Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Here is the Meezer Monday Miles Report for today
The Weekend party report- Lots of naps and foods was hadded by all this past weekend. What a great nap pile party!! WOOO HOOOO!!!
The Dad report - Daddy is going to meet with the Human Resources people at his new jobbie today - wish him lots of luck!
The Foods Report - this past week I hadded some HAM, and some chick-hen, and some roast pig, and a little egg. As far as the gluten free foods - well, Sammy is still not going near the bowl, Billy is still eating efurryfing, and I'm starting to nibble a little more on them.
The Outside Report- by Sammy Meezer - Thank you Miles. We are SURROUNDED by alien creachurs. The alien that lives behind us seems to haf spawned - now there is one NEXT to us and one across the street from us. Also, there are more two legged aliens that seem to like playing games with the four legged aliens. I think that the for legged ones are holding the two legged ones as servents or something. And YESTERDAY, there was a alien orange cat on MY patio looking in MY door and HISSING at me! And it wasn't the regular floofy orange cat that terrorizes me. He now has a minion. See, when that new orang cat was getting all hissy with me, I looked 'ahind him and the floofy orange one was sitting about 10 feet back egging him on. It's a conspiracy. They appear to haf been taken ofur by aliens. Back to you Miles.
Uh, right. Thank you Sammy. You are one weird cat. Maybe you should sniff some nip and take a nap.
That is all for the Meezer Monday Miles Report for this week.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
The Nap Party Pile is continuing into the weekend!! Bring your favorite blankies or your tents or pillows or efen teddy bears or stuffed shmousies. We gots lots of foods here too!! Ham, chick-hen, turkey, roast beast, crunchies, stinky goodness and all kinds of treats. COME ON OFUR!!!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
We are thankful today that our daddy gotted a jobbie. and we are thankful for all of our wonderful furriends who haf supported us over the last couple of years - wif love, support and also green papers. We can never thank you enough or repay all of the kindness that you have shown us. Once we get back on our feets a little bit we will feel much better to be able to be in the giving end again when kitties need help.
we are also thankful that MILES gotted some ham last night.
I'm ranting today about FOODS. I know I rants about FOODS alot, but I LOVE FOODS. My girlfriendcat Sanjee and my wonderful furriend Chey bof sented me some gluten free foods (and Sanjee sended us some rattly shmousies to play wif and some fishy flakes for a treat) and I really 'presheeates it! My rant, howefur, is that I WANT MY REGULAR FOODS. Billy loves the new foods that we haf been trying. Sammy won't touch any of it and then he dances on mommy's face at 2am because he's starving. I'm somewhere in between. I nibbles on them but then I holler because I WANT MY REGULAR FOODS. oh and when you're eating PIG in any form I WANT SOME!!! That's NOT what's making me barf. there's no glutens in HAM. or CHICK-HEN. And don't say it's 'acuase you put stuffs on it to make it taste different or make my butt shoot fire or things like that. Cook some for me wifout all that butt exploding stuff. and if you haf cereal for dinner, I want the milk. and then I WANT MY REGULAR FOODS. I'm wasting away here. OH, and how about some pikshurs? We think you're getting lazy and not taking pikshurs. we want our furriends to see us. i'll efen let you take a pikshur of me wif my tilty head (just not when my head tilts upside down, that's not nice). Lastly, lets talk about snuggle time. I'm feeling a little left out. Billy gets speshul mommy snuggle time after you take a bubble baf, and Sammy gets speshul mommy snuggle time when you gets up in the middle of the night. But my speshul mommy snuggle time on the couch is dwindling. Why is that? Oh, I'll tell you why, it's 'acause you haf too many BOOKS in MY snuggle spot. MOVE THEM. OH, and lastly lastly, LEAVE MY EYE BOOGERS ALONE. I likes them in my eyes.
