Friday, October 30, 2009

Hello-ween!

SAMMY

So, tomorrow is hello-ween.  Our the mom wants to dress us up like sooper heroes. She wants me to be The Whapinator, and Billy to be The Orinch Meniss, and Miles to be The Poosinator.  

I say Good Luck to you Woman! You will be dressing up as an accident victim. 

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Foughtful Furrsday

BILLY SWEET FEETS

ME has been finking that ME LOVES woofie foods.  When MY furriend Maxx bisits, ME loves to eat his woofie stinky goodness.  ME wonders if the Mom Lady Person will buy ME my OWN woofie food.  That would be PAWSOME.  She gets these little containers of foods like FILET MIG-NON for the woofie and it is so yummy.  Why doesn't KITTY foods makers make that kind of foods for us?

(oh and those of you wif readers will prolly notice that the MLP putted the wrong day in the title until ME reminded her of the right day). 

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

WHAT did you just call me?

MILES

WHY on earf would you fink I am a monkey? and a CHUNKY one at that?  Is you blind? Is you afused? is you just plain crazy? WHAT IS WRONG WIF YOU WOMAN?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Dancing Tuesday wif Billy SweetFeets

BILLY SWEET FEETS

Hey MOM LADY PERSON!!!

Don't forget to

WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO!!

::jitterbugs::

WOO HOOO!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report

MILES

Here is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today.


The "I has a sad" report - We is all furry sad this morning - it was a rough weekend in the cat blogosphere with Beezer, Kimiko, Private and BG all going to the Bridge.  Our faces leaked lots for our furriends and their families.  Also, today is the 7th annifurrsary of our "One Who Came Before" Ralphie running off to the Bridge.  We is also furry sad about this (efen though we nefur meeted him)  (Sammy's Note: I HAF.  more to come in my report).

The Foods Report - well, we hadded some eggs and bacon and some ofur stuffs that was not quite eatible, like spinach and lettuce and SQUASH. OH and we hadded LAMB.  It was OK, but the mom putted too much garlicky stuffs on it.  (Sammy's note: spinach, lettuce and squash is good). 

Ok, on that note it's time for the Lunatic..........er Ghost Report from our resident whack job Sammy:   Right - at least I can jump up to the window sill because MY butt's not FAT.  Ok, so, I finally gotted to go into the dungeon (ok, I was bad and ranned there when the mom was doing the laundry) and I gotted to talk to the ghosts.  See, The One Who Came Before, and Gramma Trixie and Grampa Norton usded to stay down there during the day when the mom was at werk.  (there is a nice cowch down there and some great boxes).  So, I knows where The One Who Came Before used to hang out and I goes down there to talk to him.  He ranned off to the Bridge 7 years ago today and he saided that he misses the mom huggling him and the dad wrestling wif him but he thinks the Bridge is a furry wonderful place.  And efen though it makes us all sad when anofur kitty runs off to there, he's meeting many wonderful new furriends and they is all hafing a good time playing and there's all different kinds of stuff there.  But he says that the thing efurry furry likes the most is the times during the days and nights that they gets to watch ofur us so that they knows we (and our the moms and the dads and the little beans) is all ok.  He says that he knows our the mom can see him in the shadows efurry evening during what was their "speshul time together".  I doesn't know why the mom doesn't like it when I goes in the dungeon 'acuase it's 'portant to learn these things.  Oh, maybe it's 'acuase I gets in the box wif the chrissymouse wreaf and eat it.  (it's "flocked" and it's really good to eat and it freaks the mom out when I does it.  I always find it no matter where she hides it.  I efen tipped ofur a whole stack of boxes to get to it once). 
Back to you bowling ball butt. 

Thanks.  Wow, you really need help. 

The "what did Billy do to get in trouble this week" report:  Billy was akshually good again this week.  He's still really wheezy and he coughs alot.  The mom is threatening to take him to the v-e-t if his pills doesn't make him better this week.

The aftermath of the toof incident report -  well the mom has a nasty black and blue mark on her leg wif a hole in the middle of it (well, our the mom bruises REALLY easily so that's normal).  My toof seems to be ok, but I still make the mom feel guilty.  I gotted more ice cream for it.  hee hee. 

Halloween is this weekend! We likes Halloween but we HATES the doorbell ringing all the time.  Hopefully it will be nice out and our the mom can sit outside all night wif the fire pit and hand out treats so that no one has to ring the bell. 

