Happy (?) New Year

MILES THE MAD

Happy New Year. I guess. I am still so mad a the mom. I really want to apologize to efurryone that we did not get our holiday cards out . Mommy says that between Me and Billy being sick, and werk and "life" (like she's allowed to have one!) she just could not get everything done. We appreciate all of the cards that we got. We are still working on the thank you notes for all of the generous donations to our v-e-t bills. Those WILL go out (or there will be pandemonium, and anarchy around here).

Mommy is furry werrie about me - my head it tilted to the left most of the time and sometimes when I look up at her when she is standing up my head is almost upside down it's so tilted. She just holds me and cries. Like it's not bad enough that I'm tilted, but now i have to be slobberd on, and wet too? SHEESH - get a grip woman! Although my head is tilted, I am not nearly as wobbly as I was before. I still have prollems jumping up on high places, but I am better. So I really really REALLY does not want to go back to the v-e-t but there's still that threat. Mommy says she has to talk to the v-e-t to see what the "next steps" are. 'asides an oper-way-shun.

Oh, and last night Billy whapped a full glass of water right onto mommy's head while she was sleeping. now THAT was some comedy. She gasped really loud and sat straight up really really fast and looked like someone was trying to kill her or something. HOLY COW, it was HYSTERICAL. And then she saided something like fev-ver pillows take forever to dry. and she hadded to wrap the pillow in one of her big giant bath sheet towels.

Tuesdays With Bill - Chicken Fat

BILLY SWEET FEETS

It's 'barassing when mommy sings this. She useded to play this when she teached nursery school - she would force the kiddies in her class to do this 'afore lunch so that they would sleep during nap time. Oh, wait. So that they would be healthy. Yeah, that's it.

Ok euffrybody, get ready!!!!

Mad Meezer Monday

MILES

I is a FURRY MAD MEEZER. I is FURRY MAD AT THE MOM. Furriends, we really need a new mother. We is so far 'ahind on our holiday stuff - we haf not gotted our cards out yet 'acause she has been "busy" wif her mommy and daddy, and EXCUSES EXCUSES EXCUSES. Oh, and that whole "sick" thing for a week. We will nail her to the sofa to make her do our cards - 'acause we gotted so many nice cards and we doesn't want our furriends to hate us for not getting ours out. ::glaring at the mom::

Well, we did get our secret paws boxes out so hopefully they will arrive soon!! We is sorry that they're arriving almost at the end of the time, but, well, YOU should try hafing our mom for a mom. SHEESH . SHE NEFUR LISSENS.

To efurryone that sented us a secret paws gift - we akshually haf pikshurs. In the camera. If I hadded thumbs I could take the memory card out and put it in the laptop myself, but it's furry small and I need a thumb.

I might haf to go back to the v-e-t this week. I'm still tipsy and mommy says that i is walking around wif my head tilted pretty far to the left. I DON'T WANT TO GO. Sanjee, can you please hide me? Mommy is back at werk this week so we has all day to find a good hiding spot.

::SIGH:: I need a new mom.

Merry Chrissymouse

MILES

Here is a link to the bestest chrissymouse song EVER (because I wroted it)

Here is a new one I writed (to the tune of The 12 Days of Christmas)

On the first day of christmas
my true love gave to me
a whole pig in the freezer

On the second day of christmas
my true love gave to me
two doves and turtles and............

On the third day of christmas
my true love gave to me
three frenched hens,.............

On the fourth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
four big birds.............

On the fifth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
FIVE FRIED CHICK-HENS...........

On the sixth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
six cans of ham..............

On the seventh day of christmas
my true love gave to me
seven pints of cream...........

on the eighth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
eight nip mousies..........

on the ninth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
nine chickens dancing........

on the tenth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
ten turkeys leaping.......

on the eleventh day of christmas
my true love gave to me
eleven pork rinds crackling......

on the twelfth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
twelve rolls of rolaids...........

The Meezers Night Before Christmas - part II

Part 1 is here

'Twas the night before christmas

and again through the house

all the creatures were stirring

and making mommy grouse

No stockings were hung

by the TV this year

'cause we have a BILL

and he doesn't care

The Meezers weren't nestled

or snug in their beds

a game of THOE

was happening overhead

And the mom in her fleece

and the dad in his hat

had just settled their butts

when the dad yelled "What was that?"

Well up in the bedroom

there arose such a clatter

that the mom sprang to her feet

to see what was the matter

Away to the stairs she flew like a flash

tripped on the first step

and fell on her a**

the moon in the living room

of the newly fallen the mom

was a sight to behold

but not one we would recommend

(oh come on, it's hard to rhyme MOM and still make sense)

Then what to our wondering eyes did appear

but the big fleecy beast

and it struck us with fear

Who knew the old lady

could move quite that fast

we knew in a moment

our fun times won't last

She whistled and shouted

and called us by name

Now Squishy

Now DIzzy

Now Wheezy

HEY YOU

come on Sammy

MILES!

BILLY !

you all

to the top of the stairs

now RUN AWAY RUN AWAY

GET DOWN THE HALL

As bad kitties who never hear her yell

we meet with the fleece monster

oh, we're going to he**

so down the hall we scamper and prance

singing "you can't stop our merry christmas dance"

And then in a twinkling

she heard someone tinkling

(WAIT, MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM do we HAF to let Billy help write this?)