Daddy says FANK YOU for all of the good wishes for his new jobbie. It's his PURRFDAY TODAY!!!!!! HAPPY PURRFDAY DADDY
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
MOOOOOOMMMMMMM LADY PERSON!!!! COME HERE!!!! ::whispers:: is you SHUR that ME has to wear this? ME does not look good in spandex!!!
oh, if ME doesn't wear it ME can't dance?
But YOU can dance
You can jive.................
BREAKING NOOS: Daddy gotted a email and his paperwerk was all ok and he WILL be starting his noo jobbie on April 10!!!
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Weather report - this is spring? seriously? we woke up to snow on the first day of spring.
The Mom report - She's still a lunatic. We are starting to think that this will not change. we're scairt.
The Alien report, by Sammy - Well, I was able to sneak down in the forbidden dungeon last week. Let me tell you, there was a LOT of alien activity. There were clothes all ofur the floor, some on top of the rumbly machines down there, and there were also some hanging out of the bins that mommy says are for some army. I hadded to holler at them really really loud and then the mom came down and carried me back upstairs. Back to you Miles
Right, Thank you for that you strange strange cat.
The Food report - well, I have discovered that if I do not get a certain amount of people foods, that I will just go ahead and eat ANY kind of people foods. Mashed sweet potatoes rock. Ok, no they don't but they're people food and I was able to sneak some. The Mom has been trying to get me to eat some gluten free foods to see if that helps with my sick stomach. Billy loves them all. Sammy will not go near the food bowl and I try a little of each one and then won't go near the bowl again. She says that Sammy and I will eat when we get hungry. Not exactly, what we will do is start jumping up and down on her from 2am until she gets her fat hiney out of bed and gives us some stinky goodness. She's getting somewhat cranky.
The Dad Report - we're still purring that everything will go well and he will start on April 11. But so far they are training him very well to print stuff and drive to the liberry and fax it back to them. Weerd.
That is the Meezer Monday Miles Report for today
Friday, March 20, 2009
Sometimes I just doesn't know what to do. I try and try and try to get mommy to love me, and she goes and pets that other meezer in the hosue, and coos all over him, and then she picks up that orange rat and kisses him all ofur his face. But ME? Well, when I walk all over her lap while she's on the couch, she pushes me off. She doesn't allow me to put my paws all ofur her foods. She doesn't want me to breathe on her or try and lick her tongue while she's eating. She DOESN'T LOVE ME.
Oh shur, after dinner she picks me up and snuggles me and kissies me all ofur my face and lets me lick her all ofur her face, and she lets me pet her face wif my paws. and she lets me lay on her shoulder in bed. and she gifs me really nice windowsill kissies when I get up on the big windowsill in the human litterbox room. And when I frow up she doesn't yell at me or complain, but she will pick me up and huggle me. And some days when my head is really bad tilty, she will pick me up and leak tears all ofur my furs and tells me that she wishes that she could make all my prollems go away. But, she DOESN'T LOVE ME. Why doesn't she just let me step all ofur her foods and eat whatefur I want from her plate? That's TRUE love. Oh Diary, I just doesn't know what to do. Should I find a new mom, Diary?
The Un-loved Miles
(sheesh, what a drama queen - Sammy)
Thursday, March 19, 2009
We is not thankful for our sekretary - we has awards to post and she claims she's just TOOOO tired. we haf no idea why. she gets her 5 1/2 to 6 hours of sleep a night. sometimes she falls asleep on the couch 'afore bed time so she gets efen MORE sleep time. Sheesh. what a whiner.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I am going to be doing the ranting today.
Dear The Mom
Do you haf ANY idea what it does to me when you break my ofurnight routine? Lissen, here is how it's 'posed to go:
You go to bed at 11
You get up at 1 to go to the human litterbox room
You pick me up from the foot of the bed, contort yourself so that I am in a comfortable snuggling posishun, and then we goes to sleep. no breathing your stinky breaf on my neck, ears or Bast forbid, in my face.
You get up at 3am to go to the human litterbox room
You come back to bed, contort yourself into anofur comfortable posishun for me and go back to sleep, again, not breafing your stinky dragon breaf on my furs.
at 4:58 I gets up and sits on the table waiting to whap the beepy thing when it beeps.
