoid that if somefing bad happens to her and she cannot make it home for days on end that we will still haf water if we drink all the water in the FOUR (yes FOUR) water bowls we haf around the house. ::SIGH:: - welcome to our werld. She's completely insane.

4. The FOODS report
Ok, foods for the last week included: ham, steak, venison burger (OH. MY. CAT. that was DEE-LISH-US. Who knew that vishus deers tasted so good??), eggs, and cheese. and BACON.
Billy would like to add that Brussels Sprouts is good foods. Sammy, the begetable lover won't even touch them. Mommy would like to report that you should NEFUR let your kitty eat brussels sprouts. The poots is werse than broccoli. I would like to report that Billy is the strangest kitten in the whole werld.

That is the Meezer Monday Miles Report for today. I needs a nap.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Finally Friday


It's finally Friday. Mommy will be home all day tomorrow. YAY! Maybe she can help me figure out why Billy is always wet. I mean ALWAYS! His paws are wet all day.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Billy went to the v-e-t again


Me wented to v-e-t! Me has U-R-I. Me has fever. Me pooped on the lady (the mom lady). I was aksident though (sorry Max) the v-e-t lady squeezed my bottom after she invaded my personal private area. Me has to take nanner stuff again.


Yes, Billy has a URI. He has that awful clavamox to take. UGH. Mommy hadded to laff because while she was eating dinner, Bill was stealing her broccoli (it hadded cheese on it). When mommy burritoed up Bill to take him to the v-e-t she did not notice that he had a piece hidden in his mouth. When she gotted to the v-e-t and un-burritoed him, the broccoli popped out. Bill ate it while the v-e-t watched. The v-e-t was stunned. Hey, I LOVE broccoli! Then the v-e-t lady squeezed Billy's bottom and, well, let's just say Mommy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. On the way home, billy gotted the broccoli poots and stunk up the truck. Mommy gagged most of the way home (her window is broked and doesn't open). He was very happy when he gotted home.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday


Meezer Rule: stay away from the 2 foot long green boogers. They're dangerous.


Today's lesson is about the difference in stealth and obvious whapping and when to use each.

Stealth whapping - this is not whapping when no one is home. Stealth whapping is whapping when someone thinks they're watching you and you get one by them. Like when I sit on the bedside table and mommy looks over at me and says "don't you dare whap that remote control at my head" and then she blinks or closes her eyes for 1.8 seconds while she thinks about sleep and I whap it at her head. Shur, she could move the remote, but then I'd just whap something else like the water glass. Or the clock radio. both of those are werse than the remote.
I have trained Billy in obvious whapping. This is when you sit near a highly desireable whappable like pens, or the red dot and you reach out your paw and your mommy says "don't you dare whap that" and you turn around and look her right in the face and whap it. It's best if you do that all in one motion. Billy has not got that part down yet, that's advanced whapping, but he has the basics. Look in the eye, reach out and whap. And it's even better if she's saying "don't you dare............".

Your assignment this week is to try both of these methods and figure out which one is more fun for you.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tattle Tail Tuesday



oh, 'skuse me. I'll be wif you in a minute. BWWAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


BILLY JUMPED INTO THE TUB WHEN MOMMY WAS TAKING A BAF LAST NIGHT. Not FALLED, JUMPED. He was sitting wif me and Miles outside the tub and Mommy was doing whatever beans to in those places, and she was talking to us. And Billy just LEAPED into the air and JUMPED right into the tub. And he MISSED Mommy's lap and wented SPLASH. She screamed and grabbed him. She saided the water was HOT HOT HOT (she likes to look like a boiled lobster when she comes out of the tub. I think she sterilizes herself or somefing). and she throwed him unner some cool water and then wrapped him up in a towel. He didn't get hert but he shur was shocked!! Mommy says that because he cannot see from one eye, he has prollems seeing water and stuff. I think he's just INSANE.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Meezer Monday Miles Report- and it's HAPPY!!


