The Foods Report: YES!!! ham AND real live dead shrimps!! And eggs and bacon. And left ofur prime rib from the place the mom and the dad man person wented to dinner.
The Dad Man Person report: We is trying to teach Billy that LADY means someone like the MOM. But he's 'afused. He loves the dad though, and would lick his face while he was asleep.
Here with The Alien Report is our resident whacko Sammy: Um, yeah, thanks lard butt. The Aliens was quiet all week last week and all weekend. They must be plotting something really bad. I will haf to do extra patrols this week. Back to you lardo.
Um, yeah, you crazy weirdo.
The "what did Billy do this week to get in trouble" report: Well, really, aside from calling Dad the Dad Lady Person, not much. He's been pretty good this week. Singing in the bathtub wasn't really bad as it mad the mom laff.
The Lets Help A Furriend Report: our good furriend Zeus has a good furriend Laney that is in a contest. They are collecting green papers to help furries find furefur homes. That's always a good thing. So please stop by Zeus' place and find out about Laney and maybe go visit her and help out!!!
That is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today. And remember these werds of advice: if you want to learn how to fly, just stick your tongue up your person's nose while they sleep.
HAPPY PURRFDAY MEEZERMOM Today we is fankful that you is our mom. We is glad that we live wif you and that you take care of us. - Sammy, Miles and Billy
PEE ESS: Efen though lately you is lame and has not helped us visit our furriends and they prolly hate us and stuff. But Happy Purrday anyway.
UPDATE: MeezerMom here. Thank you for all of the lovely purrfday wishes! You all have brightened my day . Now, I have to apologize to young Miles as he is REALLY hissed-off at me right now. See, last year, we decided that Miles gotcha day would be my birthday, because he came to live with us from the house he was born in, right around my birthday. Well, me being the feeble minded meezermom that I am I kind of forgot. So, sweet little Miles, I am very sorry that I hogged your gotcha day with my birthday. I will make sure that you have some ham and maybe some real live dead shrimp when meezer dad comes home this weekend. You know, for your gotcha day and not for my birthday. and No, he's not bringing the foo-ton with him. But that's beside the point. Happy Gotcha Day little Poosie-man. Mommy loves you!!!
MILES: do you all think that is a good enough apology for forgetting my gotcha day? I mean really, Sammy and I get the short end of the stick because the mom never wroted down our gotcha days and we know what Billy's is, so he gets a purrfday AND a gotcha day and we only gotted purrfdays until this year. And then she goes and FORGETS. on my ferst officially sellybrated gotcha day she FORGETS. I's not hissed off so much as dissapointed in the mom. BUT, it's her purrfday and I does love her lots, so I will forgive her. For now. If there's no ham this weekend all bets is off. I love you Mommy!!!
Um, it's 5:21am Wednesday and you're JUST helping me wif my post? Yeah yeah yeah, migraine. whatefur. Just help wif the post and go to werk. I'll get ofur it.
Oh, and Sammy, dude, it really is me and not an alien. Please stop with the identity checks. (somehow Sammy now thinks he's a woofie and instead of doing the nose sniff, he has to sniff my very personal private area efurry time I walk by).
BILLY uh, mom lady person? ME has NO idea WHY there was kitteh type wet feets prints all ofur the house when you gotted home. and ME has NO idea HOW me gotted wet!! ME was sleeping and then you camed home and ME was wet. YOU must haf picked me up and putted me in the water, then putted my feets prints all ofur the floors. You is a weerd mom lady person.
Pee Ess: why doesn't we haf a box pikshur up!! oh, wait, we doesn't sit in boxes. The Mom Lady Person puts them out and we ignore them. Howefur, if there's efur a internashunal hide in the paper bag day, we're in!
SAMMY I fail to see why I should be thankful for a the mom who continually does NOT watch where she is sitting. I'm going to be very flat soon. Or very wet, 'acuase she does not watch for me to be using the human litterbox to get onto the big windowsill.
would any of YOU be thankful for a the mom like that?
MILES Here is the Meezer Monday Miles Report for today:
The How Much Trouble Can Billy Get Into Report: whereas last week Billy was a 7 and lots of you kitties told him how good he was, he went on a 3 day bender and is now up to a 12 on a scale of 1-10. Or as The Mom says, "he gave me a 4 advil weekend".
The Foods Report: WHIPPED CREAM ROCKS.
The Alien Report - by Sammy and Special Repurrter Billy: Take it away wacko. I mean Sammy: Thank you fatbutt. I sent junior repurrter and alien attracter Billy out to gather intel. This is his report: FANK YOU. ME wented out and talked to Cujo, Marley, Dutchess and guest alien Taylor. Ferst the all hadded to sniff my hiney. That was kind of personal and ME did not 'presheate it. Sammy wanted me to ask him what their plans is that they seems to be making. But all they said was "sniff sniff sniff woof sniff sniff woof". Can any woofie translate? Back to you Sammy: It's all furry inneresting. Back to you fatso Miles.
uh, Fank you. You're both insane in the brain.