For the last 2 nights you haf goned to bed at 11 and then the beepy fing goes off at 5 and there was NO snuggling posishuns, NO getting up, no NOFING!! What's going on woman??? COME ON!! You should start drinking more water after dinner or somefing. I cannot tolerate this change in routine.
Your adoable floofy meezerbaby Sammy
Pee Ess: Ok, so we posted on the cb yesterday that the people where daddy innerviewed wants him to werk there! YAY! We still need to purr that all of the pre-werk stuffs and papers and other fings that haf to be done gets done and is all ok so that daddy can start werk on April 10.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Here is the Meezer Monday Miles Report- Hissed off edishun
The Foods Report - NO PEOPLE FOODS. NO HAM. NO CHICK-HEN. NO PORK CHOPS. NO BACON. DID I MENSHUN NO HAM???? (meezermom's note: um, Miles, you had HAM babyfoods and turkey baby foods, doesn't that count?). UH, NO THE MOM. Those are BLURPY foods. I haf to haf what's on YOUR plate.
The V-E-T Report - I didn't haf to go in (yet) but the mom talked to the v-e-t on the phone and she saided to try crunchy foods with no grains. So we gotted some duck and green pea stuff that we refuse to eat (meezermom's note: oh, you'll eat it. there's no other foods to eat). HEY, this is the MILES report, NOT the THE MOM report. Stop butting in.
The HECK YEAH I'M CRANKY REPORT: And I will remain so until I get some REAL FOODS.
The Meezer Dad Report: We is purring very hard that he hears some good news today about his innerview. Or news about other innerviews. Or just SOME good news.
Friday, March 13, 2009
UPDATE: Here's an update on Daddy's innerview: He saided the innerview was about 1 and 1/2 hours long, and he passed the teknikal part. they saided that they would let him know today or monday - so please please please purrr extra speshul hard, this is a good jobbie for daddy and something that will help in his new career. Fanks!
Well, it's finally Friday!!! We need some purrrss here - please purr for my daddy because he has a jobbie innerview today and it's a good jobbie and somefing that he can do, so please please please purrrrrr that he gets it. Also, please purr for our the mom too, she's nervous about some things at her werk. she doesn't think anything will happen to her, but she gets really nervous when things happen around her. and when she's nervous she DRIVES US ALL NUTSO. does you know how hard it is to live in a house with a crazy lady?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Dear "the Mom"
You're falling behind in your mom duties again. I am definately NOT getting enough pets and brushes in the mornings. I think that you should get up earlier so that you can attend to my needs.
Also............. what? It's not Ranting Wednesday any more, it's Thankful Thursday?
Dear "the Mom" - I am thankful for all of the measley attention that you pay to me, however, I think that you could probably do better. if you got up earlier in the morning, say an hour earlier, I would be reallly thankful. besides, if you gotted up earlier you could also exercise to lose your flab, and I would be even more thankful that you are making an effort to be healthy and less flabby.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Lissen up "the Mom". I'm barfy. I know I'm barfy. You following me around the house with the stoopid spot bot, or jumping up efurry time I cough and hollering "Miles baby? are you ok? are you barfing again? oh poor baby" does not make me barf less. The next thing you know, you're gonna be tying a barf bag around my neck or something. ::SIGH:: Also, please don't menshun the v-e-t around me. You saw last night how just even saying that I had to "go" somewhere made me nervous.
oh, and I'm STARVING because I'm barfing. Pony up the people food woman.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 09, 2009
There will be no Meezer Monday Miles report for today 'acause not only does I haf the barfs, now I has the...........er.........flying poos. I doesn't feel well. Mommy says no more nanner flavored goop though. I migh haf to go back to the v-e-t. Mommy is nervous 'acuase I don't do well there. I haf panic attacks and start panting really hard and then the v-e-t can't do anything. Oh, and they will prolly want to talk about my tilty head some more and want to do some really 'spensive and prolly unnecessary stuff to me that mommy keeps saying will just scare me more. She's furry werried and upset 'acause she knows that I has to go, but she feels really bad for me. ::SIGH::
Saturday, March 07, 2009
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO THE V-E-T. HELLPPPPPPP
Pee Ess - Fank you to efurryone how hit our tip jar to help wif my v-e-t bill. We 'presheate it and it helps very much!