Here is the Miles Report for today:

1. the GOOD NOOS report: We just gotted the noos the MuShue, Lilly Lu and Iris are OK!!! They was hiding in their 'partment all scairt. WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!

2. The Food Report: There was HAM, SAUSAGE, CHICK-HEN, and HAM last week. Also, Sheba and tem-tay-shuns. (I discovered that I does not really like the all natural tem-tay-shuns. But Billy will eat them after I spit them out).

3. The Foo-ton Dude report: The foo-ton dude was here this weekend. We hadded fun. Billy likded him too. but, he hadded to leave and go back to the foo-ton 'acause he's 'lerjik to cats and his eyes was all swelled up and he was wheezing and could not breathe. But we loves him anyway.

4. Here's Sammy wif the Alien Report:
SAMMY: The aliens have not been around lately. The backyard has been quiet and I haf not had to run in circles around the living room to alert mommy of alien presence.

5. The Health Report: My left eye is gooey again. Billy sneezed out a 2 foot long green booger yesterday, so he will haf to go to the v-e-t and get shot. Sammy is unaffected by goop or boogers. I will prolly haf green boogers soon too. Because Billy will not leave me alone.

6. Here is the Billy Report by Billy:
BILLY: Me likes foo-ton dude. Me loves Miles. Me loves FOODS. Me eats lots and lots and lots. Me is weezy and can't breafe. Maybe Me is 'lerjik to foo-ton dude!!! Me might haf to visit my friends at the v-e-t. YAY! Me likes the v-e-t. Me still thinking about calling the lady mommy.

I hope you enjoyed the Miles Report

Sunday, April 13, 2008

We are still purring for MuShue, LillyLu, Iris and MomLaura. Things seem much more hopeful today than they were Friday, so our purr machines are running over today.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

We are all purring and purraying very hard that MuShue, Lilly Lu and Iris were able to get out of the fire the destroyed their home. MomLaura is now homeless. The firemen were unable to find any signs of the kitties when they went into the apartment, which was completely charred. Please purr as hard as you can that MuShue, Lilly Lu and Iris were able to escape and climb down the patios to the woods. We are all completely heartbroken.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Finally Friday


The foo-ton dude* is here! But he didn't bring my foo-ton. I want my foo-ton! Billy meeted him and likes him!
OH! Billy slipped and kissded mommy too! Now all of a sudden he's thinking about calling her mommy. He's still not sure.

*For those who don't know, the foo-ton dude is MeezerDad. He has the bestest foo-ton in his compartment where he lives, but he keeps forgetting to bring it up here when he visits.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Thursday Thirteen


Thirteen things we haf done to make mommy feel guilty for going back to werk

1. Miles gotted herpes in bof his eyes, along wif pink eye (and he's all better now)
2. Billy refuses to snuggle her
3. I continually kick her in the head or push her head off the pillow while she is sleeping
4. refusing to eat stinky goodness (although this does not werk lots of time. she just says "it's there eat it or starve". we know she would nefur starve us.
5. whapping, whapping and more whapping
6. sitting on her when the beepy thing goes off in the morning
7. Billy coughs and wheezes lots when she's getting ready to go to werk
8. Miles hollers at her in the morning
9. Billy bites her fingers all the time
10. I make her scritch my hiney in the morning and when she stops i give her the sad eyes and flop over to make her do it more
11. tip over the cruncy bowls and then act like we have not had anything to eat in days
12. same with the water bowls
13. sit in front of the door to keep her from leaving

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday


Here's my rule for today: Not keeping to your normal nightly routine will make the mom get up and search the house for you at 3am. When that happens, quick jump into your normal sleeping spot on the bed and pretend you've been there all along.

Good times!


