Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Wednesday Rant

MILES

MEMO

TO: The Mom

FROM: The Meezers

RE:  The ROOLS and your blatant disregard of them.  


Couch time is for ME and SAMMY.  Billy can sometimes come on the couch for scritches.  It is NOT time for any wobbly snotty stinky rugrat to crawl all ofur me and sneeze in my face or shake his head and fling boogers on me.  If you want scritchy time with the little snotbag then GO IN THE FORBIDDEN ROOM WHERE HE LIVES.  When he is less wobbly and snotty then I will THINK about allowing him in on couch time.  


Oh, and please STOP with the "get your fat butt off my knees" crap.  Your fat legs take up too much room and I have no choice but to lay across your fat knees.  And you know, it's not really that comfortable.  So what I'm saying is it's your own fault.  



Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Meezer Tuesday

SAMMY

::SIGH:: The little snotbag LIKES  ME.  He sits next to me and stares at me and PURRSS AT ME.  I hissed at him once, and then I growled at him a few times but now I just stare back at him.  I feel kind of sorry for him 'acuase he's still tilty like Miles and he keeps blowing boogers out his nose.  But, he maded a FURRY BIG faux pas: HE PEED IN BILLY'S HAM-MICK. That's not a way to make inroads around here. 

Monday, December 28, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report

MILES

Here is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today:

The Foods Report:  The mom smoked a whole slab of bacon this weekend!!! I gotted a little taste and it's PAWSOME!!! Oh, and I gotted some roast beast too!

The mini-meezer man report: Well, the mom is leaving it to us to see if Nicholas stays: Billy loves him and says YES.  Sammy hates him and says NO (of course he saided NO to me and billy too, but now he loves us). I doesn't care.  So we is tied.  Nicholas' head is still tilted and he sneezed about a squillion times in a row yesterday afternoon.  Boogers was flying efurrywhere.  So now his new name is Snotnose Stinkypants.  Oh he weights 2.8 pounds and is about 8 weeks old.  He is furry furry purry all the time. 

Now, here is Mr Crankypants wif the alien report - Sammy:  There are more and more aliens around here.  They are moving in at a rapid rate.  we haf some new weener aliens, and a new spotty alien and 2 new little yappy aliens.  maybe hafing a new meezer in the house is a good idea - so they doesn't start to outnumber us.   Back to you thunder thighs.

Miles:  The what did Billy do to get in trouble this week report:  Well he was being all good and babysitting the little snotnose and then he 'acided to run out of the house when the mom was going out, and he ranned all the way down the driveway and THEN - he RANNED OUT INTO THE ROAD.  And the mom SCREAMED and he gotted scairt and ranned down the road 2 houses 'afore he let the mom catch him.  He was laffin and laffin and she was cursin and cryin. 

That is the meezer monday miles report for today

Pee Ess: we is going to try and get around and wish efurryone happy hollydays- our the mom is tired running around to see grampie in the rehab place and trying to make shur that grammie is ok too.  so we is sorry if we is not around too much. But MERRY CHRISSYMOUSE and HAPPY NOO YEAR to all of you.  We loves you all furry much and we is so happy to be part of the wonderful CB!!!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

um......... not again............

SAMMY

::SIGH:: um, so........... we has been off line for a couple of day's 'acuase our the dad camed to visit us, and we hadded our chrissymouse early.  Our grampie is not doing furry well - he's still in rehab but he falled and split open his arm, and he's furry 'afused.  and it makes our the mom furry furry sad. 

So, yesserday, a few hours after our the dad lefted, one of the mom's furriends called her.  She has a furriend who has meezers, and also lifs on a farm, and the mommycat there hadded kittens about 2monfs ago.  one of the little boy kittens gotted out of the house.  the little boy meezer gotted into the barn and somefing happened to him - he might haf gotted kicked in the head by a beastie, or maybe he just has a vestibular prollem like Miles has.  But, the mommykitty and his littermates will not go near him.  So the mom's furriend askded if the mom could take the little guy for "a while".  The lady who has the meezers will pay our the mom back the green papers for the v-e-t visit.  Our v-e-t hospital is the bestest in the county and our the mom agreed.

So.............. we has a baby meezer boy here.  Our the mom says that we're "fostering" him for now.  It all depends on what's wrong wif him and if he can get better.  He has a prollem walking and tipping ofur and he also has a cold.  Our the mom says that she is calling him Nicholas Fuzzypants (Nicholas for St Nicholas) and Fuzzypants 'acuase he's a furry fuzzy meezer. 

We hopes that this little boy will be ok.  We will try and get pikshurs put up, but the mom's camera battery keeps dying after only a couple of pikshurs. 