UPDATE: ::SIGH:: I has to take that awful nanner flavored goop 'acause I might haf a virus. They STOLE MY BLOODS. Really, hafn't they taked enuf of my bloods in my life? If I doesn't get better in a few days, then we has to go back and talk to the v-e-t about food allergies. I CAN'T BE 'LERGIK TO FOODS!! OH. MY. BAST. I'D WASTE AWAY TO NOTHING!!!
On an up note, I peed on the mom AND the v-e-t tech.
Fank you Sanjee for going wif me.
Friday, March 06, 2009
SHHHH. ME is here today on Billy Friday. Miles is pukey (he has puked for 4 days in a row this week) and mommy is trying to fgure out the green papers sichuashun to take him to the v-e-t, and he's FREAKING out about it. SO, 'acuase it's stressful around here ME is gonna post a extra special edishun of DANCING WIF BILLY.
'acause ME Is a Goody Four Paws
goody goody four paws
ME don't drink
ME don't smoke
what does ME do?
um ME DANCES
Thursday, March 05, 2009
OH. MY. BAST. We knows that some of you kitties get a noosletter in your email from a certain v-e-t named Dr. J-O-N. He's the one that mentioned Buddah in an article, remember? WELL, whatefur you do, DELETE yesterday's noosletter. It contains information that could thwart our efforts at Total Werld Dom-a-nay-shun. It contains an article about ::shudder:: "thwarting the alarm clock cat". Avoid your beans reading this at all costs. Our mom person read it and now she had "ideas" in her head about getting "sleep". I DON'T THINK SO!!!!
Oh, about the near drowning: She DUMPED A WHOLE BOWL OF WATER ON MY HEAD. I'm lucky to have survived.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Dear so called MOM:
MY CRUNCHY BOWL IS EMPTY. get your hefty hiney off the couch and fill it. I'm so tired of having to remind you on a nighty basis. I don't ask for alot. I'm not always there slapping your hand while you eat to try and steal your foods. You can keep your foods - I don't like your foods. I like my crunchies. I don't even really like stinky goodness that much. I LIKE MY CRUNCHIES. Why does I have to stare into a empty bowl efurry night?? It's furry stressful!!! When I get stressed I haf to whap stuff. Which is why you ended up wif a wet lap last night. Stop falling asleep on the couch, get up, open the cabinet and GET ME MY FOODS.
Next week we will talk about you trying to drown me.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
Here is the Meezer Monday Miles report - the Sick Mom Edishun
The mom has been sick since Thursday night. Here are some things that we have been hearing all weekend.
SSSGGGGGGGGGGGHhhh (I think that's how you spell it)
::breathing like Darth Vader::
det op by ed (I think that was GET OFF MY HEAD).
I dant breeeve
by moub ib dry (I think that was my mouth is dry)
Bildy, why id you whole back side wet? (because he wented swimming in the water bowl).
det op my face
We gotted NO foods (except our normal stinky goodness) this weekend. We just watch her use about eleventy four squillion tissues and now her nose is all red and peely and looks gross. she's a mess.
NICHOLAS THIEVINGPANTS So, mommy is giving us new foods because of mine stoopid brofur Miles. He barfs a lot when he has certain foods. ...
NICHOLAS FUZZYPANTS I is thankful today that I gets to meet mine daddy tonight!!! Today is his purrfday and he is coming up here to spend ...
MILES We gotted our Secret Paws pakage! Fank you so much Sophia and Diva Kitty's Mom! We love our blankies (and Sophia didded a good j...