The shopping report: We gotted a new litter boks. Our Breeze boxes were great, but somecat (whacko and junior whacko) kept hanging their butts out of them, so now we haf a huge giant litter boks. it's almost like a swimming pool.
My health report: well, i'm still tilty but not dizzy. but i'm barfy again. but it's the mom's fault - she gotted the old kind of foods with the grains in them and i started barfing again. she saided it was 'acuase we ranned out and our pet food store was closed. so, lesson to the mom: nefur let us run out of foods again or I will continue to barf in your path to the litterbox room in the middle of the night.
SAMMY Fank you efurryone for coming to mine purrfday party! we hadded TONS of fun - ceiling walking, cat tree races, balloon chases, lots of eating and drinking! It was a great way to cellybrate!! But i'm a little hung ofur today - how 'bout you?
Welcome to my purrfday party! Come on in and haf a nip-tini, or a bloo toona gizzy, or a meow-garita, or milk for the under 1 crowd. There is also shrimp, crab, ham, and other assorted goodies on the buffet table. We have some kitty condos for resting or socializing (or having races up and down) and luxurious beds for napping. And there's a HUGE basket of toys!!
I'm so happy you all are here to celebrate with me!!!!
The Foods Report - this past week I hadded some chick-hen and some pork ribs and a little bit of eggs. not bad but not a great week.
The health report - well fellow kitties, my tiltiness has come back. I'm not really dizzy but my head is all tilty again and it made my mommy cry last night.
The Alien Report by our resident whacko Sammy: well, thank you Fatso. The aliens seemed to have a 4am meeting on Sunday morning - lots of noise making. It must haf been a call home to the mothership or something. Back to you Miles.
uh, you are just so whacked Sammy.
The How Much Trouble did Billy Get Into This Week Report - well, he was akshually a better boy than last week. He wasn't great but on a scale of 1 to 10, his badness was down to about a 7.
Now, a 'portant announcement for my fellow Meezers (and non-meezer siblings of meezers, and maybe some significant others too)
This Wednesday (the 10th) is Meezer Colors Day. Please please participate with some great pikshurs of you wearing or laying on some colors that make your meezer furs POP!! Last year we hadded a great number of you participating, and we hope to haf efen more this year!!! There will be a speshul post up on Simply Siamese as well!!!
SAMMY Not so much of a conversation, more like the ranting of an isane person
Billy, get off the screen BILLY, GET OFF THE SCREEN BILLY (insert various werds from bad werd list here) GET OFF THE SCREEN sheesh - thank you for getting down
Miles, how in the werld did you get your claw stuck in a USB port on my laptop?
Oh Sammy, you are so soft and silky. I love petting your sweet little face. You're such a good boy. No, you don't need to reach for that. Sammy, don't whap.......... ::SIGH:: Sammy, why do you have to be so bad?
ME is sorry that ME has been too buzy to answer your queschuns this week, so ME will answer them now.
1. ME? ME is doing Nothing j. ME is up here 'acuse, er, um.......... oh yeah! ME is up here 'acause the weather is better up here %. Just a minute, ME has to finish clearing off a place for ME to sit up here. Now, what was your queschun? 9. WHY does we haf to haf this same conversashun ofur and ofur? ME doesn't know - ME unnerstands the queschuns, maybe YOU has hard time unnerstanding the answers? ME doesn't think it's my prollem at all.
Here is my rant for today: When you're sitting around watching your the mom eat, and she's NOT sharing her chick-hen wif you 'acuase "hey dude, I get to eat my food ferst not you", don't EFUR, EFUR, EFUR stick your paw in the potato salad and then lick it.
No, the mom, it's NOT funny. Not funny at all. Stop Laffing. STOP IT.
MILES Here is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today - the "wah wah" edishun
The "wah wah" part - The Mom is going "wah wah wah my back herts, I can't move, I can't bend ofur wah wah wah" oh so what? so you mofed your the mom and your the dad this weekend - it's not like you hafn't mofed 'afore. you know what it's like. suck it up and act like a adult.
The Foods Report - well, this past week I haf had eggs, bacon, chick-hen and HAM!! HAM HAM HAMMITY HAM HAM!!!!!
The Alien Report - by Sammy "the whacko" Meezer - yeah yeah yeah, the aliens are out there making noise and slobbering all ofur the ground - does you think that's how they multiply? by slobbering their alien dna all ofur the ground for it to grow? Back to you Miles
uh, right. I have no response to that.
The "what is Billy in trouble for this week" report. Billy has been BAD BAD BAD. He gotted up on the forbidden furnichur and into the new furnichur and into the forbidden room. And then the mom hadded to yell at him, but he nefur lissens and then she hadded to get up and then she wented "wah wah wah it HERTS" and then he looked at her and laffed.
The weather report - it's May 31 (we has to write our posts 'afore bed) and right now it's 45 degrees outside. Global warming? I think not.