Meowy Chrissymouse

alt

Friday, December 18, 2009

Deer Santa Paws

BILLY SWEETFEETS NORTON GINGERSNAP

Deer Santa Paws

ME has been a GOOD BOY this year!! ME would like to haf mine OWN IPOD so that me can ::dancedancedance::.  ME would also like to haf mine mom lady person let me go OUT whenefur ME wants to.  ME LOVES THE OUT!!! Oh, and ME would like to haf mine own woofie.  ME LOVES WOOFIES!!!!! 

LUF
Billy SweetFeets Norton Gingersnap

MILES

Deer Santa Paws

I fink that I haf been a good boy this year too.  I would like it if the mom could stay home all day so that I can snuggle her.  Oh, and I would like a sweater.  I doesn't know what happened to mine, except that maybe that lunatic Sammy stealed it or used it in some sort of exorcism in the basement.  Oh, and also, if it's possible, I would like some foods that doesn't make me barf.  

Sincerely
Your friend Miles Phillippe Meezer

SAMMY

Deer Santa Paws

How are you doing? I know that you is furry busy this time of year so my list will be short.  I think that I have been pretty good - except for the times I kick mom in the head or bite her legs, but those time she really deserves it.  
I am wondering if you could deliver the following to my house: 
An EVP machine so that I can tape the ghosts in the dungeon
Mine own alien hunting equipment - or at least an "alien to meow" translator dikshonary
Bi-nok-u-lers so that I can try and read the aliens lips when they is outside and I am inside 
mine own video taping equipment - again, for the ghosts in the dungeon.  
Santa Paws, people think that  I am a lunatic or crazy or batty, but I'm not.  You know that right? I am just sensitive.  I know YOU understand me Santa Paws.  

Love
Samuel Alfonse Meezer "Sammy" 

Thursday, December 17, 2009

It's that time of year again

MILES

3 years ago, my furriends Grr, Midnight, and Cocoa challenged me to make up a chrissymouse song about Ham, to the tune of Jingle Bells (it was to raise $ for a sick cb kitty at the time).  Well, I did, and it has become a inter-nash-a-nul phe-nom-a-nom (mmmmm noms).  (Sammy's note: if by international you mean more than you remembers that you efen writed it, then, maybe. )

::clears throat:: Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, here it is, by popular demand (Sammy's note: if by popular demand you mean you trying to call radio stashuns and request somefing that was nefur recorded...) ::jumps on Sammy and takes him down::................

::ahem:: here is 

Hammy Smells 

Dashing frough the house
on my four furry feet
mommy's at the cold box
getting me a treat

On my feets I run
For a treat that is YUM YUM
I can't wait to get it
into my tum-tum

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH......

Hammy Smells
Hammy Smells
Hammy Smells so fine
and the taste
oh my gosh
it is so deeeeeeeeee-vine

City Ham
Country Ham
dices cubes and slices
salty good
piggy good
tastes better than mices


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Wintry Wednesday

SAMMY

oh the weafur outside's delightful, the aliens are frightful.  they don't like getting cold, let it snow let it snow let it snow..........


frosty the alien, was a yippy yappy soul, he was made of fur, but i'm really shur, that his heart beats greeeeeennn blood............

 

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Dancing Tuesday wif Billy SweetFeets

BILLY SWEETFEETS

WOW.  our the mom says that you the moms will like this - iffen they was teenagers back then.  otherwise they will think that's it's really funny - like our the mom does ('acuase she's really really OLD).


Monday, December 14, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report

MILES

The WHAT THE HECK??? report - WE WAS ABANDONED this weekend.  The mom wented to see the dad and DID NOT TAKE US.  SHE saided that it would be too stressful for me 'acuase I gets all upset when I has to go to in the metal monster and Billy would haf hollered the whole way.  But the weather was bad on Sunday so it's a good thing we didn't go wif her.

The Foods Report - well, I hadded some steak and the mom opened up a can of toona for me and Billy. 

The crazy report .......... er alien/ghost/psycho report by our resident whack job Sammy: Uh, thank you sissy boy.  I gotted into the dungeon and talked to the ghosts.  It seems that they are NOT happy when I cannot communicate wif them.  I told this to the mom and she just saided "oh Sammy, you're so cute but you always get in trouble down there".  ::SIGH::
back to you oh thunder thighs. 

Miles: you ARE NUTS. 

The What did Billy do to get in trouble this week report: well, not nearly as much as his furriend IGMU.  But I knows that Billy is getting for chrissymouse and BOY WILL HE BE HAPPY. 