Friday, October 23, 2009

Fangful Friday

MILES

I gotted my FANG stuck in the mom's leg last night! See, I likes to lick her legs when she is wearing shorts and stuffs, and she moved her leg so I putted the bitey on her. And then my fang gotted stuck.  She jerked her leg up and mashed me in the face, then she pulled her leg away and almost took my toof wif her! Sheesh! I doesn't need any more teefs pulled out - I hadded 5 pulled out by the mean nasty v-e-t! She should haf just letted ME pull my toof out of her leg.  Now my mouf is sore (ok, well not really, but I has to make her feel guilty so I gets extra speshul cuddles AND some ice cream) and I fink I meow wif a lisp now. 

Thursday, October 22, 2009

::SIGH::

SAMMY

::SIGH::   The Mom, I really need to go into the dungeon!  Why won't you let me down there? I PROMISE not to eat more of the chrissymouse reeth or get into the boxes of china.  Doesn't you unnerstand? There are GHOSTS down there that need to talk to me!! The One Who Came Before has been calling me and I NEEDS to go down there!!!!! PLEASE???????????

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

tsk tsk tsk

BILLY SWEET FEETS


 Deer Mom Lady Person - ME NEEDS to PLAYPLAYPLAY.   When YOU is going ::SNORKSNORKSNORK:: at night in the sleeping room and you haf your hand sticking out from unner the covers, ME HAS TO PLAYPLAYPLAY wif your fingers.  When ME puts the bitey on your fingers please don't wake up and scream anymore.   you scairt ME and then ME ranned ofur your face wif my claws out.  shame on you for scairting ME.  

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Dancing Tuesday wif Billy SweetFeets

BILLY SWEET FEETS

OH BOY!! My Mom Lady Person says that she MAY haf danced to this song when it was NEW.  That means she's ANE-CHENT!!!! HAHAHAHA 

Monday, October 19, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report

MILES

Here is the Meezer Monday Miles report for today: 

The Foods report - well, this week STUNK.  Between the mom running low on our regular foods, she was eating things like oatmeal and cereal.  So we gotted cereal milk, and one night we gotted some steak.  But on Sunday morning she maded some sort of bacon - but it hadded STUFF on it like brown sugar and garlic and curry powder and pepper.  she loved it but it smelled WEERD.  She has to stop watching that cooking network.  It makes her get funny ideas about how to ruin foods.  

The What Did Billy Do to Get In Trouble report: Billy was GOOD this week.  Of course, he's all coughy and wheezy again, so he doesn't haf much energy to run outside.  PLUS, it was freezing all last week.  BUT yesterday he did somefining really funny - he dipped his paws in the mom's water glass and then sprayed water all ofur her face.  that was hysterical! 

The Alien Report - by our resident psycho patient Sammy:   Um, thanks lead butt.   Well, the aliens were quiet last week.  Maybe they don't like cold weather.  Maybe that's the key to getting rid of them - making it cold all the time.  I will haf to do some research on that.  BUT, it still seems like the alien next door is eating the people in his house.  He still has some sort of femur or something laying on the patio.  (the mom's note: Sammy, I told you last week it was a pig bone).  (Sammy's note: right. that pig must be like 6 feet tall or something).   back to you oh master of the swinging belly flab! 

::SIGH:: he really needs help! Can someone sugjest a good psychiatrist for him? 

That is the Meezer Monday Miles report for this week.  

Friday, October 16, 2009

Fankful Friday

MILES

WE GOTTED LITTER!  AND stinky goodness! But now we is out of crunchies.  ::SIGH:: we need a new the mom. 

 

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Thankless Thursday

SAMMY

We would be thankful today, but we are low on foods and litter, so we is thankless.  we will be thankful if the mom akshually 'amembers to pick up stinky goodness and litter on her way home.  

sheesh, beans are hard to train 

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wednesday Rant

MILES

An Open Letter to the Little Orange Meniss: 

Deer Orange Meniss

STOP LICKING MY HEAD.  I love you and all that little bro, but really, my head smells like your nasty breaf now . And please wash your face - you haf hadded those eye boogers for days.  SHEESH! Now that you're 2 you should really take a grooming class or somefing.  
Oh, and if you stick your claws or teefs into my tail ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to knock the snot out of you.  And I knows you gots lots of snot 'acuase you SNEEZED ON MY HEAD last night.  That was gross.  But it was funny when you sneezed in the mom's face after that.  