And then in the dim light

she saw something weird

she looked down the hall

and the light disappeard

She squinted her eyes

and drew in her breath

"if you broke that lamp

you'll meet an untimely death"

She groped at the wall

she bounced off the rail

she took a step

and stomped on a tail

The Meezers and Bill

knew they must chill

or Santy might come

and leave something dumb

As they settled in their beds

and the mom rubbed their heads

they each gave a purr

as she stroked their soft fur

Their dreams were for peace

and toys and feasts

and the mom heard them say

as they drifted away

Merry Chrissymouse to all

And to all a Good Night

Tuesdays With Bill

BILLY SWEET FEETS

BILLY: HEY MOM LADY PERSON!!! Can you come here and talk to ME?

Mom Lady Person (MLP): Of course little man, what do you want to talk about?

BILLY: Well, how comes we can't open the secret paws presents that we gotted:

MLP: Well, we is waiting for all of them to arrive, and we have to send out the ones that YOU are sending out

BILLY: WHY hasn't YOU sented them out?

MLP: Well, there's about a foot of snow and the roads have not been plowed and I was sick and........

BILLY: 'SKUSES!!! ME does not want to hear 'SKUSES!!

MLP: Billy, that's not very nice. Remember, Santy Paws is coming in 2 days

BILLY: Who is Santy Paws?

MLP: Santy Paws is.............. well, he's..............

SAMMY: I'll answer this one mother. Santy Paws is a fat old man who gets stuck in chimneys, smells like vishus deer and jiggles like jello. And he brings nip toys to good kitties.

BILLY: MLP?? Has ME been a good kitty? ME tries to be a good kitty.

MLP: Yes Billy, you have been a good kitty. you lived on your own and had your own rules for half your life and then you came here to live and have to live by our rules and you try very hard. You can't help it if you have a slip up now and then. Plus, you have medical problems and Santy Paws takes that into account to.

BILLY: Does Santy Paws bring pressies for mommies and daddies too?

MLP: Yes he brings pressies to all mommies and daddies who love their kitties and do their very best to always be good to their kitties.

BILLY: MLP, can ME write a letter to Santy Paws??

MLP: Sure you can honey. You tell me what to write:

BILLY: OK, Dear Santy Paws who stinks like deer and jiggles like jello. ME has been a good boy this year since I camed here to live. Please bring me some nip toys to hide and some stuff for my brofurs too. Oh, and please keep all of my furriends safe and warm ('speshully Jeter) and bring them lots of ham and turkey and roast beast and real live dead shrimp ('speshully Max). Oh and please bring the mommies and daddies lots of cool stuff too. Oh, and please bring my furriends at the v-e-t lots of cool stuff 'acuase they love me and I love them. Oh, and lots of cool stuff for mine daddy too. Oh, bring lots of nice stuff for everycat and efurry woofie!!!! Thank you - your furriend Billy SweetFeets Norton Gingersnap

SAMMY: ::Whispers to Billy::

BILLY: OH, and PEE ESS: Please bring somefing for the Mom Lady Person. She's not so bad. She lets me eat her dinner.

MLP: That was very nice Billy. Is there anything else?

BILLY: Nope, you can go away now........................ oh, FANKS!!!!! ::runs over and gives MLP a headbutt and whispers:: ME finks me loves you MLP

MLP: It's a chrissymouse miracle!!!!

Meezer Monday

SAMMY

A note to the woman:

If you don't have a brush in your hand, I have no use for your petting. There's a reason why I whapped the brush into your back and onto your head while you were bomiting over the weekend. BRUSH ME. You had time between bomits to brush me. I was there. I saw you just sitting there. I don't care that you were slightly green and moaning. Your hands were not busy. BRUSH ME!!!!! I has to keep my furs floofy for my Abby darling.

Yours truly


PEE ESS: What's a "Brush hore?" (I think that werd in on my bad werd list. OOOOOOOOOOOO now you're in trouble for calling me a bad name)

Update

MILES

Sorry we didn't update more yesterday - mommy has been really sicky with bomiting every hour or so all day yesterday and all last night.

the v-e-t saided that i does haf a small polyp that is prolly what's making me dizzy. he talkded to the bomit queen and they 'acided to wait a couple of weeks to see if i gets better. yesterday i jumpded up to get on the couch and made it up there 'afore i falled ofur, so that's a good sign that i might get better!

ok, well, we gots to go and walk all ofur mommy's stomach to make her feel better.

V-E-T results

MILES

Ok, so I wented to the v-e-t yesterday and they maded me sleepy to do some tests. But not 'afore I peed on the v-e-t and a assistant. So after the tests I was groggy for a while. Then mommy camed and she talked to the v-e-t. He thinks that the mri shows that I haf a small polyp that's making me dizzy. he will haf the head v-e-t double check and let mommy know in the morning. They could operate or wait a couple of weeks to see if I gets better. The v-e-t thinks that i could get better 'acuase my eyes is not moving as much as they was. i gotted some new med-i-cines to make me less sick to my stomach. but then mommy gived me CRAB for dinner. So i might forgive her for making me go there all day.

Thursday!!!

SAMMY

Miles is NOT HAPPY hafing to go to the v-e-t all day today. The v-e-t will call in the afternoon for mommy to pick him up.

TONIGHT!!! OH YEAH!!!! TONIGHT we is hosting a chatzy party!! Something FUN! There will be lots of foods and drinks and prolly DANCING ON THE CEILING!!

Here is the link: http://www.chatzy.com/923994052118 the password is littleelffeet. We will open the room early, however we will not be there for the party until about 7pm eastern time. WOO HOOO!!!

Meezer Rule and Whapping Wednesday

MILES

My rule for today: Baths STINK!!!!! (but prolly not as much as falling into the litterbox).

SAMMY

Whappage for this week: 2 tables full of chrissymouse cards and presents- totally cleaned off. We need a tree.