That is the meezer monday miles report for today

Friday, December 11, 2009

Finally Friday - akshuall ON Friday

MILES

Sheesh, our the mom is FINALLY straight on her days this week! There's just somefing wrong wif her brain! Holy Bast!!!  She stayed home and werked from home yesterday 'acause of all the snow, and she didn't efen get our BREKFEST to us until LUNCH TIME.  Then she almost forgotted DINNER.  So, while she was on the cowch werking, Sammy gotted 'ahind her head on the top of the cowch and kicked her in the head a few times.  

Oh, and she putted up our TREE!!! A real tree.  And Sammy started eating it.  And Billy tried to pull if ofur.  It is a bare tree right now - she says "we'll see if it gets any decorations".  Santy Paws might think we is not in the chrissymouse spirit and not leaf purresents for us if the tree is not decorated!  

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wondering Wednesday - now on Thursday 'acuase our the mom is stoopid

BILLY SWEETFEETS

ME is wondering if ME has been a good enuf boy to get chrissymouse purresents?? ME has tried to be a good boy, but Miles telled me that Santy Paws watched efurrytime ME ranned out of the house and maded the mom lady person sad and mad and cry.  ME didn't mean to do all of that.  ME hopes Santy Paws knows that.  How can me tell Santy Paws that ME is sorry?????

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Thankful Thursday - now on Wednesday because the mom is stoopid

SAMMY

I's thankful that the orinch meniss has stopped blog hogging!!!! 

I haf been in a whapping frenzy lately - I've whapped stuff at the mom's head while she is sleeping (her eye glasses case, the tv remote, her bottle of stomach stuff, and some lotion). I've whapped crap off the dining room table while she is at werk, and I've whapped stuff off the big windowsill in the human litterbox room - into the trash so that she has to go digging around to get it out.  

I rule!  

HOLY CATPOOP!! THE MOM PUTTED THE WRONG POST UP TODAY!! AHHHHHHHHHH.  I'S SO 'BARASSED.  AHHHHHHHHH 

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Monday, December 07, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report

MILES


Here is the Meezer Monday Miles Report



The Foods Report: Turkey, chick-hen, bacon and pork rib.




The Billy Report: Well, it's been quite a 'aciting weekend around here. Billy um, volunteered, to be Dr Buddy's ferst brain surgery patient. The surgery wented ok, and we finally finded out why he is weerd. Go read all about it.


Now here's our resident whack-o to talk about another resident whack-o: Sammy Meezer here with some furry 'aciting and disturbing noos:  BILLY IS AN ALIEN.  Well that seems to be the consensus after his surgery.  That and the fact that he seems to be able to communicate with the aliens in the neighborhood.  Especially the one next door.  And the fuzzy white one that comes to visit us.  But the surgery results 'esplain ALOT. 

Back to you oh tub of goo.

::SIGH:: why do I drive myself crazy week after week?

Friday, December 04, 2009

FINALLY Friday

BILLY SWEETFEETS

GUESS WHAT?????  Grampie is getting out of the horspital today and going to see someone called Rehabe.  AND  The Mom Lady Person said that she would gif ME all the back pay - so ME gotted 5 tem-tay-shuns last night!!! AND THEN she saided that I deserved a bay-k-shun so ME does not haf to werk for the next week or two. 

OH and ME wants to send out chrissymouse cards - does anyone want one? If you does, please send ME a email at themeezers AT gmail DOT com.   YAY!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Wait a minute Thursday

BILLY SWEETFEETS

Wait a minute, ME is 'posed to get PAID for my jahb? ME did not know this.  How does ME na-go-she-ate a kontrakt? ME wants to get paid for werking.  ME thinks that the Mom Lady Person is sneaky and cheap and doesn't want to pay me. 

Dancing Wednesday and MY JAHB!!!

BILLY SWEET FEETS

ME has some werk music to dance to today. 




And this is ME doing MY JAHB.  Being a paper jammer is a hard jahb.  (If you put your mouse ofur the pikshur you can see the steps ME has to take in my jahb)



Tuesday, December 01, 2009

NOT Dancing with Billy today

BILLY

::Glaring at the mom lady person:: WHAT???? My kitty doods and doodettes DEPEND on Dancing wif Billy Toosdays.   YOU BETTER help me find a really really really good danse for TOMORROW then.  Oh, AND you also haf to show the pikshurs of me WERKING at my new jahb.  

SLACKER.  

::gives Mom Lady Person the cold shoulder::

the hots

NICHOLAS HOTPANTS we has the hots here, and we knows that some of you haf efen WERSE hots.   So, we is going to be hosting a pawty somew...