SAMMY
I haf a bad bad prollem. And it's akshually not the little pirate/fisherman/alien freak that lives with me. it's the other thing that lives with me - the mom.
Lately, she has been emitting the most bast-awful screeches and howls and screams. She has also been dancing around the house. My ears cannot take it anymore. She bounces up and down upstairs and I think that the ceiling is going to collapse. There are THINGS growing out of her ears. Things with black tips and long tendrils that are attached to a small alien transmitter. She attaches it to her 'puter and then she plugs it into her ears and starts wif the screeching. I'm going to haf a nervous breakdown if it doesn't stop. I haf whapped it off the table and unner the couch. I haf whapped it off the nightstand and unner the bed. She keeps finding it. It is the bane of my existance (HA! Bet you didn't even think I knew those werds!) It's
it's
it's
an IPOD.
And it must DIE.
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36 comments:
Wow, our Mom does this too - only the long tendrils are white instead of black. Is there any cure for it? Do you know how to kill it?
Lizzie
Screeeching, Miles? What on earth is she listening to? Still, killing the iPod sounds proper just on principle alone.
If you get the opportunity to kill it, please please please get it on videotape. I would like to see it.
Oh that's easy. Bite the tendrils into many many pieces.
Luf, Us
LOL! You could mail it to me. I would be happy to take care of it for you.
Yeah,I wanna see the video if ya destroy it too,heehee
Sometimes Mom sits at her'puter wif things over her ears and makes noises(not screeches,thanks be)and gets all squirmy in her chair.
Gotta be aliens!!!!!!!!!
My DadBean has the same problem - do you think it's something catching???
MomBean's finally given up talking to him because he can't hear her!
When you kills your mom's iPod thingy, can you come here and kill ours?
Moe & Mindy
OH OH OH!!!! Do you think that is how the Borg assimilated Cheysuli and Miles?!
Hahahahaha, if I see you kill the IPOD I will be the IPOD killer's accomplice~!
But, I support you~! HEHEHEHEHE~!
Oh your suffering it too much... At least my Mummy only uses her IPOD in the scary machine and then only if she's on her own and can howl without the family moanin' at her! ;) The trick is to train you Mom and not to kill the IPOD! :)
Oh, please put it to death!
We knew there was a reason we loved you guys. You are so funny. Let us know how you do.
Roxy
Sammy
It must be an alien dat gotta into yur houze...time to take action. Keep whappin dis IPOD (gudness dat eefun sounds like an alien!) and soon it will stop oo and take does long long tendrils and hide dem in yur secrit hiding placey...take pixchurs!
***wavin paws***
Bye Miles
Boo, Ping, Jinx and Gracie
***blowin kisses****
Bye to my sweet handsome strong floofy cocoa puffs
Purrs and Nosekisses
Your adoring little petite flower
~Abby
Thanks for the warning! Deb doesn't have one of those IPOD thingys, but I'll keep a careful watch out for one. Best of luck on your IPOD hunting. I've got your back!
Freckles
We have one of those at our house, too. Whapping does not work. You just gotta put the bitey on the cords. Any cord that you can find. It shut ours up for a while.
Good luck!
Love,
Tazo
Perhaps you could drag it by it's long tail and plop it in the human litterbox, then figure out how to make the big splashy thing happen
Da human litterbox sounds lyke a reely gud idear. My mummy onlee lissens to herz wen she is owtside. She sez she is lernin Chinese, wot ever dat is. As long as I dont haf to lern it too !!!
I hates the iPod. When I tried to put the bitey on the cord, Mum shrieked and hid it...
Does the phrase " Resistance is futile" sound familiar?
Maybe Fiona and Orlando could put the bitey on it real good...
We think she is being assimilated. Ours is glassy eyed when she sits at the computer. These aliens have thousands of ways and they don't hesitate to use any of them. Beware!
Our Mommy has something like that but the thigns that go to her ears are white. She looks funny when they are in her ears too!
Hahaha, dad has one of those but he has nothing on it...he akshooally can't figger out how to work it. Mom has offered to show him but he yells and sez he'll figger it out himself and she'll just put her moosik on it and he wants his on it and DON'T TOUCH IT! So mom gots her own (it's a cheeper thing, not an ipod) and sometimes she SINGS AND DANCES wif it on...Beans is weerd.
If you need help hiding it, I can come over and bring Holly and Ivy. We are all experts at slapping and breaking things, and I can hide stuff really well. If you need it killed, maybe Dana can chew on it.
Sammy, that contraption sounds very dangerous and bad.
I tried to whack the wires out off of Mommy’s head and she told me “no, Scout”. I was just trying to protect her (and my very sensitive ears). These things are evil and must be destroyed either by my paw or some other way I can think of!
Does she sing show tunes??
My mum has an MP3 player somewhere but she doesn't use it much, in fact I think she lost it. She likes to play her music out loud and inflict it on me and my dad.
Oh ... iPods are a real nuisance. Sometimes Mom listens to hers when I'm trying to sleep. She gets mad if I try to bite the cords that go into her ears.
DMM
OH NO!!!!!! My Meowm has been talking about one of those things! I guess I will have to put the bitey on it if she brings one home!
Oh no Sammy! Our Mommy has been doin somefin like dat too! She sez she's werkin but that fing on her head makes her screech. She didn't usedta screech while she werked. We gotta figger owt how to stop this iPod plague!
Purrrrrrrrs,
Sanjee
More Purrrrrrrrrrrs and nosekissies to my boyfriendcat Miles!!! -- Sanjee
Chew the cord, Sammy! Have your way with it...show it who's boss!
(I like the chew the cord suggestion from the Crew!)
Sammy, I'm so sorry your mom is nuts. Mine is too. Only, you know what's worse? Sometimes my mom forces me to dance with her!
Kill the ipod! Death to the ipod!!!! You poor traumatised cat, oh I sympathise.
x
k - whatcha need here iz the Mighty Bitey. furget the tendrils goin' ta her eers, those iz eezy ta replace. whatcha gotta do iz go fur the tale that konneks it ta the 'puter. ya can't get those just anywares an wifowt it, the evil IPOD can't get ennergee ta live. yoo kin do it!
Cocoa
Our Mom's got one of thosen too - we bumped it off the table so the dog could chew it, but she didn't do a good enough job. Mom is still dancing around!
Them IPOD's is furry easy to kill. Wait till it's all alone, then pee on it.
I like Kimo and Sabi's idea best. :)
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