In summary - please use your tongue on YOURSELF instead of on ME.  


Sin-serely
Your brofur 
Miles Phillippe Meezer

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Monday, October 12, 2009

Meezer Monday Miles Report

MILES

Here is the Meezer Monday Miles Report

The Foods Report  - well when we were at the foo-ton dude's house, we hadded HAM and SHRIMPS on the foo-ton (ok, the plate was on the foo-ton, not the foods.  I would not eat foods that were on the foo-ton.  because, well, you know, their BUTTS sit there.  ew.).  And we also hadded roast pork. 

The Mom is Crazy Report - she spended the weekend re-arranging the furnichur, then she 'acided that she hated it and moved it back.  but she gotted rid of some furnichur.  so it's less crowded in here. 

The Alien Report - by our resident whacko Sammy - uh, thanks lardo.  Well, at the dads house there were 3 aliens - and they was loud!!!  The alien next door seems to haf killed someone and is now chewing on it's femur (the mom's note: not really,  it's a ham bone).  this is making the alien 'ahind us crazy it seems that she prolly finished eating the beans that live there and she wants more .  Back to you fat butt. 

Uh thanks Sammy.  Please take your medicine. 

The What Did Billy Do to Get in trouble this week report:   Well, take a guess.  no, not that.  Well, yeah some of that but not enough to get in trouble.  YES! That's it! Running out of the house AGAIN.  This time he made it to the road.  The mom was MAD MAD MAD.  Billy is grownded for this life and his next one! 

That is the Meezer Monday Miles Report for today.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Finally Friday

SAMMY

::blink blink:: oh, the mom, does you haf to get up and go to werk today? See, i'm laying on my back wif my tummy showing and all i wants is some snuggles and cuddles and then we can go back to sleep.  i doesn't want to wait till tomorrow.  i's feeling snuggly NOW.  Tomorrow I will prolly feel bitey at 3am and then you will get mad at me.  No? You can't stay home? ::sigh:: the mom, you stink. 

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Thankful Thursday

SAMMY


I am thankful today that our the mom gotted us home from our the dad's house safely.  I am also thankful that Miles did not poot very much while we was in the PTU.  (We haf 2 PTU's - one big enough for 2 kitties that Trixie and Ralphie used to share, and one big enough for 1 kitty that used to be Norton's.  Me and Miles share the big one while Billy Big Mouth has the other one by himself).  Miles has a rather substantial hind end that takes up 80% of our PTU, but I could not share with Billy 'acuase he would make me crazy with all of his turning around and hollering.  I prefer to just lay there and try not to get sea sick.  The mom thinks that I could not haf my own PTU 'acuase then I just holler.  There is NO pleasing that woman. 


I is also thankful that we gotted to bisit the dad.  I loved laying in the windows there.  And there were LOTS of aliens in his yard! More on that next week! I has to go through all of my notes for a full report. 


Lastly, I is thankful that the mom FINALLY scooped the box.  Sheesh.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Wednesday Rant

MILES

NO THE MOM!! We doesn't want to go back in the PTU's.  I haf to stay in the PTU wif Sammy and he's nefur happy wif his 20% of the space.  And WHY can't Billy sit on your head all the way home?????

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Monday, October 05, 2009

Special Gingersnap Report

BILLY SWEETFEETS

So, ME was just laying around minding my own business when the mom lady person picks up Miles and takes him out of the house.  Then she runs in and takes SAMMY out of the house.  UH OH.  Then she runs in and tries to get ME, but ME is smart and ME runs away from her.   ME hides next to the food dish, finking that now ME will get a WHOLE CAN of stinky goodness to myself, but NOOOOOOOO, she picks me up and takes me outside and shoves me into the PTU that's in the metal machine.  Then she gets in and we start going.  Sammy and Miles and chilled out in theirs but ME is still mad that ME did not get stinky goodness, so ME starts hollering at her "HEY! MOM LADY PERSON! GIVE ME THE STINKY GOODNESS!!!" But she didn't lissen.  Then it starts getting dark and ME thinks the Mom Lady Person is lost of somefing.  So ME starts hollering again "HEY MOM LADY PERSON, IS WE LOST???" But again, she's not lissening, she just turns up the music box thing and starts cat-er-walling to the music.  So, ME thinks that if SHE can cat-er-wall then ME can too - so ME starts.  ME is better than her BTW.  After hollering for eleventy two SQUILLION hours, in the blinding dark, we stops.  We is at the DAD MAN LADY PERSON'S HOUSE.  The DMLP werks on days our MLP doesn't, so our MLP taked bay-k-shun time and we camed to visit him.  We will be here till Wednesday Rant Day and then we will go home so that the MLP can do back to werk.  