For our whapping lesson today, we will concentrate on the human litterbox room. We have a wonderful human litterbox room. We haf what mommy says are "dormer" windows in the upstairs human litterbox room, and that means we have GIANT WIDE windowsills. We can lay in our windowsills and stretch out crosswise and lengthwise. The best thing is that this windowsill is next to the human litterbox. AND mommy uses it to keep "woman smelly stuff" on - like powder and perfumes and bubbles for the bath and stuff like that. And the human litterbox paper stuff ('acause I used to shred it when it was on the holder). And they're all great whappables. And they are most fun to whap when someone forgets to close the lid on the human litterbox. It's so much fun to watch mommy's reaction to seeing a giant wet roll of human litterbox paper soaking in the bowl. I just get so much joy from that.
Your homework this week is to see how much stuff you can fit in the human litterbox - or the sink! the sink is always good too!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Billy is a BAD BOY


Me sowwy. me not know that me not 'llowed to go outside. me didn't mean to make you cry lady. me did not go far. me sowwy that me did not let you catch me right away. me just wanted to haf fun. me won't do it again lady.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Meezer Monday Memes


Our wonderful friend DaisyMae Maus has gived us this awesome award! We is so very honored! Thank you so much DaisyMae!

Book Meme:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.

Well, apparently our mommy ill-lit-er-ate, she can only read magazines or something, so we will have to do the meme on the Martha Stewart magazine.

hmmm, page 123 is an ad. Pg 122
line 5-8
To remove oil that has leaked from a car's engine, blot with paper towels
Then cover the spot with cat litter and leave overnight
Remove the litter and repeat until oil is no longer being absorbed.

Hmmm, i can find better things to do with cat littler. like poo in it.

Mommy is giving us a day to think about who to tag.

BillyBoy wented to the v-e-t Saturday for his last round of kitten shots. He has gained about 3 pounds since he camed to live with us - he now weighs 6.7 pounds. (well, we really don't think he weighs that much, 'acause he eated an entire 3.5 ounce can of stinky goodness right 'afore he lefted the house. Then he burped in the v-e-t's face.). The v-e-t tolded mommy that when he wented for his hoo-ha-ectomy, efurryone falled in love wif him and wanted to keep him. They was going to find anofur kitten for mommy to take home, but they figured she might notice. The v-e-t saided that 10 minutes after he waked up, he started playing in his cage, so the assistants taked turns holding him and cuddling him all day. He was hardly in his cage at all until mommy camed to get him. and get this HE PURRRED FOR THE V-E-T! I tolded him to pee on her, but he didn't. he PURRRED. ::SIGH:: he's so untrainable.

and Oh, i did a very bad thing yesterday while mommy was sleeping. I bit her top front personal and private area. She was NOT happy with me. I didn't know it was there. I was kind of playing with a toy on the bed and got a little out of control. I would like to publick-lee state right now: Mommy, I am sorry for biting your personal private area and I won't do it again.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Know what's not good?


The lady tried to poison me.


Billy, it's not being poisoned if you stick your head in the cup of hot sauce and lick it.




hee hee. You're ok dude.

Thursday, April 03, 2008



Get a Voki now!

Me likes efurryone in catblogosphere!!

My turn!

Get a Voki now!


Get a Voki now!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday


My rule for today is: You just can't fool all the smart kitties of the blogosphere!


Young Bill continues to do well with his whapping lessons. Every night this week mommy has come home and almost cried with joy over finding everything knocked off tables.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Tattle Tail Tuesday


I think that you-know-what froze over last night. Miles only ate ONE BITE of HAM and then went upstairs to bed! I SWEAR TO BAST. Really. No April Fool's joke.

Maybe it was the half a chick-hen leg he ate from mommy's dinner plate that filled him up. He and Billy wented to town on her dinner and mommy only hadded about 2 bites of chick-hen 'afore Billy planted himself on the plate and started tearing it up. Miles took a few big moufuls. They was acting like PIGS. So a couple of hours later when mommy was getting ready for bed, she called him down for a piece of ham, and he only taked ONE BITE and then went upstairs to bed.
Yeah, I was SHOCKED.

Update on us

SAMMY I had a v-e-t appointment last week and the v-e-t is kind of werried 'acause i might haf another skin cancer starting.  she will...