The Meezer Monday Miles report will return next Monday.  

This has been the BILLY SWEETFEETS NORTON GINGERSNAP special report.  

Sunday, October 04, 2009

we've been kidnapped!!

AHHH we was stuffed in the PTU's and then shoved in the metal machine.  we's being kidnapped!  (is it being kidnapped when your the mom is doing the kidnapping??)  we finks that we is going to see the dad (dad lady person) .  we hopes so.  we will let you know more later.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Billy Friday

BILLY SWEET FEETS

ME has a kweschun for all of you kitties that ME needs to know the answer to: 

Are all of your The Mom Lady Persons (or Dad Lady Persons) crazy too? Our The Mom Lady Person is NUTS.  She finks that she can get us to eat HEALFY crunchies by mixing them in wif our "junk foods" (her werds not mine) noms.  She is trying to switch our litters from what we use to some shredded tree stuff, (and we is peeing on the floor in protest, so we win that battle), and the werst thing - she is not gifing us nearly enuf noms from her plate.  She says that we (me and Miles and Sammy when it's chick-hen) eats HALF of her foods.  Well, seriously, she can stand to drop some of her tonnage, so we is HELPING her right? Also, she says that ME has a flabby man-purse and that ME is too wide for my height.  She's crazy, right?

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Hey Miles

BILLY SWEETFEETS

Deer Miles

ME KNOWS that you put your tail in my face on purpose.  You walk by me and flick it at me.  You sit next to me and flick it at me.  Efurrywhere ME goes, your tail flicks at me.  Efen when you is akrost the room, I can feel your evil tail flicking at me.  If you has Resless Tail Sindrome, you needs to take med-i-k-shun for it.  'acause ME HAS to put the bitey on any tail that flicks at me.  Sammy's tail does not flick at me, so ME does not haf to put the bitey on his.  (we won't talk about his evil head getting in my way all the time and me hafing to put the bitey on his head).  Just like ME has to put the bitey on the mom lady person's fingers all the time when they is getting near my face.  Or when they is hiding unner the blankies.  Or when they is trying to get the stinky goodness out of the can.  They're in my way so ME has to bitey them. 

Sin-serely 
Your brofur Billy SweetFeets Norton Gingersnap the 1st


Deer Orange Menace

STOP PUTTING THE BITEY ON MY TAIL.  I MEAN IT.  I will haf to put the bitey on YOU and then you will scream like a little girl and the mom will take your side in the fight and I will get in trouble and it's really ALL YOUR FAULT.  Oh, wait, it's ME that screams like a little girl.  And yet the mom STILL takes your side.  but it's still ALL YOUR FAULT.  

Sin-serely
Your brofur Miles Phillippe Meezer 


Deer Lard Butt and Orange Menace

Both of you STAY THE HISS AWAY FROM ME.  When you rassle and roll ofur me, I's going to whap both of you.  If you don't want me to whap you in the head STAY AWAY FROM ME.  Sheesh.  You two are whiney little brats.  

Sin-serely 
Samuel Alfonse Meezer 


Deer The Mom Lady Person

MAKE HIM STOP!!!! HE'S TOUCHING ME!!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sin-serely
The Boys. 

Dear Boys

Holy Bast.  Can you just SLEEP through the night and NOT rassle on my back at 2am? And please, Miles honey, love of my life, your screaming like a girl getting murdered in a horror movie has GOT to STOP!  I love you and if you need medication for your restless tail, I will take you to the v-e-t and he will poke you and stick things where they don't belong and then give you some pills.  Would that make you happy? 

Love to all of you
Mommy 


Deer The Mom

Uh, NO.  

Sin-serely
Miles  

the hots

NICHOLAS HOTPANTS we has the hots here, and we knows that some of you haf efen WERSE hots.   So, we is going to be hosting a pawty somew...